Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Chapter 10, part 6"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
68 total reviews
Comment from muezza56
i really enjoy reading these snippets, and the lively interaction between the well conceived characters adds to this really well written storyline which makes for really enjoyable reading
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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i really enjoy reading these snippets, and the lively interaction between the well conceived characters adds to this really well written storyline which makes for really enjoyable reading
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mizzkris20
Cash is so hardheaded, lol. I love how you make your characters so lively and their conversations are very realistic. You are a great writer
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Cash is so hardheaded, lol. I love how you make your characters so lively and their conversations are very realistic. You are a great writer
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Yes, Cash is hardheaded. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Another very enjoyable post. Relationships are fragile. A word can ruin so much. I didn't think that Billy Joe had a wise counseling side. Regards, Bill
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Another very enjoyable post. Relationships are fragile. A word can ruin so much. I didn't think that Billy Joe had a wise counseling side. Regards, Bill
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. Relationships are very fragile.
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They really are Barbara. I'm wrestling right now with one of mine. I recently dumped my bucket and am afraid it will wipe out all sorts of things positive. Isn't it strange how it all works out sometimes. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Cash is sure hard-headed and
stubborn as a mule, but you
handled the conversation between
him and Billy Joe really well...
so believable, Barbara.
Margaret
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Cash is sure hard-headed and
stubborn as a mule, but you
handled the conversation between
him and Billy Joe really well...
so believable, Barbara.
Margaret
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope you had a great vacation.
Comment from Marcy A.
Enjoyed the piece a great deal, though I need to go back and become more familiar with the story. Your prose is good, as is your dialogue. At times I was confused as to who was speaking, and sometimes the dialogue got a bit jumbled.
Example:
"Cash glared at him and held out his hand. "My keys." Billy Joe put his well chewed toothpick in it. "You trying to be funny?" This exchange needs a little work, such as:
"Cash glared at him and held out a hand. "My keys."
(New paragraph)
Billy merely placed the well-chewed toothpick in Cash's hand.
(New paragraph)
"You trying to be funny?" Cash asked.
Another thing I noticed was that I wasn't really in anyone's "head." Would have liked to have known what Cash was thinking (or Billy Joe). Try closing your eyes and visualizing the scene from one character's point of view. Then use your senses, smell, sight, touch, sound, etc. Try incorporating some of these things into your writing to draw the reader in and make him/her become part of the story.
Hope this is helpful. Will continue to follow your work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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Enjoyed the piece a great deal, though I need to go back and become more familiar with the story. Your prose is good, as is your dialogue. At times I was confused as to who was speaking, and sometimes the dialogue got a bit jumbled.
Example:
"Cash glared at him and held out his hand. "My keys." Billy Joe put his well chewed toothpick in it. "You trying to be funny?" This exchange needs a little work, such as:
"Cash glared at him and held out a hand. "My keys."
(New paragraph)
Billy merely placed the well-chewed toothpick in Cash's hand.
(New paragraph)
"You trying to be funny?" Cash asked.
Another thing I noticed was that I wasn't really in anyone's "head." Would have liked to have known what Cash was thinking (or Billy Joe). Try closing your eyes and visualizing the scene from one character's point of view. Then use your senses, smell, sight, touch, sound, etc. Try incorporating some of these things into your writing to draw the reader in and make him/her become part of the story.
Hope this is helpful. Will continue to follow your work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 21-May-2013
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I will take another look at that area. You are the only person to mention a problem with it. This post was written in Cash's POV. Evident with the thought in italics. Thank you.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
A little boy strategy is entertaining, Barbara. And a good argument clears the air. Paige won't need to simmer too long. She's hooked, too. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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A little boy strategy is entertaining, Barbara. And a good argument clears the air. Paige won't need to simmer too long. She's hooked, too. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and continued support.
Comment from unimatrix001
Paige and Cash first have to recognize that they have a relationship before they'll recognize that it's in trouble. I think Cash has the message, but Paige will be harder to convince. She doesn't have a friend like Billy Joe to relate to, and she has wall built out of scars she's not ready to tear down, just yet.
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Paige and Cash first have to recognize that they have a relationship before they'll recognize that it's in trouble. I think Cash has the message, but Paige will be harder to convince. She doesn't have a friend like Billy Joe to relate to, and she has wall built out of scars she's not ready to tear down, just yet.
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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You are so wise. I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from Neil A Morrow
Hi Barbara, I must confess I don't read much romance novels but I decided I would give yours a try. You have a great writing voice andalong with fantasticly written dialogue and descriptions makes for a good visual representation in the reader's mind's eye. I confess, I actually enjoyed reading your work. Very well done.
Neil
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Hi Barbara, I must confess I don't read much romance novels but I decided I would give yours a try. You have a great writing voice andalong with fantasticly written dialogue and descriptions makes for a good visual representation in the reader's mind's eye. I confess, I actually enjoyed reading your work. Very well done.
Neil
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I actually have quite a few men fans. I don't write the traditional romance. I try to actually have a plot.
Comment from Mrs Jones
Some good cooling off advice. Let's hope Paige changes her mind. It was short, but a good write once more. Well edited. I like the way he put the toothpick in Cash's hand. Nice touch of humour.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Some good cooling off advice. Let's hope Paige changes her mind. It was short, but a good write once more. Well edited. I like the way he put the toothpick in Cash's hand. Nice touch of humour.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I actually received a four for that scene. I am glad you liked it.
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How ridiculous!
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
I haven't read the many previous chapters, so I really do not know what's going on. I rated this post on spags only, and found none, my friend. Nice storytelling.
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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I haven't read the many previous chapters, so I really do not know what's going on. I rated this post on spags only, and found none, my friend. Nice storytelling.
Comment Written 21-May-2013
reply by the author on 22-May-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
