Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Chapter 5, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
73 total reviews
Comment from mtnspirit
Hi barbara,
I can see that Cash is becoming a bit overly protective and his attitude is beginning to border on the nosy side. Paige is starting to notice the jealousy so I feel it won't be long before the two are taking steps toward a more serious relationship.
Good job with your writing. It is a pleasure to have read and reviewed.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Hi barbara,
I can see that Cash is becoming a bit overly protective and his attitude is beginning to border on the nosy side. Paige is starting to notice the jealousy so I feel it won't be long before the two are taking steps toward a more serious relationship.
Good job with your writing. It is a pleasure to have read and reviewed.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Barbara:)
Cash seems to be overprotective of Paige and did I detect a hint of jealousy when Maurice showed up?
Maybe Cash is almost ready to demonstrate his back-rubbing ability. I seem to remember from long ago, that a neck massage was a great prelude to relaxation and lowered inhibitions.
Love and Irish Hugs,
Roger
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Hi Barbara:)
Cash seems to be overprotective of Paige and did I detect a hint of jealousy when Maurice showed up?
Maybe Cash is almost ready to demonstrate his back-rubbing ability. I seem to remember from long ago, that a neck massage was a great prelude to relaxation and lowered inhibitions.
Love and Irish Hugs,
Roger
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I think Cash may have a few more issues with Maurice, but we will have to see.
Comment from Chris Tee
Another excellent pert and one that creates anticipation with this massage guy. Well done Barbara with this splendid write. It is a pleasure to review great work like this.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Another excellent pert and one that creates anticipation with this massage guy. Well done Barbara with this splendid write. It is a pleasure to review great work like this.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gungalo
Far be it from me to ask about the picture girl. LOLOLOL. Sounds as if Cash doesn't exactly trust this guy Maurice. But he was just hired to do the party, no?
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Far be it from me to ask about the picture girl. LOLOLOL. Sounds as if Cash doesn't exactly trust this guy Maurice. But he was just hired to do the party, no?
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Yes, but Cash has other issues with Maurice too. Thank you for the kind review.
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It figures eh?
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write and has good imagery. I enjoyed your chapter Barbara, THE STORY WAS EASY TO Read and kept my interest from start to finish. No changes needed to your well written story. Mary
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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A good write and has good imagery. I enjoyed your chapter Barbara, THE STORY WAS EASY TO Read and kept my interest from start to finish. No changes needed to your well written story. Mary
Comment Written 22-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Barbara, this is a great chapter, yet again - I do have one suggestion, and this time it isn't an edit, so I hope I don't offend - there's nothing really wrong with it, I just found it could use dialogue - it's right at the end. Paige could speak her goodbye. I loved it, as usual though! (Still no sixes allowed!)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Barbara, this is a great chapter, yet again - I do have one suggestion, and this time it isn't an edit, so I hope I don't offend - there's nothing really wrong with it, I just found it could use dialogue - it's right at the end. Paige could speak her goodbye. I loved it, as usual though! (Still no sixes allowed!)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I always appreciate the help.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
I didn't catch any SPAG, but then, I'm not the best SPAG hunter.
You really don't need to defend grammar errors in dialogue unless there are misspellings.
This chapter segment reads a bit flat with stilted dialogue. I know you can do better.
Ted
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Hi Barbara :)
I didn't catch any SPAG, but then, I'm not the best SPAG hunter.
You really don't need to defend grammar errors in dialogue unless there are misspellings.
This chapter segment reads a bit flat with stilted dialogue. I know you can do better.
Ted
Comment Written 21-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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I will take another look at it. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're Welcome :)
Comment from Mishelly
Paige may wonder why Cash doesn't like Maurice, but for me it's obvious how much Cash likes her. I also liked the teasing about Cash having his fingernails done. This shows the ease these two characters have with each other.
I also love the photo with the kittens. Very cute :-)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Paige may wonder why Cash doesn't like Maurice, but for me it's obvious how much Cash likes her. I also liked the teasing about Cash having his fingernails done. This shows the ease these two characters have with each other.
I also love the photo with the kittens. Very cute :-)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review,
Comment from Curly Girly
It read well to me, I could find no obvious errors or need of corrections. Best wishes with your story, a cute image choice, but I'm not sure if it fits in with this chapter. CG
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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It read well to me, I could find no obvious errors or need of corrections. Best wishes with your story, a cute image choice, but I'm not sure if it fits in with this chapter. CG
Comment Written 21-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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I am sure it doesn't fit the chapter, but I liked the picture. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from donaldww
Cash shows up early enough to give Paige a little morning surprise. Then Maurice, the masseuse shows up. Of course, Cash offers to give her a free back rub as he decries the amount of money Maurice makes for what he considers work that doesn't qualify as a "real job."
I like the funny line: "call if this Maurice guy gets out of hand."
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Cash shows up early enough to give Paige a little morning surprise. Then Maurice, the masseuse shows up. Of course, Cash offers to give her a free back rub as he decries the amount of money Maurice makes for what he considers work that doesn't qualify as a "real job."
I like the funny line: "call if this Maurice guy gets out of hand."
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 21-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
