Reviews from

Savannah Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "CHAPTER SEVENTEEN, PART ONE"
Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?

53 total reviews 
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where cash and billy joe decide to take a venture to a different part of the city to find out some information. i enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. It's a pleasure to hear from you.
Comment from *insert a username*
Excellent
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After reading this I instantly can see all the characters, how they feel etc, so you have many factors that make up a person, like the language they use or what verbs are there after their speech. I also think that you set the environment well. :D

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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Cash was lucky coming across the dog.
Mmmm - Trading pie and ice cream for
information from the elderly man seems
a good exchange to me.


Just one minor thing
finish the conversation into the parlor. - IN the parlor


A most enjoyable read, Barbara.

Margaret

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Made the correction. I have no clue what I was thinking. Thank you for the help.
Comment from JM daSilva
Excellent
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"You seem to be one accident(- prone lady. Maybe you need a better class of friends." Marc Davis in the eyes. "Any ideas on how to find out if the treasure chest's real?" (maybe ask the ghost?)
have their own justice system and (use twice don't take too kindly to) the police. I'm going "Remember that old, rusted, two-door Chevy(remove ,) (that) my brother(remove ,) Colt was
Cash continued until a gray-haired man walked part-way(partway) onto the gravel road. Cash
Clyde tapped his thigh(, and Dog stood beside him. "What kind of things? I know the place is haunted(, and there's a pretty Yankee livin' there."
The old man wiped his lips with a (no hyphen dark-blue) handkerchief. "I might be able to help
It seems the talk will go easier than they expected. Good dialogue.

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
    I was beginning to think I was never going to get these corrections made. Every time I tried I was interrupted. Finally, I made it. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by JM daSilva on 21-Jan-2014
    Welcome. I'll be absent for a while, but I'll be back.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
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Now things are really beginning to move. I love the new location. You managed to weave in a sense of history - almost a mystical feel to this old neighborhood. I can't wait to hear what Clyde has to say after he's enjoyed his peach pie.

Way to build intrigue, Barbara. A very nice touch bringing the descendants of slaves into the story.

Av


 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara,

The ending here sounds helpful, assuming our two can get out of the 'hood' again ... and it seems the Detective is beginning to see the light regarding his duty and where his loyalties lie.

Excellent chapter, I really enjoyed it.

Patrick

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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I fell in love with Savannah while on vacation there. It has to be the most haunted place on earth or a close second. I am also drawn to old houses so I look forward to reading your book, "Savannah Love". You have a wonderful, relaxed writing style. The characters feel real. You must let us know when it is published.

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    When we were stationed in GA, my husband and I would vacation in Savannah. I loved it, so decided to write a story. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by seaglass on 14-Jan-2014
    You are welcome
Comment from CALLAHANMR
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Hi Barbara:)
As usual, I enjoy the atmosphere surrounding Paige's mansion and the ongoing possibility of a hidden treasure, but Detective Davis seems to have little interest in the possibility and suggests that a 'colored neighborhood' could have some old-timers, who might remember some ols tales. In any case, Savis' obvious racial prejudice indicates that the police will offer no additional help.

I have several minor comments:

1. "While the doc takes care of Paige, we can finish the conversation [into ==> in] the parlor." {You would do something 'in' the parlor, but you would go 'into' the parlor.}

2. Dr. Marc Henderson once again seems more interested in winning Paige;s affection than in treating her minor injuries.

3. The old man wiped his lips with a dark-blue handkerchief. "I might be able to help ya if there was some of Molly's peach pie and a big scoop of 'nilla ice cream on it with a cup of coffee." {Clyde Washington's request seem great, except where are Cash and Billy Joe going to find food and drink where they are. Perhaps Clyde could have been sitting outside a small cafe.}

I like your use of dialect. Love and Irish Hugs for more.

Roger




 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from emrpoems
Excellent
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An enjoyable read with a lot about the local folklore and superstitions. Have not read all the chapters but hope to do so hereafter. Found this to be very interesting

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I've managed to get way behind again and now I'm trying to catch up on my favorite writer's stories. I've read the ones I missed of yours but I'll only comment on the one that is still active. You've got a great tale going here and I'm enjoying it thoroughly. I like reading about the folklore and the superstitions of the locals. I'm sure you are right that racial prejudice is still very much alive in the South. I can't wait to find out what the boys learn from this old man when they take he out for pie and coffee.

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2014


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
    Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.