Reviews from

Savannah Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Chapter 11, part 5"
Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?

67 total reviews 
Comment from Mishelly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Finding out Cash could be a part of the same family tree is an interesting twist. I feel the history behind your story, and I love all the different elements you manage to juggle.

I did find one mistake. Where you wrote - "You're mom's done some family tree work, right?" - "You're" is incorrect. It should be "Your".

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review and catching that. I can't believe I made that error.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
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I love the picture!!! Well written. I have missed several chapters, so feel a bit like I am reading in the middle, but will try to get caught up. Well written as always~Debbie

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review and the support.
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very good piece. I can tell you put a lot of thought into your characters.You have a soothing flow, which captivated me from the start. I write mainly horror fiction,but i am glad I stopped to check out your work.Perhaps you might put a toe in the ugly water and read some of my stuff? Your feedback would help me immensely.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hi, Barb. Your story rolls right along very nicely, but still manages new info for the reader all the time. I do have a coupla suggestions if you don't mind:

"Cash walked to the man" Perhaps, "Cash answered the man."

And:"Wait! Stop! Did you say Ann Wilkins married James Bookman?" Cash ran his fingers through his hair." I'm not sure why, but I think the hair thing should go before his dialogue here, Barb.)

You know it's great writing overall, Barb. Bob

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 14-Jul-2013
    Sorry it took so long, but I wanted to make sure I had time to make the changes correctly. Thank you a bunch.
reply by Mastery on 14-Jul-2013
    That's quite alright, Barb. btw, I just posted Chapter four of my book, if you have time. Thanks so much...Bob
Comment from Terror2s
Excellent
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As usual I didn't notice any grammar errors. Your use of dialogue to move your story forward is excellent. Thanks for sharing. T2

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Excellent
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Yep! That's exactly how the big bedroom scene should go, Barbara. No self-respecting dog is going to sleep anywhere but in the middle. An interesting step in unraveling out mystery. Well done. :) nancy

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Titan Black
Excellent
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Sounds like Cash and Paige became a commodity. And
a black lab as a bonus! The way you write just keep my
eyes glued to the page. And that the mark of a good writer.
For, everytime I try to skim by, I can't. And that makes you
hot! Keep writing.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review and the support.
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
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Barbara - everything you write flows perfectly. Always a great mixture of dialog and narrative. This one a bit heavier with dialog. Everything you write seems so natural. Now, if you'll just slip in some red-eye gravy for breakfast. Bill

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    I just might slip it in. My son didn't think it sounded all that good. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by bhogg on 09-Jul-2013
    Here's a recipe

    http://www.lanascooking.com/2011/09/09/country-ham-with-red-eye-gravy/
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you
Comment from Antonin70
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story is maintaining its pace and interest both from the romantic side and the history of the house and its secrets. One point that has struck me, Barbara, is that by reading it in tranches like this, all you can do on FanStory, makes it slow down a bit so what I am doing is copying and backing up the postings until I have a whole chapter and reading only when the chapter ends. Have you had any other people suggesting a particular reading pattern? Anyway it is keeping me interested and wanting to know what happens next so you are certainly achieving your main aim. Thanks. Anton.

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review. No, I haven't. My actual chapters are probably well over 2000 words, so it would be hard to post on FS.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara:)
At last I think Cash and Paige are acting like a couple bonded by love and approved by Morgan.

Through some weird twist of fate, it now appears that their families may have a historical connection. Are they cousins, fortunately too distant to be kissing cousins?

As the mystery and even danger swirls around them, the clues keep building up. Great dialog. Love and Irish Hugs for more entertainment.

Roger

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
    Thank you for the kind review. YEA!! I go hugs this time.