Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Chapter 10, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
56 total reviews
Comment from Jericajalane
This chapter is developing suspense. I would not have guess the chapter's conclusion given the nature of the information that was provided in the text. The text is easy to read and flows well. There is sufficient detail to get the picture but not enough for the reader to draw a conclusion. Suspenseful!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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This chapter is developing suspense. I would not have guess the chapter's conclusion given the nature of the information that was provided in the text. The text is easy to read and flows well. There is sufficient detail to get the picture but not enough for the reader to draw a conclusion. Suspenseful!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from gene roush
This is a nice scene -- intriguing.
Jumping into the middle of the story leaves me unsure of your intent so if, "How does that concern you?" is meant to show a suspicious side of Paige, well done.
A part that doesn't flow well for me is "part of the Walkers" and the response, "Matter-of-fact we do."
Nice finish -- I look forward to reading more.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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This is a nice scene -- intriguing.
Jumping into the middle of the story leaves me unsure of your intent so if, "How does that concern you?" is meant to show a suspicious side of Paige, well done.
A part that doesn't flow well for me is "part of the Walkers" and the response, "Matter-of-fact we do."
Nice finish -- I look forward to reading more.
Thanks for sharing.
Gene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from Selina Stambi
Amazing how fast those two li'l ol' ladies managed to move as they left with a slam! :)
Spags:
The lady without the cane eyebrows rose ... seems a bit convoluted ... suggest ... the eyebrows of the cane-less lady rose
Howdy darlin's (missed the apostrophe)
Beatrice (was) silenced when (missed was)
before Ethel said (no comma after before)
matter of fact (no hyphens)
".... I'm curious how you found out about me." (no question mark)
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Amazing how fast those two li'l ol' ladies managed to move as they left with a slam! :)
Spags:
The lady without the cane eyebrows rose ... seems a bit convoluted ... suggest ... the eyebrows of the cane-less lady rose
Howdy darlin's (missed the apostrophe)
Beatrice (was) silenced when (missed was)
before Ethel said (no comma after before)
matter of fact (no hyphens)
".... I'm curious how you found out about me." (no question mark)
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Sorry for the late reply, but I needed time to make the corrections without making further corrections. I appreciate the eagle eye.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
HAHA! Paige is smarter than they are! I like how she rounded 'em up and headed 'em out.
:D
A few things for your consideration, my friend:
"Howdy, darlin(')s."
The lady without the cane eyebrows rose - this just doesn't read right to me, Barbara. I've been trying to think of an alternative. If you're trying to convey a silent message between them,maybe: Both ladies raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other.
Your call, though, of course!
"Of course not, Maurice and I just finished. - Suggest losing comma and using a period. "Of course not. Maurice and I...
Daughters of (the) American Revolution.
plan(t)ation north
Great post, though. I just wish I could read more!
Av
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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HAHA! Paige is smarter than they are! I like how she rounded 'em up and headed 'em out.
:D
A few things for your consideration, my friend:
"Howdy, darlin(')s."
The lady without the cane eyebrows rose - this just doesn't read right to me, Barbara. I've been trying to think of an alternative. If you're trying to convey a silent message between them,maybe: Both ladies raised their eyebrows and glanced at each other.
Your call, though, of course!
"Of course not, Maurice and I just finished. - Suggest losing comma and using a period. "Of course not. Maurice and I...
Daughters of (the) American Revolution.
plan(t)ation north
Great post, though. I just wish I could read more!
Av
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Sorry for the late reply, but I needed time to make the corrections without making further corrections. I appreciate the eagle eye.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Good move on Paige's part - made them leave
in a hurry - makes me wonder what they are
up to or after. The dialogue flowed naturally...
all in all, most enjoyable, Barbara.
large planation north - plantation
Margaret
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Good move on Paige's part - made them leave
in a hurry - makes me wonder what they are
up to or after. The dialogue flowed naturally...
all in all, most enjoyable, Barbara.
large planation north - plantation
Margaret
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I have fixed that, thank you.
Comment from AprilShower
Paige is meeting all kinds of people in Savannah. People are really coming after her, and she's surrounded by people all the time fending for her. She has no time to get lonesome. It seemed strange how these two abruptly left.
April
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Paige is meeting all kinds of people in Savannah. People are really coming after her, and she's surrounded by people all the time fending for her. She has no time to get lonesome. It seemed strange how these two abruptly left.
April
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
Well, I wonder what those two ladies re up to? I think Paige hit a nerve, for whatever reason and they literately ran out of the house. I wonder what the Walker family made Ethel and Beatrice so uncomfortable. Each chapter is more intriguing than the last and it is hard to wait for the next chapter. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Hi Barbara,
Well, I wonder what those two ladies re up to? I think Paige hit a nerve, for whatever reason and they literately ran out of the house. I wonder what the Walker family made Ethel and Beatrice so uncomfortable. Each chapter is more intriguing than the last and it is hard to wait for the next chapter. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and your encouragement.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
I enjoyed the way Paige removed the social snobs from her presence. Highly entertaining.
I also have a question. What guidelines do you use/or from where? I'd like to go through them. Please.
Thanks. :) Carolyn
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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I enjoyed the way Paige removed the social snobs from her presence. Highly entertaining.
I also have a question. What guidelines do you use/or from where? I'd like to go through them. Please.
Thanks. :) Carolyn
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and your encouragement.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Barbara,
I loved Paige in this post and laughed myself a few times at her ability to switch the tables around on her guests.
Well penned, smooth flowing read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Edit check:
""Hmm, I'm wondering if either or both of you are part of the Walkers who own the large planation north of town by the river." " // plantation
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Hi Barbara,
I loved Paige in this post and laughed myself a few times at her ability to switch the tables around on her guests.
Well penned, smooth flowing read.
Thanks for sharing it.
Maureen
Edit check:
""Hmm, I'm wondering if either or both of you are part of the Walkers who own the large planation north of town by the river." " // plantation
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I have fixed that.
Comment from EmberSnowcat
I like this story a lot. It was a very story to follow and I can almost feel a southern breeze and picture Ethel and Beatrice in their well to do clothes and dollar signs in their eyes LOL. I like Paige. She seems like a straight shooter and no non sense kind of gal. And so far this is the only chapter I've read. Makes me want to read more! Great job.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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I like this story a lot. It was a very story to follow and I can almost feel a southern breeze and picture Ethel and Beatrice in their well to do clothes and dollar signs in their eyes LOL. I like Paige. She seems like a straight shooter and no non sense kind of gal. And so far this is the only chapter I've read. Makes me want to read more! Great job.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
