Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 69 "CHAPTER FIFTEEN; PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
58 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I noticed there were already some little fixes suggested by another reviewer, so I would just point out that where it says "Back at Ma' Jones' my coffee mug" doesn't need an apostrophe after Ma. I like the way you include little actions and believable dialogue. So very readable!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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I noticed there were already some little fixes suggested by another reviewer, so I would just point out that where it says "Back at Ma' Jones' my coffee mug" doesn't need an apostrophe after Ma. I like the way you include little actions and believable dialogue. So very readable!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Good fast paced dialog with strong diction that enhances characterization as well as a sense of place.
noticed just two nits:
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"Paige's ex-fianc©?"
a copyright symbol snuck in that word!
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Cash walked over to a shaded area and searched for Bart's phone number then pressed dial.
suggest shifting the AND:
Cash walked over to a shaded area,searched for Bart's phone number, and then pressed dial.
Cannot really comment on plot development as I've not read all chapters and this is a short chapter section, but the closing is a good hook,leaving the reader wondering...
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Good fast paced dialog with strong diction that enhances characterization as well as a sense of place.
noticed just two nits:
*
"Paige's ex-fianc©?"
a copyright symbol snuck in that word!
*
Cash walked over to a shaded area and searched for Bart's phone number then pressed dial.
suggest shifting the AND:
Cash walked over to a shaded area,searched for Bart's phone number, and then pressed dial.
Cannot really comment on plot development as I've not read all chapters and this is a short chapter section, but the closing is a good hook,leaving the reader wondering...
Love,
rd
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I have fixed fiancé until I am blue in the face. EE wants the copyright there, so it will stay. I fixed the other sentence.
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Evil eddie can be stubborn...I know! *wink* Love, rd
Comment from Catieogrady
I thought this was good!I hadn't read any of the other chapters only this was and I was drawn in by what was happening!I hope to read more chapters in the future!Great Job!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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I thought this was good!I hadn't read any of the other chapters only this was and I was drawn in by what was happening!I hope to read more chapters in the future!Great Job!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
This is another high suspense chapter. I can't help but wonder whether Cash will be implicated in the death of Paige's ex-fiance, especially since he was out all night with no alibi. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next post.
Curtis
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Barbara,
This is another high suspense chapter. I can't help but wonder whether Cash will be implicated in the death of Paige's ex-fiance, especially since he was out all night with no alibi. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next post.
Curtis
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I so enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Nevermore713
I love the idea behind your work. It sounds as though this will be a very beautiful and romantic story when you have finished. Thanks for sharing!-nevermore713
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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I love the idea behind your work. It sounds as though this will be a very beautiful and romantic story when you have finished. Thanks for sharing!-nevermore713
Comment Written 14-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Zinnia48
This is my first reading of this book, and I enjoyed it very much. I don't have a clue what's going on, but your writing voice is so clear that it didn't matter. You have a gift for dialogue! Caroline
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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This is my first reading of this book, and I enjoyed it very much. I don't have a clue what's going on, but your writing voice is so clear that it didn't matter. You have a gift for dialogue! Caroline
Comment Written 13-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Barb. What wonderful writing. Yu have such a good writing voice and your descriptions are right on. Great cliff-hanging ending too, Barb. Bob
Suggestion: "After Cash explained everything that had happened last night, (do you mean "After Cash explained everything that happened the night before or previous night?
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Hi, Barb. What wonderful writing. Yu have such a good writing voice and your descriptions are right on. Great cliff-hanging ending too, Barb. Bob
Suggestion: "After Cash explained everything that had happened last night, (do you mean "After Cash explained everything that happened the night before or previous night?
Comment Written 13-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I mean earlier that same evening. I will recheck that area.
Comment from Gregt46
You're right, I really have no idea what's going on but must give you credit for "painting the picture" aptly. You are obviously adept at creating a feel for the story through detailed descriptions without seeming boring and long winded. I am intrigued to read more and put a few pieces of the rest of the story together. Good job in my opinion, Greg
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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You're right, I really have no idea what's going on but must give you credit for "painting the picture" aptly. You are obviously adept at creating a feel for the story through detailed descriptions without seeming boring and long winded. I am intrigued to read more and put a few pieces of the rest of the story together. Good job in my opinion, Greg
Comment Written 13-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jade Lawson
This was a good chapter. So Paige's ex was killed; Cash went out, hopefully there won't be problems, but I think they are away from each other, aren't they?
I think Cash is very insecure towards Paige's feelings for him. I wonder what Cash heard over the phone.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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This was a good chapter. So Paige's ex was killed; Cash went out, hopefully there won't be problems, but I think they are away from each other, aren't they?
I think Cash is very insecure towards Paige's feelings for him. I wonder what Cash heard over the phone.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. Cash feels he has no chance to win Paige over.
Comment from Royce Reed
Thank you so much for writing this piece. I really enjoyed it. And I hope I run into more of your work. You write quite beautifully. Thank you again. _ Royce
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you so much for writing this piece. I really enjoyed it. And I hope I run into more of your work. You write quite beautifully. Thank you again. _ Royce
Comment Written 13-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
