Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Chapter 5, part 4"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
65 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn Hilliard
OH- what a good place to stop. Leaving us in suspense. I'd bet you enjoyed writing this part, Barbara. Enjoyed it and look forward to the next.
Blessings,
Carolyn
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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OH- what a good place to stop. Leaving us in suspense. I'd bet you enjoyed writing this part, Barbara. Enjoyed it and look forward to the next.
Blessings,
Carolyn
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Yes, I did. I always try to leave a hook. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
This is a short chapter but interesting and because you are well covered by saying that some of what you write is intentionally erroneous, I have made a note of just a few places where you may consider changes ....
* You have - and we'll talk Monday ... which should be -
and we'll talk on Monday.
* You have - I wonder where the TV's at? Do you mean -
I wonder where the TV is ...
* You have - you have any extra cable wire? This should be - Do you have any extra cable wire?
Thank you for sharing this. I now look forward to your next chapter to learn about the 'somebody' who is in the house.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Hullo Barbara Wilkey ....
This is a short chapter but interesting and because you are well covered by saying that some of what you write is intentionally erroneous, I have made a note of just a few places where you may consider changes ....
* You have - and we'll talk Monday ... which should be -
and we'll talk on Monday.
* You have - I wonder where the TV's at? Do you mean -
I wonder where the TV is ...
* You have - you have any extra cable wire? This should be - Do you have any extra cable wire?
Thank you for sharing this. I now look forward to your next chapter to learn about the 'somebody' who is in the house.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Otto Loewi
Good chapter. They set up a TV to see the game (I hope they bought the special cord for HD). And is there a ghost in the house? It would describe the laughter and the "wind".
Just a couple things I think you should consider revising:
"His muscles bulge"-- not sure why this is in italics. Is it someone thinking?
"Whoa!!"--exclamation points are generally frowned upon, so two seemed like too, too much.
Again, nice work.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Good chapter. They set up a TV to see the game (I hope they bought the special cord for HD). And is there a ghost in the house? It would describe the laughter and the "wind".
Just a couple things I think you should consider revising:
"His muscles bulge"-- not sure why this is in italics. Is it someone thinking?
"Whoa!!"--exclamation points are generally frowned upon, so two seemed like too, too much.
Again, nice work.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Yes, Paige is thinking, that's why I used italics. I will check out the !. I usually don't use them and have been gigged for not using them.
Comment from mtnspirit
Hi barbara,
This is a good chapter. Paige seems to blend right in with the others and gets along well with them. I'm glad they all got to hear a bit of the ghost musings. I must say I was afraid you were going to tell us that the tv had been knocked over and broken. I look forward to your next chapter and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Hi barbara,
This is a good chapter. Paige seems to blend right in with the others and gets along well with them. I'm glad they all got to hear a bit of the ghost musings. I must say I was afraid you were going to tell us that the tv had been knocked over and broken. I look forward to your next chapter and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from adewpearl
I better get home. My - I added the period
Excellent dialogue that sounds natural - I like the teasing quality of the conversation among friends
You build suspense well with the unexplained happenings :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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I better get home. My - I added the period
Excellent dialogue that sounds natural - I like the teasing quality of the conversation among friends
You build suspense well with the unexplained happenings :-) Brooke
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and the catch.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara,
This is another excellent chapter. The action is good, and the character interaction works well. The football game on Paige's big-screen TV provides the setting for a good social evening with Cash. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next.
Curtis
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Barbara,
This is another excellent chapter. The action is good, and the character interaction works well. The football game on Paige's big-screen TV provides the setting for a good social evening with Cash. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next.
Curtis
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mai Mai
This is a really interesting piece. I love your character development, it seems very natural. I also like the spooky feel you've given, especially towards the end. Great work. Good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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This is a really interesting piece. I love your character development, it seems very natural. I also like the spooky feel you've given, especially towards the end. Great work. Good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Yes, your characters and the storyline are developing well. It seems kind of ironic to have a flat screen TV in a historical house. Of course I have a computer in my formal dining room, LOL. Great chapter!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Yes, your characters and the storyline are developing well. It seems kind of ironic to have a flat screen TV in a historical house. Of course I have a computer in my formal dining room, LOL. Great chapter!!! Debbie
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jjstar
Great continuation. Love the playfulness and maybe a little ease Paige is finally beginning to feel? I hope she continues to let her hair down a little more because I feel like she could really be a lively, fun, colorful character.
Loved the ending thump! :)
"It's not necessary. I'm sure you have other ===come on, Paige...don't be a stick in the mud!
"Did you hear Paige's suggestion.(?)
Cahs walked==typo Cash?
I'll it set on the table, ????
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Great continuation. Love the playfulness and maybe a little ease Paige is finally beginning to feel? I hope she continues to let her hair down a little more because I feel like she could really be a lively, fun, colorful character.
Loved the ending thump! :)
"It's not necessary. I'm sure you have other ===come on, Paige...don't be a stick in the mud!
"Did you hear Paige's suggestion.(?)
Cahs walked==typo Cash?
I'll it set on the table, ????
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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I had corrected all of them but the question mark one. Thank you for catching it. I appreciate the help.
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My pleasure. I keep wondering how you even have time to post. I'm trying really hard to keep up, but can't seem to focus long enough on any of my tasks to do any of them well. I'll start planning and then have to run to the store or do laundry, dinner, dishes..back to planning, grading..constantly interrupted...my hat is off to you for finding the time to write and post. You're amazing! :)
Comment from judiverse
I say you're doing a great job with the characters and you bring in the spooky happenings as part of the story. In the last part, for example, it's when they're dealing with the TV that they conclude there's someone else in the house. And it's not Billy Joe. Paige shows that even with her Boston background and wealth, she can get along with friends like Mary Pat and Mala. She's even willing to put up with an evening a game on TV. Great going so far, and wonderful atmosphere. judi
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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I say you're doing a great job with the characters and you bring in the spooky happenings as part of the story. In the last part, for example, it's when they're dealing with the TV that they conclude there's someone else in the house. And it's not Billy Joe. Paige shows that even with her Boston background and wealth, she can get along with friends like Mary Pat and Mala. She's even willing to put up with an evening a game on TV. Great going so far, and wonderful atmosphere. judi
Comment Written 04-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and words of encouragement.
