Reviews from

Savannah Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "CHAPTER 14: PART THREE"
Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?

70 total reviews 
Comment from Rondeno
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This installment is 1,500 words long. And what happens? They think about what they might see in Atlanta, they enjoy a cheeseburger, they go to the game. And this is Chapter 66.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    And your point is???????? It fits in perfectly with the rest of the story.
reply by Rondeno on 20-Oct-2013
    Exactly. My point is, your story is exceedingly long and devoid of incident.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    I respectively disagree with you. It has a point and many incidences have happened.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where they make it to atlanta and do some sightseeing. paige gives marypat and billy joe a room to themselves so they could have a second honeymoon. cash kisses paige but then leaves the room saying its not right

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Thank you for the kind review. I am wondering myself what Cash's problem is.
reply by sweetwoodjax on 20-Oct-2013
    he might have to go to the drugstore, lol, if you know what i mean
reply by sweetwoodjax on 20-Oct-2013
    he might have to go to the drugstore, lol, if you know what i mean
Comment from lindalcreel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was an excellent read, but I wonder why Cash pulled away from Paige. Is he afraid of her? I thought they were getting along so well. It wasn't a good idea leaving her in the hotel room alone. Something could happen and he would never forgive himself. Can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Thank you for the kind review. I am wondering myself what Cash's problem is.
reply by lindalcreel on 20-Oct-2013
    Welcome:)
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cash left the room! It would be a difficult situation since he is obviously very attracted to her. Now we have a whole week to wait and see what's happening?! Oh my goodness. God loves you and so do we.

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Thank you for the kind review. I am wondering myself what Cash's problem is.
Comment from Lily Y
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I thought this was carried out really nicely. The progression of the plot was upbeat and easy to follow. You laid it out nicely for the reader to enjoy. I hope to continue reading your work. Please consider my comments. Keep writing!-Lily

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 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Usually when I receive four stars my reviewer tells me what I need to correct to get five stars. I have no idea what needs to be correct. Welcome to FS.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barb
I don't like of how all of a sudden Cash left. What irked him he took off without saying where he was going

As you said in your notes this chapter was not intended to be like a Travel Log.

Gert

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    I am not sure why Cash left myself. I have a feeling we are missing something. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Seems like Paige has really splashed out on this trip, I just hope it gets the result she wants - apart from the little set-back now with Cash trying to be the gentleman.

A good chapter, it certainly gives a feel for the city of Atlanta.

Patrick

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    I'm being to worry about Cash. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Patrick G Cox on 20-Oct-2013
    He needs to sort his heart and his principles out ...

    Patrick
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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I love the line about saving money on the aquarium. LOL
I agree with your author notes - this is not a story about the hall of fame museum or the aquarium. You could make this section into a three chapter travelogue, but that would just be a huge sidetrack in the story line. I think you did a great job of showing just enough.
Good dialogue throughout.
I like how uncomfortable Cash is with the idea of sharing a room with Paige - it demonstrates effectively just how tempting she is to him while he is trying to remain a gentleman :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Thank you for catching the about Cash trying to be a gentleman and being attracted to Paige. Some reviewers have not caught on.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
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"I've been a Braves fan (Brave's fan -- I think)
Also with Brave's players

A good chapter and they made there. A somewhat touchy situation with roommates. Sounds like maybe this is headed for a conclusion. Thanks for sharing~Debbie

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    It is getting closer to a conclusion. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nreve
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really liked this one! I had just finished writing to a really close female friend about our relationship to each other. This story fit right in! NREVE

 Comment Written 20-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 20-Oct-2013
    Thank you for the kind review.