Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Chapter 11, part 1"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
64 total reviews
Comment from unimatrix001
Who are these men? What do they want? Why did they leave without getting what they wanted? Well, so far it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I'm sure that is the point. Great read.
We need to get the ladies comfortable[,] and then you can ask your questions - compound sentence
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Who are these men? What do they want? Why did they leave without getting what they wanted? Well, so far it doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I'm sure that is the point. Great read.
We need to get the ladies comfortable[,] and then you can ask your questions - compound sentence
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
Comment from NicciFaye
Well you really keep the reader's interest. This hot and tense reading is a page turner.
Enjoying this as it continues.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Well you really keep the reader's interest. This hot and tense reading is a page turner.
Enjoying this as it continues.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mrs Jones
Now suspicion will fall on Cash (I'm betting). Nice page turner. Well written and well edited as always Mrs. Wilkie.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Now suspicion will fall on Cash (I'm betting). Nice page turner. Well written and well edited as always Mrs. Wilkie.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Than you for the kind review and support.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Again a virtual six
I knew the two women would be found alive ,otherwise your story wouldn't be no longer interesting with Paige and Mary Pat gone
You to me did an excellent job when Cash was searching for
the missing women
Gert
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Again a virtual six
I knew the two women would be found alive ,otherwise your story wouldn't be no longer interesting with Paige and Mary Pat gone
You to me did an excellent job when Cash was searching for
the missing women
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and your continued support. I appreciate the virtual six.
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You are very welcome
Gert
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You are very welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from Rondeno
It's great that they're both safe. You manage to create considerable tension - and then dissipate it in a way that makes the reader feel good.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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It's great that they're both safe. You manage to create considerable tension - and then dissipate it in a way that makes the reader feel good.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Thank goodness the women have been found and now are being questioned - an enjoyable chapter, Barbara
Only a dim light came from the flashlight Billy Joe always carried, [a dim]. - LOSE
Bent down, Cash petted Morgan's head. " - Bending down
it's swollen pretty good - pretty bad.
Margaret
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank goodness the women have been found and now are being questioned - an enjoyable chapter, Barbara
Only a dim light came from the flashlight Billy Joe always carried, [a dim]. - LOSE
Bent down, Cash petted Morgan's head. " - Bending down
it's swollen pretty good - pretty bad.
Margaret
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I had made corrections on the first sentence and forgot to delete some words. Thank you for the eagle eye.
Comment from Darkhorse555
i really enjoyed reading this beautiful piece you draw a painting in a mask i quite liked how you put that in a lovely piece of writting
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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i really enjoyed reading this beautiful piece you draw a painting in a mask i quite liked how you put that in a lovely piece of writting
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
Please be in here and alive.
Oh, you've captured my attention right away.
Morgan barked, turned, and headed toward the back of narrow, long room.
...toward the back of (the) narrow, long room.
Again, he heard growling.
This dog adds such an important element to the story.
"I called them. I thought it's time we get the authorities involved.
...authorities involved.(")
The older police officer glance bounced between the two women.
...police officer('s) glance...
"Where were you guys when this happened?" He fingered his gun.
Oh, a little bit of intensity thrown in here at the end.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Please be in here and alive.
Oh, you've captured my attention right away.
Morgan barked, turned, and headed toward the back of narrow, long room.
...toward the back of (the) narrow, long room.
Again, he heard growling.
This dog adds such an important element to the story.
"I called them. I thought it's time we get the authorities involved.
...authorities involved.(")
The older police officer glance bounced between the two women.
...police officer('s) glance...
"Where were you guys when this happened?" He fingered his gun.
Oh, a little bit of intensity thrown in here at the end.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I will get those corrections made ASAP.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
Obviously, the lover's spat is resolve as Paige apologizes and Cash kisses her on the forehead. (Doesn't this romantically challenged guy know when it's time for a strong hug and a full 'lip lock'?) I'll bet Cash is permanently back on the restoration job.
Now the police are involved, but I doubt that these home invaders have anything to do pith other break ins at the old antebellum mansion. Rumors of treasures abound concerning Savannah's rich heritage.
Paige may still have an opportunity to rub it in about Mary Pat's pistol. After all the crooks could have used it on the girls.
I have just a couple of suggestions:
1. Morgan barked, turned, and headed toward the back of [the] narrow, long room. {I think you need the second article 'the' as shown, to complete this sentence.}
2. From a flashlight Billy Joe always carried, a dim light lit the room. {I suggest a rewrite for better flow and clarity. Example: Only a dim light came from the flashlight Billy Joe carried. He shook it and the room went totally dark again.
Heres some love and Irish Hugs for a restful vacation so you have time to write some more great dialog and deepen the love connection.
Roger
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Hi Barbara:)
Obviously, the lover's spat is resolve as Paige apologizes and Cash kisses her on the forehead. (Doesn't this romantically challenged guy know when it's time for a strong hug and a full 'lip lock'?) I'll bet Cash is permanently back on the restoration job.
Now the police are involved, but I doubt that these home invaders have anything to do pith other break ins at the old antebellum mansion. Rumors of treasures abound concerning Savannah's rich heritage.
Paige may still have an opportunity to rub it in about Mary Pat's pistol. After all the crooks could have used it on the girls.
I have just a couple of suggestions:
1. Morgan barked, turned, and headed toward the back of [the] narrow, long room. {I think you need the second article 'the' as shown, to complete this sentence.}
2. From a flashlight Billy Joe always carried, a dim light lit the room. {I suggest a rewrite for better flow and clarity. Example: Only a dim light came from the flashlight Billy Joe carried. He shook it and the room went totally dark again.
Heres some love and Irish Hugs for a restful vacation so you have time to write some more great dialog and deepen the love connection.
Roger
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I have rewritten your second suggestion numerous times, trying to get it to flow. I like your suggestion. Thank you and hugs.
Comment from GregoryCody
Ooh Cash again. This was a great way to end the chapter. Keep the reader wanting more. I didn't see any errors at all. A great selection.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Ooh Cash again. This was a great way to end the chapter. Keep the reader wanting more. I didn't see any errors at all. A great selection.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
