COUNTING MY BLESSINGS
We all should occasionally stop and count our blessings60 total reviews
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy,
A vivid account that your writing brought alive.
I lived many years in Africa, and witnessed similar scenes. The memory never goes away.
I guess there is always someone worse off than we are?
Ron
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Hi Smurphy,
A vivid account that your writing brought alive.
I lived many years in Africa, and witnessed similar scenes. The memory never goes away.
I guess there is always someone worse off than we are?
Ron
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Yes, there is. Sadly, poverty is everywhere. I have lived here since 2005 and have seen far too many similar stories.
Comment from humpwhistle
In the first place, Sasha, you don't whine. You report what's happening to you--usually modestly, and with great humor.
Your compassion for the woman, and your thoughtful efforts to help are inspiring. I no you're frustrated that you can't do more, but the thought you put into your generousity
is evident. The food is one thing, but the cane and the cart are something else. She's fortunate ... to have you as a neighbor.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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In the first place, Sasha, you don't whine. You report what's happening to you--usually modestly, and with great humor.
Your compassion for the woman, and your thoughtful efforts to help are inspiring. I no you're frustrated that you can't do more, but the thought you put into your generousity
is evident. The food is one thing, but the cane and the cart are something else. She's fortunate ... to have you as a neighbor.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thank you for your kind words and generous review. This woman has touched my heart and my concern for her grows with every passing day.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You are one of the kindest, most generous people I know, Sasha. Thank you for this reminder that we are indeed blessed with plenty. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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You are one of the kindest, most generous people I know, Sasha. Thank you for this reminder that we are indeed blessed with plenty. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thank you so very much for your generous 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them. this woman has touched my heart and my concern for her grows with every passing day.
Comment from rama devi
wow--what an extraordinary share. One of my favorite stories from you thus far, dear Sasha. It's intensely poignant and also well-portrayed. The tone of compassion running through this opens the reader's hearts. The unbearable circumstances of your nameless old lady do indeed shine the light of perspective on our own minor problems--and to augment our gratitude for what we have.
While I rarely give a six when there are any nits, I have confidence you'll fix at least the spelling typos and wo;; consider the other (optional) suggestion...so six stars in advance. Such a touching and memorable write... made even more poignant and relevant after reading your recent rant the other day! *wink*
This is extraordinarily touching. I am so pleased you have her in your life. Here's an idea for a new gift--pain cream for her arthritis! I'll be happy to pay for it, if required.
NOTES-
*cars and fast moving busses
fast-moving buses (note spelling)
Like this phrasing:
stir the thick sticky layer of dust that settled over everything during the night.
*I stare out my window, feeling shame for invading her privacy.
The reader does not know her HER refers to yet. You need to introduce or describe her before using HER. (IMHO)
How about re-ordering the lines (start with EACH MORNING) and describing her a bit. Example:
Each morning I watch as an old beggar crawls out from the narrow space between the two large buildings across from mine. I stare out my window, feeling shame for invading her privacy. I am not sure when she first appeared, maybe a month ago.
* Other than the busses that run until ten o'clock,
buses
*The next night(,) I bought some warm tamales and a Coke and left them in the spot I knew she would soon be occupying.
*
Last night(,) I left her a paper plate of warm tortillas and cheese and a bottle of orange juice.
Hairs stood on end here:
Tears came to my eyes once more when I saw her make the sign of the cross and say a short prayer before eating her dinner. She picked up the cane and stroked it like it was made of gold. She placed it on the ground, behind her, against the wall to prevent anyone from taking it during the night.
*She is clearly a proud woman and (has) been on her own for a very long time.
Powerful, poignant closing:
I know that one day the old woman will be gone and I will have no idea where she is. I dread that day. She has become a part of my life, and I will worry about her when she is gone. I don't even know her name.
Love this, dear...and YOU
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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wow--what an extraordinary share. One of my favorite stories from you thus far, dear Sasha. It's intensely poignant and also well-portrayed. The tone of compassion running through this opens the reader's hearts. The unbearable circumstances of your nameless old lady do indeed shine the light of perspective on our own minor problems--and to augment our gratitude for what we have.
While I rarely give a six when there are any nits, I have confidence you'll fix at least the spelling typos and wo;; consider the other (optional) suggestion...so six stars in advance. Such a touching and memorable write... made even more poignant and relevant after reading your recent rant the other day! *wink*
This is extraordinarily touching. I am so pleased you have her in your life. Here's an idea for a new gift--pain cream for her arthritis! I'll be happy to pay for it, if required.
NOTES-
*cars and fast moving busses
fast-moving buses (note spelling)
Like this phrasing:
stir the thick sticky layer of dust that settled over everything during the night.
*I stare out my window, feeling shame for invading her privacy.
The reader does not know her HER refers to yet. You need to introduce or describe her before using HER. (IMHO)
How about re-ordering the lines (start with EACH MORNING) and describing her a bit. Example:
Each morning I watch as an old beggar crawls out from the narrow space between the two large buildings across from mine. I stare out my window, feeling shame for invading her privacy. I am not sure when she first appeared, maybe a month ago.
* Other than the busses that run until ten o'clock,
buses
*The next night(,) I bought some warm tamales and a Coke and left them in the spot I knew she would soon be occupying.
*
Last night(,) I left her a paper plate of warm tortillas and cheese and a bottle of orange juice.
Hairs stood on end here:
Tears came to my eyes once more when I saw her make the sign of the cross and say a short prayer before eating her dinner. She picked up the cane and stroked it like it was made of gold. She placed it on the ground, behind her, against the wall to prevent anyone from taking it during the night.
*She is clearly a proud woman and (has) been on her own for a very long time.
Powerful, poignant closing:
I know that one day the old woman will be gone and I will have no idea where she is. I dread that day. She has become a part of my life, and I will worry about her when she is gone. I don't even know her name.
Love this, dear...and YOU
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your detailed critique of this post. Despite finding my glasses, my ability to know where and when to correctly use comas remains a mystery to me. I even took the class. Thank you so much for your awesome 6 stars which I know are as much for this poor woman as for me. It is impossible to help everyone but I have to do what I can, which is sadly, never enough. I made all the corrections and hope that this reads smoother for future reviewers.
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Thanks dear Sasha. It took me a long time to figure out commas, too---and then the wrench in the comma-machinery is that they are sometimes optional and there are also different rules of comma usage in different nations.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh Sasha, my eyes are filled with tears as I read this nonfiction. I know that poverty, have seen it first-hand, and can only say it sickens me to be unable to do much and to see the affluence around me. An amazing write, my friend.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Oh Sasha, my eyes are filled with tears as I read this nonfiction. I know that poverty, have seen it first-hand, and can only say it sickens me to be unable to do much and to see the affluence around me. An amazing write, my friend.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Sadly, I see it everyday. Yet, the very same people are the ones that smile the most, laugh the loudest and have the closest relationships with their families. The ones that end up on the street are usually from out of town and stranded, don't have a family to care for them, or mentally ill. As I say in my notes, Mexico is a very poor country with no social services, homes for the homeless, or food banks. At least that holds true for Mazatlan. But people are amazingly generous and do what they can for those that live on the streets. I am so pleased you liked this one and am sorry it made you cry. Thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them.
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You are most welcome - a truly fabulous write, in my opinion. Stunning description, and evokes so much emotion I think a person would have to be stone not to feel this one. Much respect, my friend.
Comment from jgirlie152
This is a wonderful story of the homeless woman you have been watching, and helping where you believe she allows you. It shows that you have a warm heart and passion for the ones who do not have even the simplest of items to meet their needs.
Very excellent and touching story.
Joan
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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This is a wonderful story of the homeless woman you have been watching, and helping where you believe she allows you. It shows that you have a warm heart and passion for the ones who do not have even the simplest of items to meet their needs.
Very excellent and touching story.
Joan
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Mexico is such a poor country. You are either wealthy or poor, there is very little in between. Sadly, they do not have much in the way of social services, no food banks, and no housing for the homeless. It is a beautiful country but seeing so many poor is difficult and hard to get used to. Thank you so much for your generous review and the stunning 6 stars. I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment from Spitfire
This same idea crossed my mind when I woke up this morning with severe leg pain. I thought of the young war vets who have been injured so young and how they may endure so much more than I. This is a lovely portrait of a homeless person and your efforts to help. She crosses herself thinking she had a guardian angel. You're right. It's too humiliating for her to accept favors outright.
I can see she is obviously --you can delete "obviously"
Beware those -ly words!
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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This same idea crossed my mind when I woke up this morning with severe leg pain. I thought of the young war vets who have been injured so young and how they may endure so much more than I. This is a lovely portrait of a homeless person and your efforts to help. She crosses herself thinking she had a guardian angel. You're right. It's too humiliating for her to accept favors outright.
I can see she is obviously --you can delete "obviously"
Beware those -ly words!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thank for the generous rainbow of stars. I am so pleased you liked this one. I saw her tonight and she looked more tired than usual...if that is actually possible.
Comment from Belinda
Poor woman. Fortunately you are so kind to her, giving her necessities while still taking care of her ego. I also wonder where they go eventually. There was one like her in the market where I occasionally shop. She spent her time mostly sleeping, and one day she was gone. This is interesting and thought provoking, Sasha.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Poor woman. Fortunately you are so kind to her, giving her necessities while still taking care of her ego. I also wonder where they go eventually. There was one like her in the market where I occasionally shop. She spent her time mostly sleeping, and one day she was gone. This is interesting and thought provoking, Sasha.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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They too often die. It is so sad to see them living like this but there is only so much a person can do. I worry about this woman she is so fragile and so very old.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Wow !!!! My truest friend this write brought tears of true
empathetic compassionate concern from my God given windows
feeling the plight of that homeless woman in advanced aged
years though homeless she finds herself pride of individuality still exist extremely strong in her personage
as her demeanor you accurately expressed as pity is the last
thing she wants from anybody for life is breath and true
sweat a character recipe which develops that real inner strength that pushes forever past the troubling of existence
as long as one can always just remember to count ones blessings....This brought true tears of real empathetic concern and love from my eyes....So very well written my
friend so very well written....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
|
Wow !!!! My truest friend this write brought tears of true
empathetic compassionate concern from my God given windows
feeling the plight of that homeless woman in advanced aged
years though homeless she finds herself pride of individuality still exist extremely strong in her personage
as her demeanor you accurately expressed as pity is the last
thing she wants from anybody for life is breath and true
sweat a character recipe which develops that real inner strength that pushes forever past the troubling of existence
as long as one can always just remember to count ones blessings....This brought true tears of real empathetic concern and love from my eyes....So very well written my
friend so very well written....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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Thank you so very much for your deeply moving review. I am sorry I made you cry, but sometimes when I look at her from my window, I also cry. I admire her strength and pray for her every day.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
Wow !!!! My truest friend this write brought tears of true
empathetic compassionate concern from my God given windows
feeling the plight of that homeless woman in advanced aged
years though homeless she finds herself pride of individuality still exist extremely strong in her personage
as her demeanor you accurately expressed as pity is the last
thing she wants from anybody for life is breath and true
sweat a character recipe which develops that real inner strength that pushes forever past the troubling of existence
as long as one can always just remember to count ones blessings....This brought true tears of real empathetic concern and love from my eyes....So very well written my
friend so very well written....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
|
Wow !!!! My truest friend this write brought tears of true
empathetic compassionate concern from my God given windows
feeling the plight of that homeless woman in advanced aged
years though homeless she finds herself pride of individuality still exist extremely strong in her personage
as her demeanor you accurately expressed as pity is the last
thing she wants from anybody for life is breath and true
sweat a character recipe which develops that real inner strength that pushes forever past the troubling of existence
as long as one can always just remember to count ones blessings....This brought true tears of real empathetic concern and love from my eyes....So very well written my
friend so very well written....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 14-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2013
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I thought I answered this one but apparently I didn't click save. Thank you for your very kind words and awesome 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them.
