Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "CHAPTER SEVENTEEN, PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
53 total reviews
Comment from lindalcreel
Looks like Cash got lucky by running into that dog. Sometimes the older generation who remember stories of slavery, have a better understanding of secrets than the newer generation of people. I think this old man is going to have lots of information and some pie and ice cream seems like a fair trade to me.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Looks like Cash got lucky by running into that dog. Sometimes the older generation who remember stories of slavery, have a better understanding of secrets than the newer generation of people. I think this old man is going to have lots of information and some pie and ice cream seems like a fair trade to me.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
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So very welcome:)
Comment from chasennov
SAVANNAH LOVE. 'Chapter Seventeen - Part One.' This is an excellent chapter you have penned here as well, Barbara. I marvel at your narrative, and find your formulation well executed. You simply are a good writer.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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SAVANNAH LOVE. 'Chapter Seventeen - Part One.' This is an excellent chapter you have penned here as well, Barbara. I marvel at your narrative, and find your formulation well executed. You simply are a good writer.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
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You are very welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. Another fine chapter. Were I you, I would use the same picture that you have here for the entire book. It looks just right somehow. Great images like:
"The sun still peeked over the horizon as Cash parked the old Chevy on the gravel street. He and Billy Joe leaned against the car's hood. Billy Joe removed his toothpick. "We won't have light much longer. Where to from here?"
And: "On the fifth trip back and forth on what looked like the main road, an older red-bone hound slumbered closer to the men. Cash knelt down and petted the dog. "Howdy." The dog nuzzled his head closer. Cash laughed. "I see you like attention." He took both hands and rubbed each side of the hound's neck. "Oh! You like that, uh?"
Suggestions: "Paige glanced up and wrinkled her nose" (Not to say she couldn't do this, however it is not really that "visible" to the reader...How about "Paige glanced up and rolled her eyes?"
Great write, Barb. Bob
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Hi, Barb. Another fine chapter. Were I you, I would use the same picture that you have here for the entire book. It looks just right somehow. Great images like:
"The sun still peeked over the horizon as Cash parked the old Chevy on the gravel street. He and Billy Joe leaned against the car's hood. Billy Joe removed his toothpick. "We won't have light much longer. Where to from here?"
And: "On the fifth trip back and forth on what looked like the main road, an older red-bone hound slumbered closer to the men. Cash knelt down and petted the dog. "Howdy." The dog nuzzled his head closer. Cash laughed. "I see you like attention." He took both hands and rubbed each side of the hound's neck. "Oh! You like that, uh?"
Suggestions: "Paige glanced up and wrinkled her nose" (Not to say she couldn't do this, however it is not really that "visible" to the reader...How about "Paige glanced up and rolled her eyes?"
Great write, Barb. Bob
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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I thought about rolling her eyes, first. I should have went with my first instinct. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from abbasjoy
Some people need booze to talk, but I love Clyde Washington, he only wants pie, ice cream and coffee.
Just maybe Cash and Billy Joe might be getting somewhere. I hope so, because too many people are getting hurt. They certainly some answers.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Some people need booze to talk, but I love Clyde Washington, he only wants pie, ice cream and coffee.
Just maybe Cash and Billy Joe might be getting somewhere. I hope so, because too many people are getting hurt. They certainly some answers.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. I am one of the strange people in the world so I don't include alcohol in my books. I did in the last one, but only for the bad guys.
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You are one of the wise ones, I would say, not strange at all.
Blessings
abbasjoy
Comment from NaughtieScribe
we can finish the conversation into the parlor. - into the parlor, or in the parlor.
Okay this scene has a lot of color (no pun intended). And the fact that Clyde is willing to give up info. for pie and ice cream seems too perfectly southern sweet.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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we can finish the conversation into the parlor. - into the parlor, or in the parlor.
Okay this scene has a lot of color (no pun intended). And the fact that Clyde is willing to give up info. for pie and ice cream seems too perfectly southern sweet.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent post. You keep the action going and advancing the story. Cash and Billy Joe's visit to the black neighborhood seems to produce results, whereas the police have been pretty much hopeless. They find an old man who knows about Paige and the haunted house, and he might be able to add more about a treasure. Like the ending that peach pie with ice cream would help him talk. Excellent description of the man and the dog. Dialogue sounds authentic. judi
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Excellent post. You keep the action going and advancing the story. Cash and Billy Joe's visit to the black neighborhood seems to produce results, whereas the police have been pretty much hopeless. They find an old man who knows about Paige and the haunted house, and he might be able to add more about a treasure. Like the ending that peach pie with ice cream would help him talk. Excellent description of the man and the dog. Dialogue sounds authentic. judi
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate hearing from you.
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Hi, Barbara. Excellent work with your novel. Here's wishing you best of luck with it in 2014. judi
Comment from DRG24
This, as always, is a great story. I really enjoyed the characterization of Cash. Also, I love the dialogue. It is so well-written I feel like I can actually hear them talk!!!!!!
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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This, as always, is a great story. I really enjoyed the characterization of Cash. Also, I love the dialogue. It is so well-written I feel like I can actually hear them talk!!!!!!
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Curly Girly
This chapter read well, apart from this one sentence:
The man eyed Billy Joe. "Ya don't like dogs?"
To the reader (and surely to the man too), it is obvious that Billy does like dogs, because he is patting the dog's neck, and he asked for its name. A person who dislikes dogs does not behave in this manner, they tend not to touch dogs, and certainly won't care about learning its name.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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This chapter read well, apart from this one sentence:
The man eyed Billy Joe. "Ya don't like dogs?"
To the reader (and surely to the man too), it is obvious that Billy does like dogs, because he is patting the dog's neck, and he asked for its name. A person who dislikes dogs does not behave in this manner, they tend not to touch dogs, and certainly won't care about learning its name.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Cash was petting the dog. Billy Joe was standing and not touching the dog. You have the characters mixed up. Clyde was talking to Billy Joe then. Thank you for the kind review.
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Okay, thanks.
Comment from Writingfundimension
This looks to be a fine lead-in chapter to another adventure. I like the Washington character already, Barbara. He sure comes cheap! Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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This looks to be a fine lead-in chapter to another adventure. I like the Washington character already, Barbara. He sure comes cheap! Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review. Who could not like a man who enjoys peach pie and ice cream?
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For sure! You're very welcome, Barbara. :0)
Comment from Cajungirl
This is excellent, as usual, I enjoyed the read. Chapter 17 part 1, leaves me waiting for Part 2. I wonder what Clyde has to tell. Thanks for sharing I look forward to part 2 of the chapter.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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This is excellent, as usual, I enjoyed the read. Chapter 17 part 1, leaves me waiting for Part 2. I wonder what Clyde has to tell. Thanks for sharing I look forward to part 2 of the chapter.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2014
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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U R welcome
