Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Chapter 12, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
58 total reviews
Comment from Flamingbush
Wow, this is great. One of my favorite chapters so far. You tell so much story in one conversation between Paige and Cleve, it gives us almost their entire history. I'm taking mental notes on how to do the same and make my stories hot...
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Wow, this is great. One of my favorite chapters so far. You tell so much story in one conversation between Paige and Cleve, it gives us almost their entire history. I'm taking mental notes on how to do the same and make my stories hot...
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
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You're welcome. Glad to be of help.
Flaming
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara Wilkey ...
The newcomer in your story certainly didn't get a very warm reception.
In this relatively short chapter, there are just a few small changes needed ....
* You have - She patted the vacant seat by her. I suggest - the vacant seat beside her ...
* You have - Now, what you doing here? This should be -
what are you doing here?
* You have - Breath. Patience ... I suggest -
Breathe - patience ....
* You didn't tell us what made the little box move ... and move again ...apparently by itself!
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hullo Barbara Wilkey ...
The newcomer in your story certainly didn't get a very warm reception.
In this relatively short chapter, there are just a few small changes needed ....
* You have - She patted the vacant seat by her. I suggest - the vacant seat beside her ...
* You have - Now, what you doing here? This should be -
what are you doing here?
* You have - Breath. Patience ... I suggest -
Breathe - patience ....
* You didn't tell us what made the little box move ... and move again ...apparently by itself!
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for your eagle eye. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Norbanus
I'm sure glad you didn't neglect Morgan in this segment. He's growing so fast he'll be grown in no time. I'm glad to see Cash get a little exercise too. :-)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I'm sure glad you didn't neglect Morgan in this segment. He's growing so fast he'll be grown in no time. I'm glad to see Cash get a little exercise too. :-)
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Carrie Carson
Good, I'm glad she kicked his ass out. I'm surprised though that Cash didn't react much to his presence in the first place.
No spag, good form and flow. Story follows along logically without a break in sequence of events. Well done. :) Carrie
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Good, I'm glad she kicked his ass out. I'm surprised though that Cash didn't react much to his presence in the first place.
No spag, good form and flow. Story follows along logically without a break in sequence of events. Well done. :) Carrie
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
It was about time Paige let Cash get close.
So mystifying the box moving like that - creepy.
Now, what (are) you doing - add are
A great chapter, Barbara.
Margaret
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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It was about time Paige let Cash get close.
So mystifying the box moving like that - creepy.
Now, what (are) you doing - add are
A great chapter, Barbara.
Margaret
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and your eagle eye.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Loved this spooky unknown spirit:...Morgan barked and snapped at his pant leg. When Cleve kicked at the puppy, he fell. He glanced around as if he expected to see somebody.
"Ya're pretty clumsy for a Sprint Cup driver." Billy Joe put the toothpick in his mouth.
"Somebody tripped me." Cleve blinked a few times.
Paige has some one special in her team :)
Excellent!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Loved this spooky unknown spirit:...Morgan barked and snapped at his pant leg. When Cleve kicked at the puppy, he fell. He glanced around as if he expected to see somebody.
"Ya're pretty clumsy for a Sprint Cup driver." Billy Joe put the toothpick in his mouth.
"Somebody tripped me." Cleve blinked a few times.
Paige has some one special in her team :)
Excellent!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and words.
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Barbie, this was a nice chapter full of tension and conflict. I never did like the name Cleve. lol. I'm glad Cash sorted him out in the end. I don't know what it is with some men who think they can sponge on women. Such cads.
Nice pace. Well written. luv jada
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Hi Barbie, this was a nice chapter full of tension and conflict. I never did like the name Cleve. lol. I'm glad Cash sorted him out in the end. I don't know what it is with some men who think they can sponge on women. Such cads.
Nice pace. Well written. luv jada
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Well done, Barbara. I love the ghostly intervention! He left the ring behind? Too bad. LOL!
Very enjoyable post. I like that Paige showed her affection for Cash. It's time she let him get closer. I hope this will do it.
A couple of things:
Now, what (are) you doing here?"
Cleve bent to pick it up, but it moved from his reach. "What?" - just a suggestion here. To add a bit of disbelief, maybe "What the...?" might be better? Your call, of course, my friend!
Cheers!
Av
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Well done, Barbara. I love the ghostly intervention! He left the ring behind? Too bad. LOL!
Very enjoyable post. I like that Paige showed her affection for Cash. It's time she let him get closer. I hope this will do it.
A couple of things:
Now, what (are) you doing here?"
Cleve bent to pick it up, but it moved from his reach. "What?" - just a suggestion here. To add a bit of disbelief, maybe "What the...?" might be better? Your call, of course, my friend!
Cheers!
Av
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
Correct:"I told you she's my fianc©©e."
" so (I wouldn't) DOAN come back."
Southern slang for 'DON'T is DOAN
Other than that no SPAG. Lots of tension. Great use of the puppy's dislike for Cleve. Lots of unanswered question...is she really his fiance?
Regards:
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Correct:"I told you she's my fianc©©e."
" so (I wouldn't) DOAN come back."
Southern slang for 'DON'T is DOAN
Other than that no SPAG. Lots of tension. Great use of the puppy's dislike for Cleve. Lots of unanswered question...is she really his fiance?
Regards:
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
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Dear Barb: Thanks. By the way Con sid er able Mr. Brown Part 2 will be out soon...stay posted.
Hugs: Steve C
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
Cleveland Clover brings a new dimension to the story, and he makes the it more interesting and engaging. His arrival brought added tension with it, and his determination to have things the way they once were with Paige has Cash on the defensive.
It was an interesting twist when the velvet box moved on its own and Cleve claiming to have been tripped when he fell. It raises new questions as to whether or not there is a spirit in the house looking after Paige.
The action and excitement continued when Cash took him by the back of the neck and the belt and threw him down the stairs. Somehow, I don't think this is the last we will see of the defrocked race car driver. enjoyed the read.
Curtis
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Barbara,
Cleveland Clover brings a new dimension to the story, and he makes the it more interesting and engaging. His arrival brought added tension with it, and his determination to have things the way they once were with Paige has Cash on the defensive.
It was an interesting twist when the velvet box moved on its own and Cleve claiming to have been tripped when he fell. It raises new questions as to whether or not there is a spirit in the house looking after Paige.
The action and excitement continued when Cash took him by the back of the neck and the belt and threw him down the stairs. Somehow, I don't think this is the last we will see of the defrocked race car driver. enjoyed the read.
Curtis
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I always enjoy hearing from you.
