Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 10, Part 1"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
62 total reviews
Comment from gene roush
Nice job,
Your dialog flows well and believably.
Your narrative seems awkward to me ie. "armed with a cell phone, called Mr.. Redman" if the phone does become a weapon, this is nicely slipped into the plot. If not, perhaps, "phoned Mr.. Redman on her cell" would flow better.
You're a talented writer, thanks for sharing.
Gene
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Nice job,
Your dialog flows well and believably.
Your narrative seems awkward to me ie. "armed with a cell phone, called Mr.. Redman" if the phone does become a weapon, this is nicely slipped into the plot. If not, perhaps, "phoned Mr.. Redman on her cell" would flow better.
You're a talented writer, thanks for sharing.
Gene
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the review. If you knew the entire story you would understand why aimed is there.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
We have some new characters in this chapter. Apparently Maurice cares not for women so Cash isn't worried about him....or is he? But who are the two women that showed up? Billy Joe is right it seems the house has a revolving door. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Hi Barbara,
We have some new characters in this chapter. Apparently Maurice cares not for women so Cash isn't worried about him....or is he? But who are the two women that showed up? Billy Joe is right it seems the house has a revolving door. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from AprilShower
I love the picture of the puppy. I've fallen in love with him. This puppy is adorable.
Paige sure has a lot of people caring for her. I am wondering what is attracting all of them. Could it be curiosity or something else?
I have no suggestions.
April
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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I love the picture of the puppy. I've fallen in love with him. This puppy is adorable.
Paige sure has a lot of people caring for her. I am wondering what is attracting all of them. Could it be curiosity or something else?
I have no suggestions.
April
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. I love the puppy too.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
The chapter is interesting, and it got my attention right away. The story flows well and is easy to read. The dialog between the characters is outstanding. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next chapter.
Curtis
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Barbara,
The chapter is interesting, and it got my attention right away. The story flows well and is easy to read. The dialog between the characters is outstanding. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next chapter.
Curtis
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from God's Writer
Another wonderful story. My eyes lit up and a smile came across my face. As usual a literary treat. many beautiful word images you have created for the reader. Thank you
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Another wonderful story. My eyes lit up and a smile came across my face. As usual a literary treat. many beautiful word images you have created for the reader. Thank you
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from judiverse
I think I'm in love with that adorable puppy! Enjoyed this post very much. Shows how willing Paige's friends are to be of help to her. I like the masseur character, and Maurice sounds just the right name for him. It's sounding like someone in Paige's circle may be the one causing all the trouble, but that's too impossible. They all seem so nice. You leave us wondering at the end about who those two ladies could be. Maybe they have information about the house. Funny that they think Cash is hired help. judi
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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I think I'm in love with that adorable puppy! Enjoyed this post very much. Shows how willing Paige's friends are to be of help to her. I like the masseur character, and Maurice sounds just the right name for him. It's sounding like someone in Paige's circle may be the one causing all the trouble, but that's too impossible. They all seem so nice. You leave us wondering at the end about who those two ladies could be. Maybe they have information about the house. Funny that they think Cash is hired help. judi
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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These two ladies will shed some light on the problem. Thank you for the kind review.
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I'll be waiting! You're welcome. judi
Comment from emjaihammond
This continues to be an interesting read. I like the way you set up your characters and how the plot always advances, leaving the reader interested in what is coming next. Enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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This continues to be an interesting read. I like the way you set up your characters and how the plot always advances, leaving the reader interested in what is coming next. Enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from donaldww
Cash is showing a bit of jealousy while trying to keep a lid on his feelings. Of course, his friend's gentle nudging isn't helping. LOL
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Cash is showing a bit of jealousy while trying to keep a lid on his feelings. Of course, his friend's gentle nudging isn't helping. LOL
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Nope, Billy Joe says what's on his mind. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Beverley101
Good writing and the dialogue works well. Of course I have no idea where the story is going but that's good, since we'll have to wait for the next bit.
- While she prepared breakfast, Mary Pat helped Paige shower and dress. (rewrite this sentence - it sounds like Mary Pat is making breakfast and helping Paige to dress at the same time)
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Good writing and the dialogue works well. Of course I have no idea where the story is going but that's good, since we'll have to wait for the next bit.
- While she prepared breakfast, Mary Pat helped Paige shower and dress. (rewrite this sentence - it sounds like Mary Pat is making breakfast and helping Paige to dress at the same time)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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I have rewritten that sentence many times and still don't have it right. Thank you for the help with it.
Comment from Gungalo
Don't know who those two are but I betchya they don;t make for a happy scene. LOL. Cash must love being referred to as the hired help. LOL
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Don't know who those two are but I betchya they don;t make for a happy scene. LOL. Cash must love being referred to as the hired help. LOL
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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These two ladies are very interesting and will shed on light on our problem. Thank you for the kind review.
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Ahhh we shall see.
