Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 63 "Chapter 13, part five"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
59 total reviews
Comment from irishauthorme
Wow, lots of action ! I didn't expect things to get out of hand like that, but hey-you really spiced up your story! Good character portrayal, showing Paige reluctant to discuss her education among people who probably did not get past High School. Paige kept her respect from Cash and his family by the way she presented herself. Very good chapter, satisfying that the good Dr. finally got what was coming to him. irish
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Wow, lots of action ! I didn't expect things to get out of hand like that, but hey-you really spiced up your story! Good character portrayal, showing Paige reluctant to discuss her education among people who probably did not get past High School. Paige kept her respect from Cash and his family by the way she presented herself. Very good chapter, satisfying that the good Dr. finally got what was coming to him. irish
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from DRG24
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! NO I have not ever needed a picture of a confederate ghost so I can imagine!!! Nice work with this!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!! NO I have not ever needed a picture of a confederate ghost so I can imagine!!! Nice work with this!!!!!!!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from chasennov
Savannah Love. 'Chapter Thirteen Part Five.' Another excellent chapter you have penned here. I love your work and look forward to read a lot more. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Savannah Love. 'Chapter Thirteen Part Five.' Another excellent chapter you have penned here. I love your work and look forward to read a lot more. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
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You're most welcome, Barbara. I like that, kind regards.
Comment from writerwish
Great dialogue and scene from this spat they had. It was very realistic and it held my interesrt and was done with clarity. Funny about the crutch though. This still is mysterious in this old home. I like the pic too. Well done.
Irene
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Great dialogue and scene from this spat they had. It was very realistic and it held my interesrt and was done with clarity. Funny about the crutch though. This still is mysterious in this old home. I like the pic too. Well done.
Irene
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
What a dramatic opening scene in this chapter. Well paced action scene. Drew me in. The entire chapter flows swiftly with great ease of read. Good job! Crisp dialog matches the tenor of the scene. Well done.
NOTES-
*
Cash ran in, with Paige on the floor and Dwayne's fist aiming at her head.
Awkward grammar here. Suggest:
Cash ran in to see Paige on the floor and Dwayne's fist aiming at her head.
*
After he read, the detective studied Dwayne(,) and then said,
*Suggestion (not a correction; simply an alternative you might consider:
"I do have one question. Why do you call him Mr. Walker, when he's a doctor?" asked Faye.
"I do have one question, Faye said. "Why do you call him Mr. Walker, when he's a doctor?"
Please read both aloud to decide which sounds best to you.
I like how you use a lot of action tags to describe gestures, etc. Works well to give a good balance between narrative and dialog and also to enhance the visual aspects of the scene and to enhance characterization.
Well done.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
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What a dramatic opening scene in this chapter. Well paced action scene. Drew me in. The entire chapter flows swiftly with great ease of read. Good job! Crisp dialog matches the tenor of the scene. Well done.
NOTES-
*
Cash ran in, with Paige on the floor and Dwayne's fist aiming at her head.
Awkward grammar here. Suggest:
Cash ran in to see Paige on the floor and Dwayne's fist aiming at her head.
*
After he read, the detective studied Dwayne(,) and then said,
*Suggestion (not a correction; simply an alternative you might consider:
"I do have one question. Why do you call him Mr. Walker, when he's a doctor?" asked Faye.
"I do have one question, Faye said. "Why do you call him Mr. Walker, when he's a doctor?"
Please read both aloud to decide which sounds best to you.
I like how you use a lot of action tags to describe gestures, etc. Works well to give a good balance between narrative and dialog and also to enhance the visual aspects of the scene and to enhance characterization.
Well done.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
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I am so sorry it has taken so long for this reply. I needed time to fix the problems. I always apreciate your help.
Comment from barkingdog
Paige has quite an impressive education. I can see why she didn't want to tell about it, thinking it might make a difference to her friends. It doesn't seem to matter to Cash.
Mmmm Bradley swung her crutch at Walker. :) e
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Paige has quite an impressive education. I can see why she didn't want to tell about it, thinking it might make a difference to her friends. It doesn't seem to matter to Cash.
Mmmm Bradley swung her crutch at Walker. :) e
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Yeah Bradley and Cash, two man tag team whooped on that bigoted blowheart Walker. Yippee. (psst, you should have allowed the crutch to strike a little south of the boarder - ;-) lol). This was a very satisfying chapter. Especially when Davis who we know don't like Cash could have used the incident as an excuse to drag Cash in. Love the poetic justice. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Yeah Bradley and Cash, two man tag team whooped on that bigoted blowheart Walker. Yippee. (psst, you should have allowed the crutch to strike a little south of the boarder - ;-) lol). This was a very satisfying chapter. Especially when Davis who we know don't like Cash could have used the incident as an excuse to drag Cash in. Love the poetic justice. Nicely written.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where dwayne received the beating that he deserved and bradley came to the rescue. i love the picture
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where dwayne received the beating that he deserved and bradley came to the rescue. i love the picture
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Just Pete
I am reminded to some extent, of "Gone with the wind". Your characterisation is good and consistent and conjures up the images the way good writing is supposed to. Being a part of the world that I'm not familiar with, lends charm to the story. I shall try to read it all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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I am reminded to some extent, of "Gone with the wind". Your characterisation is good and consistent and conjures up the images the way good writing is supposed to. Being a part of the world that I'm not familiar with, lends charm to the story. I shall try to read it all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2013
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Thank you.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
Another great post. Now even Detective Davis is taking Paige's side against Dwayne Walker's arrogant bullying.
I was surprised to find out about Paige's education which far exceeds her former boss at SCAD. Maybe she can replace Dwayne Walker at SCAD. It would be sweet revenge.
I noted only one error: "Three, French, Spanish, and Italian." Paige's eye remained on her crutch. {Did Paige forget that she spoke English? I count four languages.}
Love and Irish Hugs for this great post.
Roger
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
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Hi Barbara:)
Another great post. Now even Detective Davis is taking Paige's side against Dwayne Walker's arrogant bullying.
I was surprised to find out about Paige's education which far exceeds her former boss at SCAD. Maybe she can replace Dwayne Walker at SCAD. It would be sweet revenge.
I noted only one error: "Three, French, Spanish, and Italian." Paige's eye remained on her crutch. {Did Paige forget that she spoke English? I count four languages.}
Love and Irish Hugs for this great post.
Roger
Comment Written 23-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2013
-
I am so sorry it has taken so long for this reply. I needed time to fix the problems. I always apreciate your help.
