Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 59 "Chapter 13, part 1"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
69 total reviews
Comment from Jade Lawson
"You're telling me a ghost came in and retrieved his hat?"
That was funny. I was just picturing the scene in my head and Cash's expression.
well then you continue with the entertainment all through when considering:
"So the wind blowed the ghost's hat off and you two brought it in. And then he came in and took it back, walking through the door." LOL
And how do they know the ghosts wear clothes? :D
Cash looks for facts, not paranormal events. He doesn't believe it. If we think about the living people, there are so many people interested in Paige's inheritance. Perhaps there is a ghost, but I also believe someone is trying to scare Paige.
the last scene was intriguing.
I love romance with paranormal stuff going on, but I think you already know that.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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"You're telling me a ghost came in and retrieved his hat?"
That was funny. I was just picturing the scene in my head and Cash's expression.
well then you continue with the entertainment all through when considering:
"So the wind blowed the ghost's hat off and you two brought it in. And then he came in and took it back, walking through the door." LOL
And how do they know the ghosts wear clothes? :D
Cash looks for facts, not paranormal events. He doesn't believe it. If we think about the living people, there are so many people interested in Paige's inheritance. Perhaps there is a ghost, but I also believe someone is trying to scare Paige.
the last scene was intriguing.
I love romance with paranormal stuff going on, but I think you already know that.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from Edward Buatois
Hi, Barbara!
I think this is my first intro to your work and to this book in particular.
Though I come into it in the middle, I am enjoying it. :-)
I had a few suggestions.
""We know Dwayne Walker taped a threatening note to my door." Paige pointed at the front door."
A couple of things. First, that feels redundant to me and I wonder if the pointing to the front door was necessary. Consider also that a few paragraphs down Paige is pointing to the back door. She points a lot. :-). I think the story would be fine if you removed the "pointed to the front door."
I think this:
"All in agreement?" Billy Joe scanned the friends. After they agreed, he continued, "What else?"
...would be better as:
"All in agreement?" Billy watched as all in the room nodded, and he continued. "What else?"
By making it an action that the friends do rather than Billy, it gives a bit more of a sense of dynamism to the scene, I think.
This passage: ""Here, Mr. Cash. Have a glass of nice cold tea." Nala held the tray out for him to choose one. Cash put the glass up to his mouth to take a sip. Morgan jumped up, barked, and snarled at Cash's feet. Something jerked Cash's elbow, forcing tea to splash his face."
Might be better as, "'Here, Mr. Cash. Have a glass of nice cold tea.'
Cash took one from the tray she offered. Just as he felt the cool glass touch his lips, Morgan jumped up and started snarling at his feet. He was just about to say 'what the--' when something that was not there jarred his elbow, emptying the entire contents onto his face."
There's a few things I did there. One, it tightens it up a bit. Two, it makes it a bit more sensual and in the moment by mentioning the sensation of the glass touching his lips. And three, by putting Cash's experience in one paragraph, it seems less disjointed. At least, to me.
I hope that all helps. I look forward to reading more!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Hi, Barbara!
I think this is my first intro to your work and to this book in particular.
Though I come into it in the middle, I am enjoying it. :-)
I had a few suggestions.
""We know Dwayne Walker taped a threatening note to my door." Paige pointed at the front door."
A couple of things. First, that feels redundant to me and I wonder if the pointing to the front door was necessary. Consider also that a few paragraphs down Paige is pointing to the back door. She points a lot. :-). I think the story would be fine if you removed the "pointed to the front door."
I think this:
"All in agreement?" Billy Joe scanned the friends. After they agreed, he continued, "What else?"
...would be better as:
"All in agreement?" Billy watched as all in the room nodded, and he continued. "What else?"
By making it an action that the friends do rather than Billy, it gives a bit more of a sense of dynamism to the scene, I think.
This passage: ""Here, Mr. Cash. Have a glass of nice cold tea." Nala held the tray out for him to choose one. Cash put the glass up to his mouth to take a sip. Morgan jumped up, barked, and snarled at Cash's feet. Something jerked Cash's elbow, forcing tea to splash his face."
Might be better as, "'Here, Mr. Cash. Have a glass of nice cold tea.'
Cash took one from the tray she offered. Just as he felt the cool glass touch his lips, Morgan jumped up and started snarling at his feet. He was just about to say 'what the--' when something that was not there jarred his elbow, emptying the entire contents onto his face."
There's a few things I did there. One, it tightens it up a bit. Two, it makes it a bit more sensual and in the moment by mentioning the sensation of the glass touching his lips. And three, by putting Cash's experience in one paragraph, it seems less disjointed. At least, to me.
I hope that all helps. I look forward to reading more!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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I will check those areas out. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sasha
Life does occasionally get in the way. Great chapter. I like how you summed everything up. Personally, I think the house has a ghost. Maybe as time goes on the others will agree too.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Life does occasionally get in the way. Great chapter. I like how you summed everything up. Personally, I think the house has a ghost. Maybe as time goes on the others will agree too.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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I don't know what it will take for Cash to agree. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shelby~thePoet
HI Barbara, I love this story you have crafted here, I have been to Savannah and on those ghost tours with the spanish moss and historic homes, the dialogue and characters put me there again with tales of old, well done!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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HI Barbara, I love this story you have crafted here, I have been to Savannah and on those ghost tours with the spanish moss and historic homes, the dialogue and characters put me there again with tales of old, well done!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I love Savannah. We have vacationed there.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where cash, paige, mary pat and billy joe write down what they know on an easel. cash is splashed by his own tea at the end.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where cash, paige, mary pat and billy joe write down what they know on an easel. cash is splashed by his own tea at the end.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I was happily reading along and BAM someone or something jerked Cash's elbow causing him splash tea in his face. Now I have to wait a week to see who or what it was! Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Hi Barbara,
I was happily reading along and BAM someone or something jerked Cash's elbow causing him splash tea in his face. Now I have to wait a week to see who or what it was! Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara. Good luck with your new little students!
"I was getting' (gettin') the easel when all this happened."
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Good chapter, Barbara. Good luck with your new little students!
"I was getting' (gettin') the easel when all this happened."
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and catching that extra g.
Comment from Norbanus
It looks like the ghost is getting tired of Cash not believing in ghosts. All he got was a face full of tea and Morgan will get blamed for it. Excellent flow and dialogue in this segment, Barbara.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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It looks like the ghost is getting tired of Cash not believing in ghosts. All he got was a face full of tea and Morgan will get blamed for it. Excellent flow and dialogue in this segment, Barbara.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from judiverse
Using the easel to make notes about possible suspects and strange events that have happened is a great idea. "Things we know" is the category, but it seems so many unexplained things have been happening. Money and treasure make powerful motives. When Paige mentions the ghost of Bradley Bookman, Cash is quick to say that they don't know that. Paige and Cash are at odds again over the supernatural element that keeps showing up. Nice touch to have Morgan jump and bark and then something mysterious splashes tea in Cash's face. That'll teach him to believe! Great work, and definitely six stars. judi
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Using the easel to make notes about possible suspects and strange events that have happened is a great idea. "Things we know" is the category, but it seems so many unexplained things have been happening. Money and treasure make powerful motives. When Paige mentions the ghost of Bradley Bookman, Cash is quick to say that they don't know that. Paige and Cash are at odds again over the supernatural element that keeps showing up. Nice touch to have Morgan jump and bark and then something mysterious splashes tea in Cash's face. That'll teach him to believe! Great work, and definitely six stars. judi
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
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You are so welcome. I am always eager to get to your novel when I see the notice come up on my private messages page. judi
Comment from elgone
Yay! I can give another six! Seems the ghost is tried of Cash not believing in ghosts. Of course the amateur sleuths aren't all that methodical about gathering up the facts of the case, but they are gradually putting things together.
E
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Yay! I can give another six! Seems the ghost is tried of Cash not believing in ghosts. Of course the amateur sleuths aren't all that methodical about gathering up the facts of the case, but they are gradually putting things together.
E
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
