Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Chapter 6, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
69 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter cash and paige attend church and then go home to have dinner with his mom. you made me hungry with that picture--no potatoes for me though--i've gone almost two months without them
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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this is very well written, barbara, you did an excellent job writing this chapter cash and paige attend church and then go home to have dinner with his mom. you made me hungry with that picture--no potatoes for me though--i've gone almost two months without them
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
Your dialogue exchanges are good as is the structure with various paragraph length.
I spotted the same nits as Brooke did and a couple of typos that other reviewers nailed, so I'm not repeating them.
Although nicely written, this chapter part drags a bit. Kind of ho-hum conversation. Most church-related gatherings are a bore anyway.
However, this is a romance novel, not an action story. I guess it fits the formula.
Note: I don't think you need to keep telling readers about errors in dialogue and that chapters are short. Your chapters are the length YOU want them to be, it's your call so long as you know how the pieces fit.
With the exception of a few helpful reviews, the majority that I read, are pure fluff.
Ted
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Hi Barbara :)
Your dialogue exchanges are good as is the structure with various paragraph length.
I spotted the same nits as Brooke did and a couple of typos that other reviewers nailed, so I'm not repeating them.
Although nicely written, this chapter part drags a bit. Kind of ho-hum conversation. Most church-related gatherings are a bore anyway.
However, this is a romance novel, not an action story. I guess it fits the formula.
Note: I don't think you need to keep telling readers about errors in dialogue and that chapters are short. Your chapters are the length YOU want them to be, it's your call so long as you know how the pieces fit.
With the exception of a few helpful reviews, the majority that I read, are pure fluff.
Ted
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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I have taken hits because the chapters have been too short. I have made the corrections that the reviewers have suggested. Thank you for the kind review.
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Hi :)
I have to say it, Barb, if your reviewers are giving you gigs for short chapters, they haven't a clue about writing a novel.
As a friend who has seen your efforts grow over a few years, I'm telling you this; stop listening to bad suggestions. Short chapters are reader friendly and help to move a novel forward and amp up the pace. Chapter lengths should vary from long, medium and short. I mean as brief as one or two pages.
Tell those who give you flack for short chapters to read some current bestselling fiction. They will find short chapters.
No offense, but you worry way too much about what an uninformed FS reviewer might say.
Short chapters can work as a tool to move the story along. Ignore those who say otherwise.
On the other hand, I've caught several chapters, in your current novel, that are way too long. They tend to drag the plot down.
I have no idea where your FS reviewers get such bad Intel.
You're doing fine and your writing has improved big time.
Ted
Comment from Nanashirley
Another fun chapter. You are a master at interplay with the characters. It is so natural I could be standing there. I saw no need for editing as usual.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Another fun chapter. You are a master at interplay with the characters. It is so natural I could be standing there. I saw no need for editing as usual.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
That photo made me feel hungry. Paige gets to meet Cash's mother. His mother seems to like her.
That was really something to hear that the minister used to be an alcoholic fighter. He ought to get a lot converts. LOL. I enjoyed the chapter. :o)
April
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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That photo made me feel hungry. Paige gets to meet Cash's mother. His mother seems to like her.
That was really something to hear that the minister used to be an alcoholic fighter. He ought to get a lot converts. LOL. I enjoyed the chapter. :o)
April
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles Barb what a natural way of writing about the Pastor, the church,the chicken dinner and the tasty sounding peach cobbler.
Along with the conversation about boxing
Thank you
Gert
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Smiles Barb what a natural way of writing about the Pastor, the church,the chicken dinner and the tasty sounding peach cobbler.
Along with the conversation about boxing
Thank you
Gert
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
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you are welcome Barb
Gert
Comment from donaldww
This is an excellent chapter as the story moves forward to the fishing. I'm glad you didn't include every detail of the church service. Although it helps to solidify the setting and community feel, the details of a service could slow down or shift direction of the story.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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This is an excellent chapter as the story moves forward to the fishing. I'm glad you didn't include every detail of the church service. Although it helps to solidify the setting and community feel, the details of a service could slow down or shift direction of the story.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
This is another excellent chapter as Paige and Cash continue to discover more about each other. It was interesting how Paige reacted to the church service. She learned that southern preachers can get rather loud and often do. I love being a spectator as the two spar with one another. Your descriptions are vivid, and my mind's eye has no problem focusing on the action. I look forward to the next post.
Godspeed,
Curtis
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Barbara,
This is another excellent chapter as Paige and Cash continue to discover more about each other. It was interesting how Paige reacted to the church service. She learned that southern preachers can get rather loud and often do. I love being a spectator as the two spar with one another. Your descriptions are vivid, and my mind's eye has no problem focusing on the action. I look forward to the next post.
Godspeed,
Curtis
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
Here we learn a bit more about Cash and the church he attends. I loved this chapter. To begin with, the picture shows a perfectly Southern dinner - I'll bet the beans were cooked all day.
I thoroughly enjoyed this read and have several comments:
"Faye turned from the stove and smiled. "Peach cobbler." It was only after my father moved us to Georgia that I found out what peach cobbler is.
"How [What] do you smash 'tators with up North?"
"There's some in the congregation that don't take to [too] kindly to his former profession." In fact, I wondered about this at the time, but you do a grand job of explaining it here. Of course, some of the congregation wouldn't like it. Excellent example of "showing, even if you had to delay the explanation."
Dave
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Barbara,
Here we learn a bit more about Cash and the church he attends. I loved this chapter. To begin with, the picture shows a perfectly Southern dinner - I'll bet the beans were cooked all day.
I thoroughly enjoyed this read and have several comments:
"Faye turned from the stove and smiled. "Peach cobbler." It was only after my father moved us to Georgia that I found out what peach cobbler is.
"How [What] do you smash 'tators with up North?"
"There's some in the congregation that don't take to [too] kindly to his former profession." In fact, I wondered about this at the time, but you do a grand job of explaining it here. Of course, some of the congregation wouldn't like it. Excellent example of "showing, even if you had to delay the explanation."
Dave
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and the catches. I bet Cash's mom has bacon in the beans too, What do you think?
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Barbara
Of course, unless it's salt pork instead. My wife found that beans cooked with salt pork taste a bit better. To be sure, hog jowls are the best, but they're not available most of the year. If this story extends to New Year's Day, you could use the hog jowls (with black eye peas).
Dave
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Hopefully it over by then, it's only the middle of July now.
Comment from judiverse
Great atmosphere and good humor in this. Hey, how did you know what I had for lunch today--biscuit, fried chicken, green beans. I did skip the mashed potatoes, though. That was a cute bit in your story about the potato masher. Interesting characterization of Rev. Ben as an alcoholic who found the Lord and became a minister. And a boxer for a good cause. Faye takes a liking to Paige, and she seems like a lovely woman. I like Cash's surprise when Paige says she bought her outfit at a thrift store. Shows she's a regular person. Great atmosphere and characterization. judi
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Great atmosphere and good humor in this. Hey, how did you know what I had for lunch today--biscuit, fried chicken, green beans. I did skip the mashed potatoes, though. That was a cute bit in your story about the potato masher. Interesting characterization of Rev. Ben as an alcoholic who found the Lord and became a minister. And a boxer for a good cause. Faye takes a liking to Paige, and she seems like a lovely woman. I like Cash's surprise when Paige says she bought her outfit at a thrift store. Shows she's a regular person. Great atmosphere and characterization. judi
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and kind words.
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You're most welcome. judi
Comment from Gungalo
Sounds real down homey here girl. First church and then a home cooked southern fried chicken dinner. The are going to get along just fine aren't they?
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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Sounds real down homey here girl. First church and then a home cooked southern fried chicken dinner. The are going to get along just fine aren't they?
Comment Written 02-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2012
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I think Cash and Paige still have some hurdles. Thank you for the kind review.
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Most definitely.
