Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Chapter 7, Part 6"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
64 total reviews
Comment from Chanphy
I really find this story interesting. Every time there are more interesting details and information to keep the plot moving along nicely. It is never boring, and you always leave the reader wanting and longing for more. Excellent job.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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I really find this story interesting. Every time there are more interesting details and information to keep the plot moving along nicely. It is never boring, and you always leave the reader wanting and longing for more. Excellent job.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
This is another interesting and generally well-written chapter in your book, with just a few small changes to suggest ...
* You have - We need to take a look-see .... (this expression you have used twice.) It is grammatically incorrect and should be - take a look ... (unless, of course, you are intentionally using such words.)
* You have - It ain't neither and looks so ... again, this is incorrect but, perhaps that is how your characters speak.
* You have - Cash lay Paige on the couch ... this should be - Cash laid Paige down on the couch ....
* You have - As Cash and Billy Joe rushed the room - I think you mean - rushed into the room ...
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2013
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Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
This is another interesting and generally well-written chapter in your book, with just a few small changes to suggest ...
* You have - We need to take a look-see .... (this expression you have used twice.) It is grammatically incorrect and should be - take a look ... (unless, of course, you are intentionally using such words.)
* You have - It ain't neither and looks so ... again, this is incorrect but, perhaps that is how your characters speak.
* You have - Cash lay Paige on the couch ... this should be - Cash laid Paige down on the couch ....
* You have - As Cash and Billy Joe rushed the room - I think you mean - rushed into the room ...
Now, I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2013
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I have made a few of the corrections, but the rest were part of Billy Joe's dialogue and he is uneducationed. Thank you for the kind review.
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Thanks for this explanation and yes, of course, such dialogue must be as natural and true-to-life as possible. Perhaps it would be a good idea to put a Note at the end explaining that, in case there is any
"jarring" when it comes to grammar or dialogue. (Just a suggestion!!)
Love - N.M.
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I used to have it in my author's notes and many readers suggested I remove it because people would know that about dialogue. Who knows.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
with Bradley and Alice's name it - on it (maybe)?
Even in the deep south, somebody has to have a laptop. Why go to the library when you can login to it?
Billy Joe really is a sweetheart. I'm loving his character more ever scene he's in.
There's no transition from - He chuckled. "And Paige's too." (to) -
As they continued into the library. It's a bit jarring.
Okay, I see you are talking about the library in the house. Forgot she was living in a huge antebellum. Now the transition makes sense.
Oh wow, so it's Bradley whose house she's in. I remember reading that chapter and it broke my heart.
Nice tie in.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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with Bradley and Alice's name it - on it (maybe)?
Even in the deep south, somebody has to have a laptop. Why go to the library when you can login to it?
Billy Joe really is a sweetheart. I'm loving his character more ever scene he's in.
There's no transition from - He chuckled. "And Paige's too." (to) -
As they continued into the library. It's a bit jarring.
Okay, I see you are talking about the library in the house. Forgot she was living in a huge antebellum. Now the transition makes sense.
Oh wow, so it's Bradley whose house she's in. I remember reading that chapter and it broke my heart.
Nice tie in.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and suggestions.
Comment from Anisa-
Hmmm... A ghost. Interesting. Though, I'd think Paige would be a little more shocked than that? I know I would be. Anyway, good chapter.
A
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Hmmm... A ghost. Interesting. Though, I'd think Paige would be a little more shocked than that? I know I would be. Anyway, good chapter.
A
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Paige sees the ghost as an adventure. It isn't bothering her, yet. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I so enjoyed this chapter, Barbara -
and still think this is the best
work of yours I've ever read. You
have captured the atmosphere of the part
so well - quite chilling.
Only find Morgan and your - Morgan's
See that big dark blue binder[.](?)"
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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I so enjoyed this chapter, Barbara -
and still think this is the best
work of yours I've ever read. You
have captured the atmosphere of the part
so well - quite chilling.
Only find Morgan and your - Morgan's
See that big dark blue binder[.](?)"
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and the encouraging words.
Comment from Taffspride
Had to give you a six for this extremely well written Chapter Barbara. I got the chills when I read of Paige's discovery, more so than the confederate five dollar bill.
As you know I have experienced spirits, so can relate to what happened, and to there being no footprints.
You have captured the mood of the piece so well. The practical versus the unknown. I really like the way you are developing the plot.
(I want more !!! LOL)
Thank you for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Had to give you a six for this extremely well written Chapter Barbara. I got the chills when I read of Paige's discovery, more so than the confederate five dollar bill.
As you know I have experienced spirits, so can relate to what happened, and to there being no footprints.
You have captured the mood of the piece so well. The practical versus the unknown. I really like the way you are developing the plot.
(I want more !!! LOL)
Thank you for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from whispersofthesoul
Hiya,
I am just catching up and I have kinda fast forwarded a bit. And this chapter is just as good as the others. You have a wonderful ability writing realistic dialogue.
You have left me with a dilemma read the chapters I between although that seems futile now or carry on reading from here as I am now left intrigued and wanting more, I guess I have answered my question
Anyway this chapter was easy to read it flowed well and was consistent and it made perfect sense.
Well done
Whispers xx
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Hiya,
I am just catching up and I have kinda fast forwarded a bit. And this chapter is just as good as the others. You have a wonderful ability writing realistic dialogue.
You have left me with a dilemma read the chapters I between although that seems futile now or carry on reading from here as I am now left intrigued and wanting more, I guess I have answered my question
Anyway this chapter was easy to read it flowed well and was consistent and it made perfect sense.
Well done
Whispers xx
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouragement.
Comment from RJFunston
This is an amazing chapter. Your style is so easy and clear. You have such a way of drawing the reader into your story. Your writing is complete and written with such imagination. You truly write what people what to read, it is art, beautiful in every sense. I do a lot of reading, some is bad, other stuff can hold me for a bit, and then you have the really good writing that holds me, making me want more. That is what your writing does for me. You're chapter is awesome, your writing is amazing.
Great job.
Robert
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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This is an amazing chapter. Your style is so easy and clear. You have such a way of drawing the reader into your story. Your writing is complete and written with such imagination. You truly write what people what to read, it is art, beautiful in every sense. I do a lot of reading, some is bad, other stuff can hold me for a bit, and then you have the really good writing that holds me, making me want more. That is what your writing does for me. You're chapter is awesome, your writing is amazing.
Great job.
Robert
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nor84
"Nope, we could only find Morgan (Morgan's)and your footprints, i.e. Morgan's footprints plus your own footprints. I think it needs the apostrophe.
Just before they reached the bottom step, Paige turned her head toward a whimpering sound.>>>The sound should really come before 'turned her head.'
"See that big dark blue binder(?)"
"What's so important you're risking hurting your ankle?" >>>I recommend: "What's so important you'd risk hurting your ankle?" because it gets rid of two consecutive 'ing' words.
Good job with this. I like the southern biscuits and gravy being mentioned. I married an Okie, and that's Southern. Before that, never thought of biscuits or gravy for breakfast.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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"Nope, we could only find Morgan (Morgan's)and your footprints, i.e. Morgan's footprints plus your own footprints. I think it needs the apostrophe.
Just before they reached the bottom step, Paige turned her head toward a whimpering sound.>>>The sound should really come before 'turned her head.'
"See that big dark blue binder(?)"
"What's so important you're risking hurting your ankle?" >>>I recommend: "What's so important you'd risk hurting your ankle?" because it gets rid of two consecutive 'ing' words.
Good job with this. I like the southern biscuits and gravy being mentioned. I married an Okie, and that's Southern. Before that, never thought of biscuits or gravy for breakfast.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and suggestions.
Comment from Mad Marvin
Barbara,
Heh, so it's sort of a ghost story now? Interesting. I'm curious as to whether you will lean towards the supernatural or a "guy in a bed-sheet" so to speak. It can go either way (unless I missed a key point a few installations ago), and both directions are an entertaining prospect. In any case, you've once again proven that you can tell a story whilst giving dialogue as the majority text. Some see this as lazy writing, but if done right I see it as skill (you're of the "done right" group).
Nice oak tree, by the way.
May you be further inspired.
Sincerely,
Mad Marvin
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Barbara,
Heh, so it's sort of a ghost story now? Interesting. I'm curious as to whether you will lean towards the supernatural or a "guy in a bed-sheet" so to speak. It can go either way (unless I missed a key point a few installations ago), and both directions are an entertaining prospect. In any case, you've once again proven that you can tell a story whilst giving dialogue as the majority text. Some see this as lazy writing, but if done right I see it as skill (you're of the "done right" group).
Nice oak tree, by the way.
May you be further inspired.
Sincerely,
Mad Marvin
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and encouraging words.
