Edie and Princess
Hangin' on and lettin' go.44 total reviews
Comment from Patti R.
Too much to love here, hw -
a bit overwhelming, wow!
You are a weaver: threads backing and forthing, doing the dance that creates beauty.
I knew you were this good - but somehow I lost my way!
'she was molded out of tuna and wrapped in canary.' An enormous amount of Reality and Lore sits in this line.
'she wanted the bringing.'...and in this line!
So nice. Thanks.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Too much to love here, hw -
a bit overwhelming, wow!
You are a weaver: threads backing and forthing, doing the dance that creates beauty.
I knew you were this good - but somehow I lost my way!
'she was molded out of tuna and wrapped in canary.' An enormous amount of Reality and Lore sits in this line.
'she wanted the bringing.'...and in this line!
So nice. Thanks.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much, Patricia. I love your comment about weaving. Some readers readers seem to skim the surface and never notice the texture. Thanks for noticing.
And yes, 'she wanted the bringing' is the line I'm most proud of. Thank you again.
Peace, Lee
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Did you just call me Patricia...am I in trouble?!
Comment from kcross11
I can't even read your stories with a reviewer mindset, because they make me laugh too much, and I forget to find improvements. So I just give up, and laugh at your attitude, and your cats, and write a totally pointless review, because I'm still laughing.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I can't even read your stories with a reviewer mindset, because they make me laugh too much, and I forget to find improvements. So I just give up, and laugh at your attitude, and your cats, and write a totally pointless review, because I'm still laughing.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You know, kcross, your remark about reading my stories without 'a reviewer's mindset' means the world to me. It means you read without feeling obliged to judge. It means you trust me enough to let your guard down, and just enjoy. That's as sincere a compliment as I've ever received here.
I'm delighted you're still laughing. If you should read it again, I hope you'll laugh again.
Peace, Lee
Comment from bhogg
Lee - one of my favorites. A stupid story about a cat and love. Only you could have pulled this off. Very professional and enjoyable. Bill
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Lee - one of my favorites. A stupid story about a cat and love. Only you could have pulled this off. Very professional and enjoyable. Bill
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Thank you, Bill. A little bit off my beaten track, eh?
'A stupid story about a cat and love'--Bill, I couldn't have put it better. Thank you.
Peace, Lee
Comment from Spitfire
What a delightful read. Love the reference to Simba from The Lion King. Also, ingenious use of repetition: I was an Edie person. The ghost scene is brilliant, as you always are. The personalities of everyone involved come through.(except for the mouse LOL)
Humor aplenty with reference to yuppies as well as the cats.
Again, every line is a gem, Lee. I do hope you are entering contests off site.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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What a delightful read. Love the reference to Simba from The Lion King. Also, ingenious use of repetition: I was an Edie person. The ghost scene is brilliant, as you always are. The personalities of everyone involved come through.(except for the mouse LOL)
Humor aplenty with reference to yuppies as well as the cats.
Again, every line is a gem, Lee. I do hope you are entering contests off site.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Hey, Shari, thank you. I love it when readers get the little cultural nuggets, like Simba, I try to sprinkle into my stories.
It may be a conceit, but I think offering readers bits of 'shared experience' creates a bond. Am I full of shit?
Thank you so much. Peace, Lee
Comment from barkingdog
You set up this old curmudgeon from the first line. He softens as the write continues.
Love the cul-de-sac being termed Siberia Circle. Tinkerbell with a wheelbarrow intervening on his privacy with progress--how dare they all move in--children, cats, pools, smells, barbecues. UGH!
But then there's Edie. Your repetitions( especially--I was an Edie person) let us really know Sherwood.
Very metaphoric with the last cat(named Princess which Edie was to Sherwood-his princess) being the only one left and from all appearances thinking of starting over with Mr.Yellow(Saturday Night) Fever out side. LOL
If she can do it, maybe so can Sherwood.
Great dialogue with so many punch-lines there are too many to list. But the real meat is in Sherwood's love and dedication for Edie.
Princess will be gone someday. She is the last remnant of Edie. Sherwood like the mouse can still live.
I'm teary eyed now. :) e
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You set up this old curmudgeon from the first line. He softens as the write continues.
Love the cul-de-sac being termed Siberia Circle. Tinkerbell with a wheelbarrow intervening on his privacy with progress--how dare they all move in--children, cats, pools, smells, barbecues. UGH!
But then there's Edie. Your repetitions( especially--I was an Edie person) let us really know Sherwood.
Very metaphoric with the last cat(named Princess which Edie was to Sherwood-his princess) being the only one left and from all appearances thinking of starting over with Mr.Yellow(Saturday Night) Fever out side. LOL
If she can do it, maybe so can Sherwood.
Great dialogue with so many punch-lines there are too many to list. But the real meat is in Sherwood's love and dedication for Edie.
Princess will be gone someday. She is the last remnant of Edie. Sherwood like the mouse can still live.
I'm teary eyed now. :) e
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Ah, Ellen, you have deciphered my writing style. You saw the curmudgeon and the set up right away. Character(s)/ Setting --it's the only way I know how to write. Plot will come if you have a good character and a promising setting.
Sherwood was a delight to write. And easy. I might have the curmudgeon gene myself--recessive, naturally.
But writing about love without having to wash my hands is hard.
Sherwood surprised the hell out of me. This guy knows how to treat a lady ghost.
Thanks for being such a loyal and perceptive reader.
Peace, Lee
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I hate only having five stars for this Lee. You've told more than one love story here and have given us a character study I'll never forget. You've stirred a cauldron of emotions in the process. Not surprised. You're always cooking up something special. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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I hate only having five stars for this Lee. You've told more than one love story here and have given us a character study I'll never forget. You've stirred a cauldron of emotions in the process. Not surprised. You're always cooking up something special. :) Nancy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thank you, Nancy. I'm glad you saw the two different love stories. An old codger like me, it's hard to come up with a Valentine's Day story. Then I saw Yellow Man and Princess across the street. A story was born. Thank you again.
Peace, Lee
Comment from jjstar
Ah, Lee. You've done it again. You continue to amaze me with your incredible skills. No matter what the genre, you are the best. I don't know how you manage to take such a subject as the things we do for love or talking to your love's ghost and turn it into a hilarious, yet poignant, lighthearted, yet deeply thoughtful masterpiece. I'm in awe. :)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Ah, Lee. You've done it again. You continue to amaze me with your incredible skills. No matter what the genre, you are the best. I don't know how you manage to take such a subject as the things we do for love or talking to your love's ghost and turn it into a hilarious, yet poignant, lighthearted, yet deeply thoughtful masterpiece. I'm in awe. :)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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jj, I could not have written a better review if I did--I didn't, did I? 'hilarious, yet poignant'--with visions of sugar plums I couldn't ask for anything more.
And thanks for mentioning 'genre' too. I stepped out a little with this one. I appreciate it when people notice.
Again, I couldn't ask for anything more.
Peace, Lee
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:)
Comment from vickib
Can I say I love you without starting a bunch for cat rumors? Cause I do Lee. You made me laugh and cry and laugh and cry all the way. You are the smartest writer I know in the way you write with flow, wit, wise, humor and the words you use capture my attention as if I was falling in love with a pen, or some can a tuna. I wish I could figure out a way to tell you better than this but I'm a dopy Saint Bernard when it comes to expressing or I should say reviewing. But I could definitely lick you into a slobbery mess for this one. Get it? Get how much I love, love this story. Ok Valentine?
I love the moral of your story Mr. Peace man. I guess I'll think about letting that mouse go myself. My favorite story of yours to date.
Love ya!
Vicki
I need a Kleenex to wipe the strangest combination of emotional tears from my cheeks.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Can I say I love you without starting a bunch for cat rumors? Cause I do Lee. You made me laugh and cry and laugh and cry all the way. You are the smartest writer I know in the way you write with flow, wit, wise, humor and the words you use capture my attention as if I was falling in love with a pen, or some can a tuna. I wish I could figure out a way to tell you better than this but I'm a dopy Saint Bernard when it comes to expressing or I should say reviewing. But I could definitely lick you into a slobbery mess for this one. Get it? Get how much I love, love this story. Ok Valentine?
I love the moral of your story Mr. Peace man. I guess I'll think about letting that mouse go myself. My favorite story of yours to date.
Love ya!
Vicki
I need a Kleenex to wipe the strangest combination of emotional tears from my cheeks.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much, Vicki. Say anything you like. The alternate laughing and crying was what I hoped for. I expect this one hits real close to home, Vicki. I hope it hit somewhere in the 'feel good' range. It means a lot to me that you can read into this story. You know it ain't the mouse, Vicki, it's the bringin'. And it ain't the fish, it's the fishin'.
I'm glad to have touched you.
Peace, Lee
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Well now I'm thinking you are right about the brigin, but also not keep on bringin and keep on the brigin too. Cause be you gotta move on. And amen yes it's not about the fish its the fishin. Thank you for reminding me of that. I only wish I could see the wise man behind that pen sometimes. Visual person I am. Wouldn't matter if you had horns coming out of your head I'd still love you to pieces. Ok maybe the horns would be kinda weird.
Oh, I'd die to write like you. I've been thinking about this story all day. Super Lee, just super.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
person, was (what) could I do?
Why isprerogative always female. Separate is and prerogative.
This story is delightful! I really did enjoy it a lot.I am a cat lover and I had a princess. I love the rambling Sherm did and I don't think him crazy. Sounded like a sweet cranky old gent with a heart of gold. Great Job. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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person, was (what) could I do?
Why isprerogative always female. Separate is and prerogative.
This story is delightful! I really did enjoy it a lot.I am a cat lover and I had a princess. I love the rambling Sherm did and I don't think him crazy. Sounded like a sweet cranky old gent with a heart of gold. Great Job. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much, Nancy. I really appreciate the spag alerts--I have cleaned them up. I, like Sherwood, was 'coaxed' into loving cats, and I'll always be grateful for it. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from L. LLOYD
Excellent job. This story is unique and metaphorical. I like it a lot. Sherwood seems bitter and little bit crazy. I like his character. The story is well done and easy to follow. There a couple of things I noticed though.
The sentence: Hey, I was an Edie person, was could I do? I think you mean what could I do.
The sentence: "Why isperogative female ... need to separate is/prerogative.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Excellent job. This story is unique and metaphorical. I like it a lot. Sherwood seems bitter and little bit crazy. I like his character. The story is well done and easy to follow. There a couple of things I noticed though.
The sentence: Hey, I was an Edie person, was could I do? I think you mean what could I do.
The sentence: "Why isperogative female ... need to separate is/prerogative.
Good luck!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thank you, L. Lloyd. I appreciate the spag alerts, and have cleaned them up. I'm delighted you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee
