Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "Chapter 11, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
63 total reviews
Comment from Auroraboreal800
You know how to keep our interest in your stories. This is an excellent chapter full of action. We will be sticking with you dear Barbara.
GOOD job!!
:)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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You know how to keep our interest in your stories. This is an excellent chapter full of action. We will be sticking with you dear Barbara.
GOOD job!!
:)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I appreciate you keeping up with me.
Comment from donaldww
Now that the police are involved, and the hand print analysis is about to be revealed, the identity of the robber-assailants is coming closer. I'd be surprised if it is one of Paige's immediate friends, they aren't the criminal types, and have a alibi. Maybe this has something to do with the two women who came over a few posts ago.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Now that the police are involved, and the hand print analysis is about to be revealed, the identity of the robber-assailants is coming closer. I'd be surprised if it is one of Paige's immediate friends, they aren't the criminal types, and have a alibi. Maybe this has something to do with the two women who came over a few posts ago.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. Oh my, you are close to the right track.
Comment from teacherdub
*Micky D's for burgers, then...
*I moved the mattress in the master bedroom, so I could get in."
*She stuck out her tongue.
*Since they wore gloves, there won't be any fingerprints.
*"Well check with the game warden, and the crime lab people will take your prints. ...
*The gentleman's suppose to return them tomorrow afternoon."
Barbara, I added a few things I found while reading this Chapter. The book sounds interesting, and I will definitely be backtracking tomorrow to get caught up. This reads a bit "cloak and danger" style, and I can't wait to read the beginning. td
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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*Micky D's for burgers, then...
*I moved the mattress in the master bedroom, so I could get in."
*She stuck out her tongue.
*Since they wore gloves, there won't be any fingerprints.
*"Well check with the game warden, and the crime lab people will take your prints. ...
*The gentleman's suppose to return them tomorrow afternoon."
Barbara, I added a few things I found while reading this Chapter. The book sounds interesting, and I will definitely be backtracking tomorrow to get caught up. This reads a bit "cloak and danger" style, and I can't wait to read the beginning. td
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the eagle eye and I will get on those in a few minutes.
Comment from braham20191
Four stars because it keeps one reading until the end and looking for what's next.
However, as the author herself suggests, reading previous chapters required and shall do. Until then judgement and further stars on hold :)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Four stars because it keeps one reading until the end and looking for what's next.
However, as the author herself suggests, reading previous chapters required and shall do. Until then judgement and further stars on hold :)
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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I am not sure it's not my fault that you haven't read the previous posts when I have had them available. I certainly couldn't post all 159 pages at one time. What is a novelist supposed to do?
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I know! Right? So, shame on me. I'll tentatively give you five and read them all starting this weekend :)
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I like how you're building up the tension, and leaving your readers with questions. This is a ghost story, a treasure hunt, and a mystery! Great fun.
A few suggestions/comments for you, my friend:
"We stopped at Micky D's for burger(s)
"Can anybody verify your where(a)bouts?" - one word, unless you intended to have him pronounce it in this way. :)
"See, it has the time we ordered on it. - suggest: "See? It has the time we ordered on it.
"I set that there. I moved the mattress in the master bedroom, so I (could?) get in."
"But it's been," Paige paused, "over one hundred fifty years(.) - I don't think you need the 'ago'. Read it out loud and see what you think?
Are (there) tunnels?
The older officer glared at Cash. "Why'd you do that?"
"To shut off ways to get from the downstairs into Paige's bedroom without anybody knowing. I put padlocks on the doors. If you want the keys, I have them." Cash reached into his pocket and produced the keys.
"Have any of you found anything unusual that burglars would be interested in?" interjected the younger officer.
"Not really. I found some jewelry, a few Civil War bills and button. I took them to a friend of my mother's to be authenticated."
"Is that all?" The older officer glared at Cash and took some notes. - Just a comment - you mentioned several lines back that the officer was glaring at Cash, and here you mention it again. Perhaps when you're doing the revision, you might consider using a different description?
The plot thickens! Good post, Barbara.
Av
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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I like how you're building up the tension, and leaving your readers with questions. This is a ghost story, a treasure hunt, and a mystery! Great fun.
A few suggestions/comments for you, my friend:
"We stopped at Micky D's for burger(s)
"Can anybody verify your where(a)bouts?" - one word, unless you intended to have him pronounce it in this way. :)
"See, it has the time we ordered on it. - suggest: "See? It has the time we ordered on it.
"I set that there. I moved the mattress in the master bedroom, so I (could?) get in."
"But it's been," Paige paused, "over one hundred fifty years(.) - I don't think you need the 'ago'. Read it out loud and see what you think?
Are (there) tunnels?
The older officer glared at Cash. "Why'd you do that?"
"To shut off ways to get from the downstairs into Paige's bedroom without anybody knowing. I put padlocks on the doors. If you want the keys, I have them." Cash reached into his pocket and produced the keys.
"Have any of you found anything unusual that burglars would be interested in?" interjected the younger officer.
"Not really. I found some jewelry, a few Civil War bills and button. I took them to a friend of my mother's to be authenticated."
"Is that all?" The older officer glared at Cash and took some notes. - Just a comment - you mentioned several lines back that the officer was glaring at Cash, and here you mention it again. Perhaps when you're doing the revision, you might consider using a different description?
The plot thickens! Good post, Barbara.
Av
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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I appreciate your reading and input. I love your writing and feel honored that you took time to help.
Comment from keimosobie
This is a great crime scene story it had the wonder who did it and the curiosity that pulled you in great characters and enough umph in each of there words to understand them
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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This is a great crime scene story it had the wonder who did it and the curiosity that pulled you in great characters and enough umph in each of there words to understand them
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Thank your for the kind review I appreciate the encouragement.
Comment from Sasha
Things seem to have calmed down a bit but I would still be very nervous staying in that house until they find out who broke in and attacked them. Very nice work with this chapter. I look forward to reading the next one.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Things seem to have calmed down a bit but I would still be very nervous staying in that house until they find out who broke in and attacked them. Very nice work with this chapter. I look forward to reading the next one.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I always enjoying hearing from you. I appreciate the review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles Barb,
No doubt in my mind about this excellent chapter of yours
Yes you have a great deal going on,
but Barb you have a very good way of keeping to me a reader's attention
Gert
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Smiles Barb,
No doubt in my mind about this excellent chapter of yours
Yes you have a great deal going on,
but Barb you have a very good way of keeping to me a reader's attention
Gert
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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I always appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
Again, this is an interesting chapter but you have several changes needed ...
* You have - We stopped at Micky D's for burger ... which should be either - for burgers .. OR .. for a burger ...
* You have - your where-bouts .. which should be -
your whereabouts ....
* You have - so I get in. This should be - so I could get in ...
* You have - She stuck out of her tongue ... which should be - She stuck out her tongue ...
* You have - there's won't be any fingerprints. This should be - there won't be ....
* You have - After putting this phone away, Cash said ..
this should be - After putting his phone away ....
* You have - Are their tunnels? This should be - Are there tunnels?
* You have - bills and button. I suggest - bills and a button ......
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
Again, this is an interesting chapter but you have several changes needed ...
* You have - We stopped at Micky D's for burger ... which should be either - for burgers .. OR .. for a burger ...
* You have - your where-bouts .. which should be -
your whereabouts ....
* You have - so I get in. This should be - so I could get in ...
* You have - She stuck out of her tongue ... which should be - She stuck out her tongue ...
* You have - there's won't be any fingerprints. This should be - there won't be ....
* You have - After putting this phone away, Cash said ..
this should be - After putting his phone away ....
* You have - Are their tunnels? This should be - Are there tunnels?
* You have - bills and button. I suggest - bills and a button ......
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
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Thank you for your eagle eye and I will get on these immediately.
Comment from amahra
Great chapter. I like how you keep your chapters so short yet full of interests for the reader. I have yet to do that, but I will. Loved that art work you found on google images.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Great chapter. I like how you keep your chapters so short yet full of interests for the reader. I have yet to do that, but I will. Loved that art work you found on google images.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
