~Right Down the Drain~
How are your pipes?65 total reviews
Comment from JMUwrites
Wow Dean, what a disturbingly wonderful story you've crafted here...had me hanging on each word throughout the entire piece! The imagery and character development were awesome, and the way you'd described each scene had me feeling as though I were a fly on the wall watching it all transpire! Bravo!
Technically it looks to be spot-on, and the artwork you've employed worked wonderfully in accompaniment!
Thanks for sharing this, and all the best with it going forward!
With warm regards...
JMU
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Wow Dean, what a disturbingly wonderful story you've crafted here...had me hanging on each word throughout the entire piece! The imagery and character development were awesome, and the way you'd described each scene had me feeling as though I were a fly on the wall watching it all transpire! Bravo!
Technically it looks to be spot-on, and the artwork you've employed worked wonderfully in accompaniment!
Thanks for sharing this, and all the best with it going forward!
With warm regards...
JMU
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review, my friend!
Comment from Asyraf N. Jamsari
A very well written piece of writing. Interesting picture you got there, really caught my eyes. Good job with the story line and plot. Nicely constructed events and characters. Keep up the good work
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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A very well written piece of writing. Interesting picture you got there, really caught my eyes. Good job with the story line and plot. Nicely constructed events and characters. Keep up the good work
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thanks very much, Asyraf. I will certainly do my very best!
Comment from elchupakabra
"Jim was fuming now - quotation typo
I was laughing right away because you have perfectly captured the relationship dynamic of my household lol. I'm the one who gets upset and swears a lot, and my girlfriend is always being nice and calming me down lol.
Side note: Weird coincidence, I happened to be listening to Ghost Town by The Vaccines when this I opened the story lol. Give it a listen, it's a great tune. In fact, the whole album is pretty awesome, and their second album featuring Wetsuit is my pick for album of the week this week. Anyways...
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I would give it six skulls, as you are known to do lol. I thought the back and forth between the husband was realisitic, I thought that their murders were convincing and you did a phenomenal job tying in the old murders and building tension with the extra paragraph after the husband dies but before the wife does. I thought the wrapping of the story with the killer plumber was a great twist to explain the sink spirits, and the author's notes give the piece that creepy touch of based on a true story. Fantastic work with this grisly piece, I enjoyed it alot.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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"Jim was fuming now - quotation typo
I was laughing right away because you have perfectly captured the relationship dynamic of my household lol. I'm the one who gets upset and swears a lot, and my girlfriend is always being nice and calming me down lol.
Side note: Weird coincidence, I happened to be listening to Ghost Town by The Vaccines when this I opened the story lol. Give it a listen, it's a great tune. In fact, the whole album is pretty awesome, and their second album featuring Wetsuit is my pick for album of the week this week. Anyways...
I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I would give it six skulls, as you are known to do lol. I thought the back and forth between the husband was realisitic, I thought that their murders were convincing and you did a phenomenal job tying in the old murders and building tension with the extra paragraph after the husband dies but before the wife does. I thought the wrapping of the story with the killer plumber was a great twist to explain the sink spirits, and the author's notes give the piece that creepy touch of based on a true story. Fantastic work with this grisly piece, I enjoyed it alot.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Hah, really? because it's based on how my wife and I get into it sometimes. I usually am the one to get overheated, while she stays calm, cool, and sarcastic, LOL.
Thanks for the fantastic review, elchupakabra!
Comment from Millibrad
Excellent narrative and realistic dialogue moving the story forward with gruesome details.
It bothered me that I didn't see a connection between the events of October 2013 and August 1969 other than dismemberment and plumbing.
I wondered why Frances failed to hear her husband's screams while on the back deck with a door leading to the kitchen.
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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Excellent narrative and realistic dialogue moving the story forward with gruesome details.
It bothered me that I didn't see a connection between the events of October 2013 and August 1969 other than dismemberment and plumbing.
I wondered why Frances failed to hear her husband's screams while on the back deck with a door leading to the kitchen.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thanks, Millibrad. I based her not being able to hear his gurgling upon the layout of our own home. When I'm out on the back deck, if, say, my wife and daughter get into an argument (as teen aged girls and mothers sometimes do), I would not hear a thing. Our house is that well insulated.
As far as the connection, I did include one, its now included.
Thanks again for the fantastic review!
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Dean,
This is such a well-written story, one that grabbed me from the very first sentence. I could see the kitchen and hear the grinding mulching of the garbage disposal. Yuk!
Your note at the end is alarming; just the thought of this animal coming up for parole is terrifying.
There is a great fictional story by Natsuo Kirino, called OUT that might peak your interest. :)
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Hi Dean,
This is such a well-written story, one that grabbed me from the very first sentence. I could see the kitchen and hear the grinding mulching of the garbage disposal. Yuk!
Your note at the end is alarming; just the thought of this animal coming up for parole is terrifying.
There is a great fictional story by Natsuo Kirino, called OUT that might peak your interest. :)
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 13-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2013
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Thank very much, Rosalyne, I appreciate that! I'll check out that story, too...
