Reviews from

Savannah Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Chapter 5, part 4"
Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?

65 total reviews 
Comment from Mishelly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This post had a great ending, and I can't wait to read the next one. I read your author notes, and I completely understand about not being able to describe your characters in each post. You have to write it in the same way as any book which gets published. Sometimes I'll write she brushed her curls back - or - he ran his fingers through his dark hair, etc. But apart from that I don't waste too much time describing after the first couple of posts.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    I took some hits on my last post because I didn't. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Terror2s
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"I know Paula had cable, because we discussed it."
I do not believe a comma goes before "because". I enjoyed your story as usual. T2

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    Normally I would agree, but I is the subject of the first part and we is the subject of the second part. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Terror2s on 04-Nov-2012
    I did not know of that rule. I will have to look it up. Thanks for the tip.
Comment from Connie P
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A very enjoyable chapter, Barbara. I love the easy way these friends relate and now a bit of suspense. I found no errors to correct.
It deserves a six for sure!
Connie

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and continued support.
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another wonderful addition to the story. i hope this is the ghost making an appearance.


Within minutes(,) the flat screen TV
sat

"I wonder where the (that or her) TV's at?"(otherwise it's a bit confusion about why they are looking for a Tv when they already have a TV
on the table.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    I had that, then changed it. I will put that back. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A fun chapter this, until the end when it got a bit spooky! I enjoyed the banter between the guys and the gals.

Now then. What the heck was that thump? Good hook to leave us on, Barbara.

Av

I wonder if he'll take me out with my new look." - Not sure if this should have a question mark.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara,

So the possible spooks are disturbing what was planned to be a relaxing evening watching baseball. Actually, I hope it's a ghost and not that slimebucket at the end of the previous chapter.

I enjoyed this read and have one suggestion:

"I wasn't here, yet. So they made due [do]."

Here in Dalton, we have a few mansions built over a hundred years ago. The one across the street from where my wife grew up was built in the 1850's.

Dave

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    Has it been restored? I will fix that do. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Dave M on 04-Nov-2012
    Yes, Barbara. That antebellum house is now office space, and the restoration is beautiful. Unfortunately, another antebellum house down the street, made of bricks, essentially crumbled and had to be torn down.

    Dave
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    What a shame for the other house.
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another good chapter, Barbara.

I wasn't here, yet. So they made due (do)."

"I wonder where the TV's (cable's?) at?"

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    I wondered about the do vs due. I wasn't sure. Thank you.
Comment from AprilShower
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted



Now we're getting to the mystery within the story now. They hear a chuckle and a thump. I wonder who's there. Could there be tunnel under the house and someone knows about it?

Barbara, books often have a lot more than 20,000 words. Well done. :o)

April

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    I put that in my author's notes because I took some major hits on my last post because I didn't describe my characters enough. This novel will probably be around 60,000 words. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Turning into a good ghost story, the noises and such. Also the relationships with the characters are becoming more refined. I wish you were posting more often but it's worth the wait.

Just one run-on sentence in dialogue early on.

I better get home(.) (M)y young'uns

E

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    I have fixed that. Somebody already caught it, but thank you for the catch. I appreciate it. I only have time to post on the weekend. I barely have time for that. I am so missing your writing.
reply by elgone on 04-Nov-2012
    The thing I'm writing now is a backstory for the sci-fi fantasy thing I wrote about Wolfcats. There is a period that one of the characters in that story is away on Earth. So this story is what happens while she is here. I wrote it before the Wolfcat books were completed - I kind of had to if you think about it.

    E
Comment from MumEsGirl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Love the image of the house as it adds greatly to my following of the story.

Nice dialogue and flow as always and just the right length to keep your reader in suspense for the next installment.

I sense some ghosts in the offing
hugs
kate

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 04-Nov-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.