Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Chapter 10, part 3"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
53 total reviews
Comment from RazberryBullet
Confusing:... "Documentation (that)the house has to stay in the Bookman line has never been found nor has there been any record of it."
Well done!
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
  |
Confusing:... "Documentation (that)the house has to stay in the Bookman line has never been found nor has there been any record of it."
Well done!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and the eagle eye. I have made the correction
Comment from JeffreyStone
I can't resist the perfect picture of a wamr puppy. It is the perfect lure to a very interesting and well-written piece, buoyed by some excellent dialogue. There was only one sentence I thought sounded much to formal for intimate people i.e.: She turned. "Cash, would you like to join me while I speak with him?"
I also thought the three instances of massaging , rubbing, petting and cuddling were overdone to the point of distraction.
The grammar and structure are great.
I enjjoyed the read.
Jeffrey
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
|
I can't resist the perfect picture of a wamr puppy. It is the perfect lure to a very interesting and well-written piece, buoyed by some excellent dialogue. There was only one sentence I thought sounded much to formal for intimate people i.e.: She turned. "Cash, would you like to join me while I speak with him?"
I also thought the three instances of massaging , rubbing, petting and cuddling were overdone to the point of distraction.
The grammar and structure are great.
I enjjoyed the read.
Jeffrey
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2013
-
I will check those out. Thank you for pointing it out.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
The tension continues to build, and the story is interesting and well-written. The dialog between the characters is outstanding as are the transitions between narrative and dialog. The information that Paige is given by the lawyer helps shed light on the eerie happenings. The missing will specifying that the inheritance by someone in the Bookman Family bloodline adds nicely to the suspense.
The story captured and held my attention from the beginning.
Curtis
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
 |
Barbara,
The tension continues to build, and the story is interesting and well-written. The dialog between the characters is outstanding as are the transitions between narrative and dialog. The information that Paige is given by the lawyer helps shed light on the eerie happenings. The missing will specifying that the inheritance by someone in the Bookman Family bloodline adds nicely to the suspense.
The story captured and held my attention from the beginning.
Curtis
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and the encouraging words.
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - I love how you grab your reader and pull them along. Not incredible tension, but you're so good, I was just following with great anticipation. I'm always disappointed when your posts ends. Good stuff. Always warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
Barbara - I love how you grab your reader and pull them along. Not incredible tension, but you're so good, I was just following with great anticipation. I'm always disappointed when your posts ends. Good stuff. Always warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words. I appreciate both.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Ah so that's why the older Walker ladies where checking up on Paige. They thought they could contest the will and get the inheritance.
I bet the ghost of soldier Bookman doesn't want the family home or money going to anyone but Paige. I can't wait to see if I'm right.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
Ah so that's why the older Walker ladies where checking up on Paige. They thought they could contest the will and get the inheritance.
I bet the ghost of soldier Bookman doesn't want the family home or money going to anyone but Paige. I can't wait to see if I'm right.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and support.
Comment from barkingdog
This chapter is chucked full of information relating to the Walker's their connection to the Bookman's. Is Paige a direct descendent? Maybe the family tree will tell.
I guess someone is looking for what George Bookman supposedly wrote about only a Bookman inheriting the house.
Those Walker grandmas are the worst! Hurting little Morgan. And so rude. They live in the past. I hope they are taught a lesson.
- they want[,] and who
-handprint[,] and we've hired
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
This chapter is chucked full of information relating to the Walker's their connection to the Bookman's. Is Paige a direct descendent? Maybe the family tree will tell.
I guess someone is looking for what George Bookman supposedly wrote about only a Bookman inheriting the house.
Those Walker grandmas are the worst! Hurting little Morgan. And so rude. They live in the past. I hope they are taught a lesson.
- they want[,] and who
-handprint[,] and we've hired
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and the eagle eyes.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Barbara,
I loved the build up in this post for what is sure to be explosive mystery for the generations and the house.
As always your work impresses me - smooth transitions with your character dialogue, nice on going scene imagery.
I also liked the emotions in this one - even the ones simmering...it gives the reader a clear understanding that more is coming.
Excellent as always - a well deserved six for your work my friend. I loved this post.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
Hi Barbara,
I loved the build up in this post for what is sure to be explosive mystery for the generations and the house.
As always your work impresses me - smooth transitions with your character dialogue, nice on going scene imagery.
I also liked the emotions in this one - even the ones simmering...it gives the reader a clear understanding that more is coming.
Excellent as always - a well deserved six for your work my friend. I loved this post.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and the encouragement.
Comment from Writingfundimension
My only beef about this chapter is that it's too short LOL.
I like your breezy style, barbara. It's easy to pick up where you leave off and each time a little more gets revealed. Another super read!
Warm regards, Bev
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
My only beef about this chapter is that it's too short LOL.
I like your breezy style, barbara. It's easy to pick up where you leave off and each time a little more gets revealed. Another super read!
Warm regards, Bev
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and the continued support.
-
You're very welcome, barbaara.
Comment from Curly Girly
This read very well and I could spot nothing wrong with it until right near the end. You wrote this:
Enough sunlight shown through the window
*Suggest:
Enough sunlight shone through the window
All good.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
This read very well and I could spot nothing wrong with it until right near the end. You wrote this:
Enough sunlight shown through the window
*Suggest:
Enough sunlight shone through the window
All good.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
I wondered about that. At first I had shone, then I changed it. I should have looked it up. It is changed. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
This is very well written, I see no errors. It is interesting and I look forward to reading more. I have no suggestion for improves. Well done. Roxanna
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
|
This is very well written, I see no errors. It is interesting and I look forward to reading more. I have no suggestion for improves. Well done. Roxanna
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
-
Thank you for your kind review.
