Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Chapter 7, Part 1"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
63 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Well, you got me, Barb.
I figured it was Cash who came back and took care of her. So, since she called him, the household ghost must have taken care of her. But, no never mind, Cash will carry on. I have faith!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014
  |
Well, you got me, Barb.
I figured it was Cash who came back and took care of her. So, since she called him, the household ghost must have taken care of her. But, no never mind, Cash will carry on. I have faith!
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax ('-')
Comment Written 07-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2014
-
I hope it was the household guess. Who knows. LOL You're too kind.
Comment from Sankey
Hmm who picked her up huh?? Blackbeard maybe??
I knew something creepy was coming soon.
Good work. Lots of suspense.
First little bit of Spag.
A(t) least you're
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
|
Hmm who picked her up huh?? Blackbeard maybe??
I knew something creepy was coming soon.
Good work. Lots of suspense.
First little bit of Spag.
A(t) least you're
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. We will find that our pretty soon too.
Comment from justmarly
AYou missed a T
You are so smart with your English I wish I were. I love your story. BUT who on earth picked her up wow. Exciting! MJ
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
|
A
You are so smart with your English I wish I were. I love your story. BUT who on earth picked her up wow. Exciting! MJ
Comment Written 18-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2013
-
I so appreciate you.
-
I'm happy to know you appreciate my read. You are a good writer. MJ
-
I'm happy to know you appreciate my read. You are a good writer. MJ
Comment from mumsyone
Good chapter, Barbara. I'm sorry I got so far behind in reviewing them. I've been reviewing whatever pops up in front of me instead of what's on the first page.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
|
Good chapter, Barbara. I'm sorry I got so far behind in reviewing them. I've been reviewing whatever pops up in front of me instead of what's on the first page.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
The following is missing a period.
"Yourself will be enough." He grinned
I believe the following is missing a word
After removing the wet outer clothes, blankets (were) tucked in around her.
The chapter itself was interesting and Paige's reaction to the pup very believable.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
|
The following is missing a period.
"Yourself will be enough." He grinned
I believe the following is missing a word
After removing the wet outer clothes, blankets (were) tucked in around her.
The chapter itself was interesting and Paige's reaction to the pup very believable.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2013
-
I had were there a somebody told me to take it out. I will put it back Thank you for the eagle eye.
Comment from JeffreyStone
Pretty exciting stuff. Nice dialogue and narrative. I like the way you describe the interplay between Page and the puppie. You left us hanging with a suspenseful ending (nicely done). If I were the author, I might use more pronouns. For my taste, "Page" is a little overused. This is something always on my mind when I write. I usually make that kind of change during review and rewrite. FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. JeffreyStone
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Pretty exciting stuff. Nice dialogue and narrative. I like the way you describe the interplay between Page and the puppie. You left us hanging with a suspenseful ending (nicely done). If I were the author, I might use more pronouns. For my taste, "Page" is a little overused. This is something always on my mind when I write. I usually make that kind of change during review and rewrite. FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH. JeffreyStone
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
I have been hit many times for using too many pronouns. Matter of fact when I went for the Quality Seal for one of my novels I didn't get it and one reason was too many pronouns, so I try NOT to use them. I may have over done it. I will recheck. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice piece of writing that drips with love and care. Between Paige and her puppy, there's a lot of love. Also between Paige and Cash. Very well written. cheers
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
This is a nice piece of writing that drips with love and care. Between Paige and her puppy, there's a lot of love. Also between Paige and Cash. Very well written. cheers
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Karen Payton Holt
Ooh mysterious ending...
Nice brisk pace and good descriptions.
One nit to consider...lightning flashes, and thunder crashes, so 'Lightning crashed as it hit the ground'? It would be the thing it hit maybe, the tree cracking, or something else crashing?
But great story. Great writing.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Ooh mysterious ending...
Nice brisk pace and good descriptions.
One nit to consider...lightning flashes, and thunder crashes, so 'Lightning crashed as it hit the ground'? It would be the thing it hit maybe, the tree cracking, or something else crashing?
But great story. Great writing.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from BethShelby
Well if the ghost rescued her, he must be a nice ghost to have around. This is turning into a real mystery. I'm anxious to read what happens next.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Well if the ghost rescued her, he must be a nice ghost to have around. This is turning into a real mystery. I'm anxious to read what happens next.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rama devi
Second review
:)
First review (FOUR stars)
Hi dear B.
Another very good chapter with excellent POV, very true to life dialog and good detail in narrative as well.
I did notice a few things that could use tweaking and fine tuning...suggestions below:
As Paige watched Cash walk down the steps toward his pickup, she held the pup while she stroked his head.
Suggest not repeating the pronoun. Perhaps using a gerund would help:
As Paige watched Cash walk down the steps toward his pickup, she held the pup while stroking his head.
* For sake of flow, suggest removing comma after WHEEL:
Before Cash climbed behind the steering wheel, he called,
* 'Bye."
I understand the ' is because some say good bye, but in USA many people say BYE as opposed to GOODBYE, so I think it can be written without the ' sign.
*She fell and rolled slowly down the small slope(,) landing against an Oak tree.
ALSO, names of trees need not be capped, except in a title. (I looked it up).
* After removing the wet outer clothes, blankets were tucked in around her.
Rather than WERE TUCKED, maybe try TUCKED IN
...blankets tucked in around her.
Just a thought!
*She saw her cell phone on the nightstand, pressed Cash's number, and waited for him to answer.
Seeing the cell and pressing it require a transition of picking it up. Instead of adding a verb, maybe change SAW to GRABBED?
She grabbed her cell phone...
or
She saw her cell phone on the nightstand, grabbed it, pressed Cash's number, and waited for him to answer.
As usual, this is well paced and easy to read.
Do let me know if you make edits, please...
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
|
Second review
:)
First review (FOUR stars)
Hi dear B.
Another very good chapter with excellent POV, very true to life dialog and good detail in narrative as well.
I did notice a few things that could use tweaking and fine tuning...suggestions below:
As Paige watched Cash walk down the steps toward his pickup, she held the pup while she stroked his head.
Suggest not repeating the pronoun. Perhaps using a gerund would help:
As Paige watched Cash walk down the steps toward his pickup, she held the pup while stroking his head.
* For sake of flow, suggest removing comma after WHEEL:
Before Cash climbed behind the steering wheel, he called,
* 'Bye."
I understand the ' is because some say good bye, but in USA many people say BYE as opposed to GOODBYE, so I think it can be written without the ' sign.
*She fell and rolled slowly down the small slope(,) landing against an Oak tree.
ALSO, names of trees need not be capped, except in a title. (I looked it up).
* After removing the wet outer clothes, blankets were tucked in around her.
Rather than WERE TUCKED, maybe try TUCKED IN
...blankets tucked in around her.
Just a thought!
*She saw her cell phone on the nightstand, pressed Cash's number, and waited for him to answer.
Seeing the cell and pressing it require a transition of picking it up. Instead of adding a verb, maybe change SAW to GRABBED?
She grabbed her cell phone...
or
She saw her cell phone on the nightstand, grabbed it, pressed Cash's number, and waited for him to answer.
As usual, this is well paced and easy to read.
Do let me know if you make edits, please...
Love,
rd
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review. I have made the corrections.
-
:-)
-
Thank you.
