The Santa-Man
An elevator story--but not for the contest.37 total reviews
Comment from Spiritual Echo
There you go, you have a story ready for a publisher one year in advance--what amazing strategic planning.
Outstanding, what else is there to say? A unique and delightful Christmas story.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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There you go, you have a story ready for a publisher one year in advance--what amazing strategic planning.
Outstanding, what else is there to say? A unique and delightful Christmas story.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Yipes! I'm a strategic planner? Wait'll the guys find out!
You do make a good point, Ingrid. Thank you. I'm really delighted you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
A very valuable lesson to be taught in this story, my friend. Never judge a book by its cover. Loved the bantering between the two characters. Also found one problem:
Holy shi . . . ttake mushrooms on noodles.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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A very valuable lesson to be taught in this story, my friend. Never judge a book by its cover. Loved the bantering between the two characters. Also found one problem:
Holy shi . . . ttake mushrooms on noodles.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Schalk. It seems every time I start two characters talking, they tech me a lesson! And thanks for the shiitake alert. Peace, Lee
Comment from GWHARGIS
You did fine with the telephone conversation being in italics. I liked the relationship moving along mainly due to the conversation. I could picture a black and white style Santa and ta techni-color teenager. This was some good stuff.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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You did fine with the telephone conversation being in italics. I liked the relationship moving along mainly due to the conversation. I could picture a black and white style Santa and ta techni-color teenager. This was some good stuff.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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I like the idea of the characters being differentiated by black & white and technicolor. Thanks for a great idea, and a great review. Peace, Lee
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This was a marvelous read! Too bad it is not in the contest for it is surely a winner. It was extremely well written and the dialog was just perfection. The exchanges were relaxed and just what one hears every day between the younger and the older generation. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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This was a marvelous read! Too bad it is not in the contest for it is surely a winner. It was extremely well written and the dialog was just perfection. The exchanges were relaxed and just what one hears every day between the younger and the older generation. Thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Mystic Angel. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from kiwisteveh
So, no Santa ex machine - just a lowly Principal moonlighting in a Santa suit.
You attempt one of the trickiest of things, here - getting into the mind of a child, pulling that off with wit and inventiveness.
Your usual clever dialogue keeps this crackling along.
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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So, no Santa ex machine - just a lowly Principal moonlighting in a Santa suit.
You attempt one of the trickiest of things, here - getting into the mind of a child, pulling that off with wit and inventiveness.
Your usual clever dialogue keeps this crackling along.
Steve
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Steve. I'm glad I was able to pull of the 'kid' thing. On the other hand, that might say something else about me. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from barkingdog
The phone conversation didn't slow the read. It looks fine to me. Ellipses indicate pauses while he's listening.
This boy was very fortunate to be trapped with the Muckiest Mucky Muck at his school next term who knows how clever the kid really is. They're two of a kind, actually. LOL
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reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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The phone conversation didn't slow the read. It looks fine to me. Ellipses indicate pauses while he's listening.
This boy was very fortunate to be trapped with the Muckiest Mucky Muck at his school next term who knows how clever the kid really is. They're two of a kind, actually. LOL
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Ellen. I wrote those phone lines four different ways, and I'm still convinced someone is going to gig me. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
Recently at a local restaurant, A patron tried to pay his bill with twenty $2.00. The clerk called the police, saying the man was trying to past counterfeit money. This is very well written. Very good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Recently at a local restaurant, A patron tried to pay his bill with twenty $2.00. The clerk called the police, saying the man was trying to past counterfeit money. This is very well written. Very good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2013
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Thank you, Charlie. The guy really had twenty two-dollar bills?
Methinks he broke into his piggy bank. I might see one two-dollar bill every five years. But I do keep one in my wallet.
Glad you enjoyed, Charlie. Peace, Lee
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Lee go to any bank and ask for a packet of two dollar bills. If they don't have it, they can order it for you. You're welcome.
