Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 66 "CHAPTER 14: PART THREE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
70 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
This is the first chapter of this story that I've read, and though it isn't necessarily my type of story, I thought it was well writ, and I didn't spot any SPAG issues. I thought the dialogue was realistic, though Billy Joe sounds like a hick, and an asshole. Pardon my french. Anyways, I think that the inclusion of the sight seeing not only promotes the city of Hotlanta, but lends a sense of realism and credibility to your story. Great work on this chapter, thanks for sharing, I'll try to check out the other chapters and read futures ones.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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This is the first chapter of this story that I've read, and though it isn't necessarily my type of story, I thought it was well writ, and I didn't spot any SPAG issues. I thought the dialogue was realistic, though Billy Joe sounds like a hick, and an asshole. Pardon my french. Anyways, I think that the inclusion of the sight seeing not only promotes the city of Hotlanta, but lends a sense of realism and credibility to your story. Great work on this chapter, thanks for sharing, I'll try to check out the other chapters and read futures ones.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from unimatrix001
There is being respectful, and there is just plain scared. Cash is acting a bit ridiculous by leaving.
Paige registered the group and asked for a limousine to pick them up at five o'clock.
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Paige watched. "What time did the guys say to be ready?"
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The limousine should be waiting. Off to the Hall of Fame museum."
-What happened to the hours they were going to have to go site seeing and eat lunch? And how did Paige not know what time to meet the boys when she is the one who put in the reservation for the limo?
I can't imagine anything going wrong. - Now I know something is going to go wrong...
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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There is being respectful, and there is just plain scared. Cash is acting a bit ridiculous by leaving.
Paige registered the group and asked for a limousine to pick them up at five o'clock.
-
Paige watched. "What time did the guys say to be ready?"
-
The limousine should be waiting. Off to the Hall of Fame museum."
-What happened to the hours they were going to have to go site seeing and eat lunch? And how did Paige not know what time to meet the boys when she is the one who put in the reservation for the limo?
I can't imagine anything going wrong. - Now I know something is going to go wrong...
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I didn't want to waste the readers' with facts that didn't move the story along.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Barbara, you missed an opportunity for some kibitzing here:
After they ate, Billy Joe put his arm around Paige. "That was the best cheeseburger I ever ate." He kissed her cheek.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Paige glanced at her watch. "Want to check into the hotel?"
Cash is a good boy. In fact, Cash is a saint. What's he going to do, sleep in the SUV? LOL
A nice segment, Barbara. I enjoyed my visit to Atlanta with your characters. :) nancy
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Barbara, you missed an opportunity for some kibitzing here:
After they ate, Billy Joe put his arm around Paige. "That was the best cheeseburger I ever ate." He kissed her cheek.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Paige glanced at her watch. "Want to check into the hotel?"
Cash is a good boy. In fact, Cash is a saint. What's he going to do, sleep in the SUV? LOL
A nice segment, Barbara. I enjoyed my visit to Atlanta with your characters. :) nancy
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
This is a nice slice of Atlanta, carefully selected by Paige. Somehow, I think her providing a limousine service might feel a little over the top to Cash I doubt that he could be completely comfortable with Paige's display of wealth.
Although Cash has a good education, he still seems like a country boy socially. Perhaps that explains why he wants to escape from his sophisticated girlfriend before her attire seduced him. More love and Irish Hugs for that costume. Maybe you can share with Cash.
Your scenes in Atlanta seem authentic, but on my only stay there I saw very little, because a tropical storm kept me confined to a hotel on Peachtree Street. What a waste of time.
Roger
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Hi Barbara:)
This is a nice slice of Atlanta, carefully selected by Paige. Somehow, I think her providing a limousine service might feel a little over the top to Cash I doubt that he could be completely comfortable with Paige's display of wealth.
Although Cash has a good education, he still seems like a country boy socially. Perhaps that explains why he wants to escape from his sophisticated girlfriend before her attire seduced him. More love and Irish Hugs for that costume. Maybe you can share with Cash.
Your scenes in Atlanta seem authentic, but on my only stay there I saw very little, because a tropical storm kept me confined to a hotel on Peachtree Street. What a waste of time.
Roger
Comment Written 23-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. My husband was stationed there are a little over a year.
Comment from Mishelly
In this post I really felt the affection these 4 friends have for each other. Their gentle teasing was really fun to read. It's also nice they're finally having some fun after all of the hard work they've been putting into their investigation.
Things are also really heating up between Cash and Paige, but I have a feeling they still have some issues to resolve before they get their happily ever after.
Towards the end of your post, you wrote: Another kiss quickly ensured (ensured needs to be changed to ensued). Once again, I look forward to more :-)
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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In this post I really felt the affection these 4 friends have for each other. Their gentle teasing was really fun to read. It's also nice they're finally having some fun after all of the hard work they've been putting into their investigation.
Things are also really heating up between Cash and Paige, but I have a feeling they still have some issues to resolve before they get their happily ever after.
Towards the end of your post, you wrote: Another kiss quickly ensured (ensured needs to be changed to ensued). Once again, I look forward to more :-)
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I fixed that area.
Comment from TOMORAL
This is excellent writing that leaves the reader wanting more. Cash and Paige definitely are gonna have it all, me thinks. I came of age in Jonesboro, a small suburb outside of Atlanta. Familiar with Stone Mountain and the likes. I thoroughly enjoyed this fine read!
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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This is excellent writing that leaves the reader wanting more. Cash and Paige definitely are gonna have it all, me thinks. I came of age in Jonesboro, a small suburb outside of Atlanta. Familiar with Stone Mountain and the likes. I thoroughly enjoyed this fine read!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jade Lawson
"I can't believe you paid $158.00 to look at fish.".... that was funny :)
I enjoyed their dialogue, it had entertaining moments.
Oh, she tasted the sweetness of Cash's lips. It seemed like the night was going well, but Cash has a problem and stopped.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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"I can't believe you paid $158.00 to look at fish.".... that was funny :)
I enjoyed their dialogue, it had entertaining moments.
Oh, she tasted the sweetness of Cash's lips. It seemed like the night was going well, but Cash has a problem and stopped.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I am a little worried about Cash.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This chapter is well edited barring one error i detected towards the end, where ensued was written as ensured. Very nice ending as usual. kudos
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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This chapter is well edited barring one error i detected towards the end, where ensued was written as ensured. Very nice ending as usual. kudos
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the catch. I appreciate it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I knew your were going to leave me hanging at the end, but I never guessed how. Exactly what every red-blooded American would do. Walk out with a half-naked women kissing us. Yep, should have seen that coming. :-)
Thanks for another chapter!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Well, I knew your were going to leave me hanging at the end, but I never guessed how. Exactly what every red-blooded American would do. Walk out with a half-naked women kissing us. Yep, should have seen that coming. :-)
Thanks for another chapter!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I think Cash has a problem. Don't you?
Comment from Dustybones
Good story even without backtracking. Good dialouge tags where needed.
I have been noticing the sites edit tool is not holding the same font size for some reason. A quick fix is to just highlight everything, edit it all to a given size and hit enter. Cya.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Good story even without backtracking. Good dialouge tags where needed.
I have been noticing the sites edit tool is not holding the same font size for some reason. A quick fix is to just highlight everything, edit it all to a given size and hit enter. Cya.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2013
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Thank you. I will try that.
