Beautiful
1500 words - short for me!!34 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This story can bring tears to a person's eyes. Very heart warming. To hear the mom speak is truly amazing. The word 'beautiful', and the smell of roses would bring anyone to their feet.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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This story can bring tears to a person's eyes. Very heart warming. To hear the mom speak is truly amazing. The word 'beautiful', and the smell of roses would bring anyone to their feet.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2019
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Oh goodness, you found this one! How sweet, Rosemary - yes, it's one of my favorites. Thank you so much for reading & reviewing! :)Sharyn
Comment from JanPerry
Lovely story. Im glad you received acclaim for it. I like this style of writing, your admiration yet confusion for your dad's profession.
Very well thought out, many tales on one page. An interesting read, thanks.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Lovely story. Im glad you received acclaim for it. I like this style of writing, your admiration yet confusion for your dad's profession.
Very well thought out, many tales on one page. An interesting read, thanks.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2015
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Glad you caught that one Jan - it's fiction, of course, yes? :)S
Comment from Artnletters
Absolutely touching and rich with emotion and hope. A truly beautiful story that resonate with my optimistic outlook on life. The characters bigger than life and real. Very good piece which I enjoyed reading, from start to finish.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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Absolutely touching and rich with emotion and hope. A truly beautiful story that resonate with my optimistic outlook on life. The characters bigger than life and real. Very good piece which I enjoyed reading, from start to finish.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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"Aloha" my dear - my apologies for my tardy reply. I'm too busy for FS at the moment, but just popped on the other day and say your kind review. Replied to it. But - duh - FS new format - didn't save it!!! thank you so much!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Janet7053
I am drawn in by the imagery you create. I'm there next to her chair drinking in the beautiful garden. May the son believe his beliefs and doubt his doubts about his mother getting better. Hold on to the hope, don't just sit and wait for healing to happen...make it happen.
This is wonderful!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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I am drawn in by the imagery you create. I'm there next to her chair drinking in the beautiful garden. May the son believe his beliefs and doubt his doubts about his mother getting better. Hold on to the hope, don't just sit and wait for healing to happen...make it happen.
This is wonderful!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2015
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"Aloha" Janet - thank you so much for your review! (And your lovely sixer!) My apologies for being so late in replying. The new FS format is confusing and I forgot to 'save' my reply apparently. Ooops!
Blessings - hope to be back in a couple of months. I miss writing and I miss my FS friends!
:) Sharyn
Comment from OceanCat11
This story was just as the title says. Beautiful.
So well written. I couldn't stop reading. The men, wonderful rich characters, both wanting so much to make it all right again.
Great story.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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This story was just as the title says. Beautiful.
So well written. I couldn't stop reading. The men, wonderful rich characters, both wanting so much to make it all right again.
Great story.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2014
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Oh bless you, my dear, for loving this special story of mine! I'm not on Fanstory much at the moment as I'm doing my other passion - theatre! But I will be back. I'm n
Comment from Dom G Robles
Congratulations my dear. This is fiction (you wrote) but it's very real. You pictured a son as one of the characters, but I noticed that you are a female. I thought it would have been more poignant if the other character were a female. A female's voice and attachment to a mother, I suppose, is deeper... The impact, I suppose, would be better, a father, daughter, and a mother. But, anyway, though this was posted way back, I find it very touching, the work of a very skilled writer that is you! Congratulations.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
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Congratulations my dear. This is fiction (you wrote) but it's very real. You pictured a son as one of the characters, but I noticed that you are a female. I thought it would have been more poignant if the other character were a female. A female's voice and attachment to a mother, I suppose, is deeper... The impact, I suppose, would be better, a father, daughter, and a mother. But, anyway, though this was posted way back, I find it very touching, the work of a very skilled writer that is you! Congratulations.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
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Well what a sweetheart you are, Dom. I write so much about mother/daughter relationships that I wanted to try writing from another perspective - but, as ever, food for thought. I'm delighted that you found this one! Sorry for my delay - I'm hardly on at the moment!
:)Sharyn
Comment from angelajfrank
That is so pretty that I would read it over and over again. Please it was a good short story that I would read. does make good since. You need to take your time and have your book published like what i'm doing. My book that is based on my life.
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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That is so pretty that I would read it over and over again. Please it was a good short story that I would read. does make good since. You need to take your time and have your book published like what i'm doing. My book that is based on my life.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
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oh bless you Angela, I'm so glad you found this one! I did it round New Year's and not many people found it - it's one of my favorites!
How are you publishing your book??? Amazon??? I'm always interested to know how people go about getting their work published, my dear - thank you! And thank you also for that wonderful six - I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. (You might also like "I Knew It" if you get a chance ... and oldie but a good one!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from wordsmatter2me
I now know after reading this short story of the beautiful relationship a husband has with his disabled wife as compared to the relationship a daughter has with her Mom. Each paragraph based on this true story I wanted to end with a miracle of total healing. Yet in the stage of her health I love that she is so beautiful.I like that I have an opportunity to read more of your most recognized writings.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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I now know after reading this short story of the beautiful relationship a husband has with his disabled wife as compared to the relationship a daughter has with her Mom. Each paragraph based on this true story I wanted to end with a miracle of total healing. Yet in the stage of her health I love that she is so beautiful.I like that I have an opportunity to read more of your most recognized writings.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2014
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Bless you for your lovely review my dear, and for your lovely six - so much, much appreciated.
hugs
Sharyn
Comment from rama devi
What an inspiring story and characters, too!
Very touching and well narrated. Although there is a tendency to over TELL some of the back-story, it is done with such strong POV and passion and swift pacing, that the reader can't help but be drawn into the story. Excellent POV and a touching scene and ending. The heat grows wider and eyes moist. Bravo!
That it is true, too, is awesome! Though at first it was confusing that you're a SON. ;)
I've mentioned before how I've noticed you like to write as if a script in a dramatic stage-monologue, (and you're an adept when it comes to that--it's a forte of yours--one to be admired and enjoyed, for sure--and I DO!)
As I know you value honesty from me, here it is: The telling aspect makes the reader aware of being told a bunch of back-story and information about the characters. It would be optima to weave it into a scene so they are drawn into the scene more organically. However, your story does do a great job of drawing the reader into the POV of your protagonist using internal dialog most effectively.
Notes:
* his unstoppable (')quest to know(') drives me nuts,
* As an ADD kid I was always buzzing around like a bee in a bottle at school.
I may be mistaken (as it's midnight and mind is fuzzy) but I think the lack of commas in this sentence means the bees are buzzing in a bottle AT SCHOOL. I know they have spelling bees at school, but not buzzing ones... *wink*
Suggest:
As an ADD kid I was always buzzing around, like a bee in a bottle, at school.
* The room is huge, warm and wood-paneled(,) with more books than most county libraries could offer.
I can see why this garnered so many sixes, as the emotional content is rich and appealing. I can small those roses and the silent fragrance of love that permeates the garden's energy too.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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What an inspiring story and characters, too!
Very touching and well narrated. Although there is a tendency to over TELL some of the back-story, it is done with such strong POV and passion and swift pacing, that the reader can't help but be drawn into the story. Excellent POV and a touching scene and ending. The heat grows wider and eyes moist. Bravo!
That it is true, too, is awesome! Though at first it was confusing that you're a SON. ;)
I've mentioned before how I've noticed you like to write as if a script in a dramatic stage-monologue, (and you're an adept when it comes to that--it's a forte of yours--one to be admired and enjoyed, for sure--and I DO!)
As I know you value honesty from me, here it is: The telling aspect makes the reader aware of being told a bunch of back-story and information about the characters. It would be optima to weave it into a scene so they are drawn into the scene more organically. However, your story does do a great job of drawing the reader into the POV of your protagonist using internal dialog most effectively.
Notes:
* his unstoppable (')quest to know(') drives me nuts,
* As an ADD kid I was always buzzing around like a bee in a bottle at school.
I may be mistaken (as it's midnight and mind is fuzzy) but I think the lack of commas in this sentence means the bees are buzzing in a bottle AT SCHOOL. I know they have spelling bees at school, but not buzzing ones... *wink*
Suggest:
As an ADD kid I was always buzzing around, like a bee in a bottle, at school.
* The room is huge, warm and wood-paneled(,) with more books than most county libraries could offer.
I can see why this garnered so many sixes, as the emotional content is rich and appealing. I can small those roses and the silent fragrance of love that permeates the garden's energy too.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 15-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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aah, but I said "based" on a true story, rd, yes? and yes, it does seem that I've stuck myself with the "Storyteller"/script style in my stories. I don't think I'm much of a fiction writer - everything has to be rooted somewhere in real experience for me - thus, I guess, the strange style I've developed because the pov, no matter what, is 'me/ the Storyteller' ... guess I'll have to write some more one woman shows ... thx for your comma catches - got a chuckle out of the bee in a bottle though that WAS in fact my intention, a bee in a bottle at school ... that was sweet of you to review when I know you must be cross-eyed!
:)S
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Thank sweetie! I was cross eyed but because of adrenal fatigue hormonal issues, my memory glitches and I figured I might forget if I left it for tomorrow. I totally enjoy your monologue style, by the way. It's interesting and holds my attention. I think focusing on scripts is a good idea, though there may be a market for monologue stories, too, as the FS consensus in your reviews is that this should win! ;) You're a gifted storyTELLER!
I did wonder if you meant the bee to be in a bottle at school (he he he)
Love,
rd
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Sharon,
I can't comprehend that another story could win over this one. it was simply astounding. One of your best and most touching stories--Ted
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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Dear Sharon,
I can't comprehend that another story could win over this one. it was simply astounding. One of your best and most touching stories--Ted
Comment Written 15-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2014
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oh I'm so glad you liked this one, Ted!!! Thank you so much for your wonderful six!
Blessings,
Sharyn
