Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Chapter 8, part 5"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
65 total reviews
Comment from Mark Brucato
Really enjoyed. God bless with you're book. Especially liked this paragraph
"What are you barking at? You're too little to do any good." Cash removed his cell from his jeans pocket. "Billy Joe, can you and Mary Pat come to Paige's? A note was taped to her door. It wasn't a welcome message." He put his phone away. "There'll be here in a few minutes. While Billy Joe and I search the place, Mary Pat'll stay with you and your vicious dog." He petted the pup on the head.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Really enjoyed. God bless with you're book. Especially liked this paragraph
"What are you barking at? You're too little to do any good." Cash removed his cell from his jeans pocket. "Billy Joe, can you and Mary Pat come to Paige's? A note was taped to her door. It wasn't a welcome message." He put his phone away. "There'll be here in a few minutes. While Billy Joe and I search the place, Mary Pat'll stay with you and your vicious dog." He petted the pup on the head.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
I hope nothing has happened to Billy Joe since he and
Cash parted company. Better yet, I hope he's not involved
with this threatening of Paige. Morgan may be a little
pup but little pups can be vicious when they need to be.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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barbara:
I hope nothing has happened to Billy Joe since he and
Cash parted company. Better yet, I hope he's not involved
with this threatening of Paige. Morgan may be a little
pup but little pups can be vicious when they need to be.
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I enjoyed the longer read, Barbara. Poor Paige. I wonder who sent that note? I'm glad she has Cash there to make sure she's safe. I didn't see anything messed up, quite frankly. It reads very well.
I only saw one missing question mark.
"I wonder if his people own that large plantation north of town by the river(?)"
Great read! Enjoy your trip, Barbara.
Hugs, Av
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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I enjoyed the longer read, Barbara. Poor Paige. I wonder who sent that note? I'm glad she has Cash there to make sure she's safe. I didn't see anything messed up, quite frankly. It reads very well.
I only saw one missing question mark.
"I wonder if his people own that large plantation north of town by the river(?)"
Great read! Enjoy your trip, Barbara.
Hugs, Av
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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I have fixed that ?. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Now why doesn't surprise me the Walker might own a plantation. lol
Hmm, if he Walker family are broke, why would he be so hoity-toity? I'd think he'd be more understanding of people like Nala.
Uh oh, did Cash put a gun in his pocket?
Oh wow, that note is a throw back to hooded sheets. Cash needs to stay close to Paige even more.
Goodness, you started this chapter making my mouth water (I love fried catfish), and left me worried about Paige and Morgan (I can see some bigot hurting that defenseless pup).
Again, you have another great chapter, with nothing I could see to tweak. Sounding like a broken record here, but in all sincerity, well done.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Now why doesn't surprise me the Walker might own a plantation. lol
Hmm, if he Walker family are broke, why would he be so hoity-toity? I'd think he'd be more understanding of people like Nala.
Uh oh, did Cash put a gun in his pocket?
Oh wow, that note is a throw back to hooded sheets. Cash needs to stay close to Paige even more.
Goodness, you started this chapter making my mouth water (I love fried catfish), and left me worried about Paige and Morgan (I can see some bigot hurting that defenseless pup).
Again, you have another great chapter, with nothing I could see to tweak. Sounding like a broken record here, but in all sincerity, well done.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from MelReyn
Oh man! You are tempting me with that picture of food! It makes me hungry for Captain D's. ;)
"I'm sure Paige won't wake up for a long while."<< That is a little creepy. Since I don't know this Nala character well enough to know if she is friend or foe, I'm left wondering what she meant. Is that an innocent comment or did she slip something in Paige's tea to make her sleep? LOL I'm bad about reading too much between the lines. ;)
This paragraph needs some clarifying:
Cash winked and grinned. "That's a pretty good idea. I'll do just that." <
You said the vet said thinks he's a purebred<< oops, an extra 'said' sneaked its way in after 'the vet'
"Mom, how close is dinner?" Cash took the wiggly << So who is Cash's mom? Faye? Or did someone else say this? As you have it now, it appears Cash is saying that line, so Faye must be Mom.
Faith sounds older than Paige with her teaching everyone the history of the plantation. She must be one smart cookie.
"Won't he see your truck?" Wouldn't that be a good thing? Maybe keep Walker away if he knows someone else is there? Preventive, kind of like the ADT signs in the yard.
Ok, I now see for certain that Faith is Cash's mom. I was very confused and had myself all turned around. I thought Faith was Paige's daughter. Man, did I get that wrong!
I'm a stickler lately for dialogue and speech tags. I don't know if I said this in my last review for the other chapter, but yours is well balanced. Not too many tags, or so few that I don't know who is talking. Good work!
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Oh man! You are tempting me with that picture of food! It makes me hungry for Captain D's. ;)
"I'm sure Paige won't wake up for a long while."<< That is a little creepy. Since I don't know this Nala character well enough to know if she is friend or foe, I'm left wondering what she meant. Is that an innocent comment or did she slip something in Paige's tea to make her sleep? LOL I'm bad about reading too much between the lines. ;)
This paragraph needs some clarifying:
Cash winked and grinned. "That's a pretty good idea. I'll do just that." <
You said the vet said thinks he's a purebred<< oops, an extra 'said' sneaked its way in after 'the vet'
"Mom, how close is dinner?" Cash took the wiggly << So who is Cash's mom? Faye? Or did someone else say this? As you have it now, it appears Cash is saying that line, so Faye must be Mom.
Faith sounds older than Paige with her teaching everyone the history of the plantation. She must be one smart cookie.
"Won't he see your truck?" Wouldn't that be a good thing? Maybe keep Walker away if he knows someone else is there? Preventive, kind of like the ADT signs in the yard.
Ok, I now see for certain that Faith is Cash's mom. I was very confused and had myself all turned around. I thought Faith was Paige's daughter. Man, did I get that wrong!
I'm a stickler lately for dialogue and speech tags. I don't know if I said this in my last review for the other chapter, but yours is well balanced. Not too many tags, or so few that I don't know who is talking. Good work!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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I will check those area out. I thought I took that said out. I don't know how it got back in there. Thank you for the kind review.
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OH MAN. I explained myself much better about the paragraph that needed clarifying, but I accidently deleted it when I was deleting something else. Argh. I spent a lot of time on that too.
I basically said, that the way you have it set up makes it seem strange. He rushes in there and I'm thinking he's going to wake her up and ask her why she's not taking pain pills. Instead he tells the puppy not to wake her. Why did he let the puppy in at all then?
Maybe you should have the puppy run in and he follows to keep him from waking Paige.
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - I've said before that I'm on FS to learn. Boy, what I can learn from you. I struggle sometimes in the switch from narrative to dialog. You are absolutely the master! Your posts read so well. You literally pull your reader through. I'm sad to see them end! Warm regards, Bill
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Barbara - I've said before that I'm on FS to learn. Boy, what I can learn from you. I struggle sometimes in the switch from narrative to dialog. You are absolutely the master! Your posts read so well. You literally pull your reader through. I'm sad to see them end! Warm regards, Bill
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review. And I appreciate the encouraging words.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb
It's go good how you kept your conversation going
To me it makes it more home like.
Good way to get our attention about Morgan (he to me scents something) maybe a ghost?
Gert
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Hi Barb
It's go good how you kept your conversation going
To me it makes it more home like.
Good way to get our attention about Morgan (he to me scents something) maybe a ghost?
Gert
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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I think Morgan just might sense a lot of things. Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome
Gert
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
This story chapter is taking the story forward at a good pace. Mulberry wine, jams, and jellies were also a big favorite in the South. That meal menu made me hungry! Enjoying this tale!
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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This story chapter is taking the story forward at a good pace. Mulberry wine, jams, and jellies were also a big favorite in the South. That meal menu made me hungry! Enjoying this tale!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you for th ekind review.
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You are welcome. MN :)
Comment from Righteous Riter
The chapter has a nice, steady and consistent pace. The chapter is well balanced as the transition between events is smooth. The storyline is clear as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go. The writer does a good job of closing this chapter out and setting up for the next chapter. Nice work.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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The chapter has a nice, steady and consistent pace. The chapter is well balanced as the transition between events is smooth. The storyline is clear as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go. The writer does a good job of closing this chapter out and setting up for the next chapter. Nice work.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Taffspride
An excellent chapter Barbara, and I don't see any where that you might have messed up.
Oh I love catfish, and your description of the catfish dinner has me drooling.
I wonder what happened to, or who got to Billy Joe.
Have a safe and wonderful visit with your parents. I will be looking forward to the next chapter on your return.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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An excellent chapter Barbara, and I don't see any where that you might have messed up.
Oh I love catfish, and your description of the catfish dinner has me drooling.
I wonder what happened to, or who got to Billy Joe.
Have a safe and wonderful visit with your parents. I will be looking forward to the next chapter on your return.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
