Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "CHAPTER EIGHTEEN; PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
54 total reviews
Comment from pbroussard209
Really you're going to stop there? lol this was a great chapter showing off the personalities and friendships.
Morgan pushed his way passed them and ran out (into) the grass.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Really you're going to stop there? lol this was a great chapter showing off the personalities and friendships.
Morgan pushed his way passed them and ran out (into) the grass.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I thought I changed Morgan and the grass. Oh dear maybe I forgot to save.
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Lol, l do that all the time, or I will change in on my manuscript but not on my post.
Comment from Lat 23 Writer
As usual the dialogue is terrific. A light natural banter easily followed and although this post lacked significant action (Until the last line) the dialogue is able to reveal facts about records of slaves the existence of tunnels under the house etc.and move the story along nicely. In the last line you've once again moved the "Hook" along.Well done. Though it might just be me but it didn't flow like the preceding section. Any chance of a slight re-write on just that line? Maybe something like" Back in her book Paige stirred at a sudden bark from Morgan. Frowning she put aside the book and started to rise. Morgan barked again a deeper guttural bark this time ending in a low growl. "What is it boy?" she called, now on her feet and running for the hallway. Her only answer was a strangled yip followed by silence. Heart pounding she rounded the corner skidding to a stop "How'd you get in here? Where's Mary and Morgan?"
Anyway whatever you do with it, another brilliant posting.
Well done
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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As usual the dialogue is terrific. A light natural banter easily followed and although this post lacked significant action (Until the last line) the dialogue is able to reveal facts about records of slaves the existence of tunnels under the house etc.and move the story along nicely. In the last line you've once again moved the "Hook" along.Well done. Though it might just be me but it didn't flow like the preceding section. Any chance of a slight re-write on just that line? Maybe something like" Back in her book Paige stirred at a sudden bark from Morgan. Frowning she put aside the book and started to rise. Morgan barked again a deeper guttural bark this time ending in a low growl. "What is it boy?" she called, now on her feet and running for the hallway. Her only answer was a strangled yip followed by silence. Heart pounding she rounded the corner skidding to a stop "How'd you get in here? Where's Mary and Morgan?"
Anyway whatever you do with it, another brilliant posting.
Well done
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
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I will check it out. Thank you for the suggestion.
Comment from Norbanus
Morgan doesn't look like a pup anymore, but he's holding up his end of the story.
There seems to be a word missing here:
As the door opened, Morgan pushed his way passed them and ran out (to) the grass.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Morgan doesn't look like a pup anymore, but he's holding up his end of the story.
There seems to be a word missing here:
As the door opened, Morgan pushed his way passed them and ran out (to) the grass.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I really need to check that area. I have had numerous complaints. I fixed it but still have it wrong. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
This reads smoothly and with true to life dialog. It does not stand alone as a solid chapter, but as your notes mention, it's not meant to!
Noticed one spag:
*As the door opened, Morgan pushed his way passed(PAST) them
Cute how Paige changed the rules of racing just at the end there, clever girl.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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This reads smoothly and with true to life dialog. It does not stand alone as a solid chapter, but as your notes mention, it's not meant to!
Noticed one spag:
*As the door opened, Morgan pushed his way passed(PAST) them
Cute how Paige changed the rules of racing just at the end there, clever girl.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I always get passed and past mixed up. GRRRRRRRRRRrr I appreciate the catch.
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Happens to all of us, dear. :)
Comment from judiverse
Very delightful and well deserving a six. I like the light-hearted moment at breakfast, between appearances of Bookman and other odd happenings. As everyone is taking care of some business, Paige starts to read one of the books about slaves, and suddenly she hears Morgan, but there's no sign of him or Mary Pat. The information about the tunnels used in the underground railroad will surely be useful. Lots of suspense. judi
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Very delightful and well deserving a six. I like the light-hearted moment at breakfast, between appearances of Bookman and other odd happenings. As everyone is taking care of some business, Paige starts to read one of the books about slaves, and suddenly she hears Morgan, but there's no sign of him or Mary Pat. The information about the tunnels used in the underground railroad will surely be useful. Lots of suspense. judi
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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Hi, Barbara. You're so welcome. judi
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This section goes from fun to serious. Wonder who's barged in uninvited now? Poor Morgan. Sounds like he got hurt. Well done, Barbara. :) nancy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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This section goes from fun to serious. Wonder who's barged in uninvited now? Poor Morgan. Sounds like he got hurt. Well done, Barbara. :) nancy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I am actually worried about Morgan myself. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
Oh no, no I have to wait a whole week to see who it is that got in the house? That's going to be a rough one. Good chapter. god loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Oh no, no I have to wait a whole week to see who it is that got in the house? That's going to be a rough one. Good chapter. god loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I am editing it right now. LOL. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
You left us wondering who is in the hallway and what happened to Mary Pat and Morgan. It is as if they were swallowed up in just a few seconds.
I have no suggestions.
April
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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You left us wondering who is in the hallway and what happened to Mary Pat and Morgan. It is as if they were swallowed up in just a few seconds.
I have no suggestions.
April
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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They were! LOL. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
I guess Walker's in the house. Heck of the cliff hanger. Miss your post yesterday but i figured you'd post it today - holiday and all. So the underground tunnels must have something to do with the treasure, I guess.
E
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I guess Walker's in the house. Heck of the cliff hanger. Miss your post yesterday but i figured you'd post it today - holiday and all. So the underground tunnels must have something to do with the treasure, I guess.
E
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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I had a nasty week last week and wasn't ready to post yesterday. I always appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Great chapter with excellent dialogue too. You left me with another cliffhanger...now I have to wait to find out who the heck came into the house. I anxiously await the next chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Great chapter with excellent dialogue too. You left me with another cliffhanger...now I have to wait to find out who the heck came into the house. I anxiously await the next chapter.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you, but now even more so. Now I know you are doing all right.
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I am doing very well. I am getting tired of being inside so much and the liquid diet has lost all (if it ever had any) appeal.
