~The World So Blue~
There's so much suffering below...154 total reviews
Comment from Jackarrie
This is a fabulous poem, written from a very deep place, to come up with such brilliance. Fabulous image. The music is beautiful, but to concentrate on your poem I mute it, and then after I will listen, (I hope you don't mind
People don't trust strangers anymore,
they cower in fear behind closed doors.
Old man on the road, they'll surely pass;
assessments have never been so crass.
Homeless lie dying--cold in the street,
babies with not enough food to eat,
children with mom, however, no dad...
Where is the happiness we once had?
So well done, Mary
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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This is a fabulous poem, written from a very deep place, to come up with such brilliance. Fabulous image. The music is beautiful, but to concentrate on your poem I mute it, and then after I will listen, (I hope you don't mind
People don't trust strangers anymore,
they cower in fear behind closed doors.
Old man on the road, they'll surely pass;
assessments have never been so crass.
Homeless lie dying--cold in the street,
babies with not enough food to eat,
children with mom, however, no dad...
Where is the happiness we once had?
So well done, Mary
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Thanks for your wonderful rating and for the exceptional review, Jackarrie. I really appreciate it!
Comment from Rondeno
It's well-written, as your stuff always is - but come on, Dean! Things aren't so bad! And maybe those listless, empty, suffocating Eisenhower days weren't QUITE as sunny as we remember them ...
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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It's well-written, as your stuff always is - but come on, Dean! Things aren't so bad! And maybe those listless, empty, suffocating Eisenhower days weren't QUITE as sunny as we remember them ...
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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I don't know about man kind as a species anymore, Rondeno. I saw all those little children in Syria, blinded and bleeding by chemical weapons...so horrible. Where does it stop? I'll tell you where, at least, where it will end in the US. A nuke in a briefcase, right in the heart of New York City, that's where. It's coming, my friend, mark my words...
Comment from visionary1234
and that, Dean, is why I never watch the news! I love your 'looking down' all encompassing perspective here.
spags:
I fear man kind has lost it's(its) worth--
humanities(humanity's) crying falls like rain...
Homeless lay(lie) dying--cold in the street,
and a suggestion on this one:
Xbox and Wii are more their tastes--
X-box and Wee are more to their taste - would fit better rhythmically and rhyme better?
Your rhythm's a bit irregular in many places - something you might like to work on
but overall, your lovely last verse makes up for the shortcomings - a gorgeous vision, though yes, a sad one.
:)S
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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and that, Dean, is why I never watch the news! I love your 'looking down' all encompassing perspective here.
spags:
I fear man kind has lost it's(its) worth--
humanities(humanity's) crying falls like rain...
Homeless lay(lie) dying--cold in the street,
and a suggestion on this one:
Xbox and Wii are more their tastes--
X-box and Wee are more to their taste - would fit better rhythmically and rhyme better?
Your rhythm's a bit irregular in many places - something you might like to work on
but overall, your lovely last verse makes up for the shortcomings - a gorgeous vision, though yes, a sad one.
:)S
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much, visionary 1234. I do appreciate it!
Comment from S A Bullen
This is a lovely piece of poetry, albeit sadly true. There used to be a comedy show in England many years ago, "Drop the Dead Donkey", which was the story at the end of the news to counteract all the misery. They still try to end on a happy note. There are so many horrible atrocities in the world - I guess you can only look to the beauty around you each day to restore you faith in human nature. The poem combined with the musical accompaniment was really good. Sheryn
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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This is a lovely piece of poetry, albeit sadly true. There used to be a comedy show in England many years ago, "Drop the Dead Donkey", which was the story at the end of the news to counteract all the misery. They still try to end on a happy note. There are so many horrible atrocities in the world - I guess you can only look to the beauty around you each day to restore you faith in human nature. The poem combined with the musical accompaniment was really good. Sheryn
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your very gracious review, Sheryn. It's very much appreciated...
Comment from barkingdog
Hi Dean,
You are right--the news is depressing.
Our world is changing. Poverty increases with over crowding in so many countries. People become discardible.(the homeless, children, elderly, sick/disabled, etc.)
Your rhyming quatrains tell our world's sad story as a spirit might see it as it passes. I love the way you describe the world: 'our world, a tear-filled water balloon.'
alliteration:
-so sad, somehow
-'tis true
Your art in incredible as always a complete package.
one correction:
-humanity's crying
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Hi Dean,
You are right--the news is depressing.
Our world is changing. Poverty increases with over crowding in so many countries. People become discardible.(the homeless, children, elderly, sick/disabled, etc.)
Your rhyming quatrains tell our world's sad story as a spirit might see it as it passes. I love the way you describe the world: 'our world, a tear-filled water balloon.'
alliteration:
-so sad, somehow
-'tis true
Your art in incredible as always a complete package.
one correction:
-humanity's crying
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thanks, BD, and I'll make that correction straight away. I am very grateful for your outstanding review and understanding of my intent...
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You're very welcome. It's sad to see what we once were diminish as every country vies for power over others.
Comment from michaelcahill
I so seldom watch the news anymore. this excellent piece is exactly why. how do we come to any other conclusion? as I read this it more and more started to remind me of Bob Dylan in many of the unique images. beautiful write and amazing presentation. I am lucky to get the type in a different color. ha! take a look at Diana Nyad after swimming from Cuba to Florida at age 64. That will help. best regards, mike
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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I so seldom watch the news anymore. this excellent piece is exactly why. how do we come to any other conclusion? as I read this it more and more started to remind me of Bob Dylan in many of the unique images. beautiful write and amazing presentation. I am lucky to get the type in a different color. ha! take a look at Diana Nyad after swimming from Cuba to Florida at age 64. That will help. best regards, mike
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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I saw photos and articles of her on yahoo. Made it on her third attempt. Quite an amazing feat! Thanks for the wonderful review, michaelcahill. I do appreciate it.
Comment from country ranch writer
The world as we know it has been shattered beyond repair . I am afraid it is the way of the world brought on by man. self destruction lies for us ahead because no one wants to unite ans save the USA. Instead of helping other countries we should sweep around our own door first. We give and give and receive nothing in return.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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The world as we know it has been shattered beyond repair . I am afraid it is the way of the world brought on by man. self destruction lies for us ahead because no one wants to unite ans save the USA. Instead of helping other countries we should sweep around our own door first. We give and give and receive nothing in return.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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So true, country ranch writer. My grandma always liked to use the phrase, "Sweep off your own back porch before you go and try to point out how dirty someone else's is". I couldn't agree more...
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welcome and glad to see you here missed you
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Thanks. We finally got moved in. Now we're just organizing. I had a little spare time, so I thought I'd pop in for a while. It's nice to be missed, that's very kind of you to say so.
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so where did you run off to ? Are you a city dweller?
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No, we just moved into a larger home. We still live in the same area, only about five miles further up the road...
Comment from mfowler
This is a lovely poem balanced nicely by great structure and good rhythm. It's an original view and you've named some really big issues for the generation.I'd ask would our ancestors have been any less worried at the parlous stae of the world if they were making similar observations? You may want to edit "it's worth" to 'its worth' in line 4. I just love your presentation of image and colour scheme. A great read!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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This is a lovely poem balanced nicely by great structure and good rhythm. It's an original view and you've named some really big issues for the generation.I'd ask would our ancestors have been any less worried at the parlous stae of the world if they were making similar observations? You may want to edit "it's worth" to 'its worth' in line 4. I just love your presentation of image and colour scheme. A great read!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much, mfowler, and I will make that correction straight away...
Comment from The Death
There are million of people who suffer daily,more than we can imagine.It makes us realise how insignificant we are towards our society.We must do our little bit.Thought provoking poem with nice rhyming and flow.Explicit and stunning as always.Amazing work
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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There are million of people who suffer daily,more than we can imagine.It makes us realise how insignificant we are towards our society.We must do our little bit.Thought provoking poem with nice rhyming and flow.Explicit and stunning as always.Amazing work
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thanks very much, Anupam Sharma. As always, I appreciate you taking the time to read and give a review of my work.
Comment from Sueellen11
My friend, u nailed it, you captured all the turmoil within this world, but I have my faith and know our saviour cometh, for yes this is a fallen world and its ruler the evil one is having a field day destroying lives, families, but his time is nigh, one excellent write Dean, one we all can relate too, blessings, sueellen
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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My friend, u nailed it, you captured all the turmoil within this world, but I have my faith and know our saviour cometh, for yes this is a fallen world and its ruler the evil one is having a field day destroying lives, families, but his time is nigh, one excellent write Dean, one we all can relate too, blessings, sueellen
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2013
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Thanks so much, Sueellen11, I truly appreciate that. We have to hold out hope. It's key to our survival as a species, I believe. If all hope is lost, then, I fear, we will be lost, too, right along with it. Hope is eternal, it's what keeps us going from day to day.
Thanks again.
