Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "CHAPTER 14: PART ONE"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
58 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Great work, Barbara. The stage is carefully being set for an exciting climax.
Spags:
Way in the backwoods (not back woods).
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Great work, Barbara. The stage is carefully being set for an exciting climax.
Spags:
Way in the backwoods (not back woods).
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
An excellent bit, Barbara. Very elegant reminder of who Bart is. You're tying things up nicely in preparation for the climax, but it doesn't feel rushed. The tension is still building. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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An excellent bit, Barbara. Very elegant reminder of who Bart is. You're tying things up nicely in preparation for the climax, but it doesn't feel rushed. The tension is still building. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed getting back into this story. It is interesting that they are inviting a break-in. I guess they the jewels will not be where they can be found. I'm glad your feeing a bit better. It takes a while to get over the loss of a dog. This was so sudden you didn't have time to prepare for that happening.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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I enjoyed getting back into this story. It is interesting that they are inviting a break-in. I guess they the jewels will not be where they can be found. I'm glad your feeing a bit better. It takes a while to get over the loss of a dog. This was so sudden you didn't have time to prepare for that happening.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from AprilShower
This might work. They would have to make sure the security system works and that the cameras are well hidden.
It would be nice if we could read the whole chapter. Divided the way the chapters are, leaves up in the air.
April
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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This might work. They would have to make sure the security system works and that the cameras are well hidden.
It would be nice if we could read the whole chapter. Divided the way the chapters are, leaves up in the air.
April
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
GREAT the image of the photo of a private-eyes! And as usual, a very well written chapter, keeping the suspense around this story.
Please take care my friend. Wonderful job Barbara!
:)
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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GREAT the image of the photo of a private-eyes! And as usual, a very well written chapter, keeping the suspense around this story.
Please take care my friend. Wonderful job Barbara!
:)
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from Tessa Kay
This is my first post of your story, but I really enjoyed reading it. It's lively and moves forward. I also find it very well written. Nice action beats instead of the constant he said, she said.
The dialogue flows well, but I thought you could increase the feel of excitement at hatching a plan by having some
dialogue interrupted. Just as in real life, your characters could throw in their ideas. It would make the read more dynamic yet.
There was only a couple other things I thought you may consider changing if you like:
-Cash released a deep breath - was she holding it while she was speaking?
(I'm double checking my own writing on this now. See how many times I have someone letting out a deep breath right after they speak...)
-"...refuse and then snatch them." Paige clapped her hands..as she said 'snatch'. The sequence of sentences is slightly off. Can you put the hand clapping in as a beat and then continue with the quote?
Hope this was helpful. Very much like your writing and hope to catch the next instalment.
:) Tessa
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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This is my first post of your story, but I really enjoyed reading it. It's lively and moves forward. I also find it very well written. Nice action beats instead of the constant he said, she said.
The dialogue flows well, but I thought you could increase the feel of excitement at hatching a plan by having some
dialogue interrupted. Just as in real life, your characters could throw in their ideas. It would make the read more dynamic yet.
There was only a couple other things I thought you may consider changing if you like:
-Cash released a deep breath - was she holding it while she was speaking?
(I'm double checking my own writing on this now. See how many times I have someone letting out a deep breath right after they speak...)
-"...refuse and then snatch them." Paige clapped her hands..as she said 'snatch'. The sequence of sentences is slightly off. Can you put the hand clapping in as a beat and then continue with the quote?
Hope this was helpful. Very much like your writing and hope to catch the next instalment.
:) Tessa
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I will check those areas.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
At last, Paige and her friends seem to have a workable plan to catch their tormentors red-handed. Maybe then Cash and Paige can stop fooling each other and themseves about their feelings for each other.
A baseball game and overnight stay at an Atlanta hotel should also heat up the romance.
Nice post that moves the story forward and keeps the suspense going.
Roger
Roger
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Hi Barbara:)
At last, Paige and her friends seem to have a workable plan to catch their tormentors red-handed. Maybe then Cash and Paige can stop fooling each other and themseves about their feelings for each other.
A baseball game and overnight stay at an Atlanta hotel should also heat up the romance.
Nice post that moves the story forward and keeps the suspense going.
Roger
Roger
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from pickthorn
Great suspense building in this chapter. Quite an elaborate plan to catch the thieves while Cash and Paige and the girls are at the ball game. Very believable and well written.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Great suspense building in this chapter. Quite an elaborate plan to catch the thieves while Cash and Paige and the girls are at the ball game. Very believable and well written.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from michaelcahill
Lots and lots going on but, still easy to follow. love the trap being set. but, will it work? this is such an easy read. wouldn't mind longer posts in the least. one of those stories that could go on as long as you wish and no one would mind. just so believable. great writing. mike
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Lots and lots going on but, still easy to follow. love the trap being set. but, will it work? this is such an easy read. wouldn't mind longer posts in the least. one of those stories that could go on as long as you wish and no one would mind. just so believable. great writing. mike
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from Bryana
Very interesting! I've been trying to follow the story as much as I can. I'm so curious if the plan is going to work and catch whoever they want to catch. In the meantime they can have some fun at the game. I'll be waiting and see what happens.
Have a wonderful week dear Barbara.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Very interesting! I've been trying to follow the story as much as I can. I'm so curious if the plan is going to work and catch whoever they want to catch. In the meantime they can have some fun at the game. I'll be waiting and see what happens.
Have a wonderful week dear Barbara.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
