Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Chapter 4, Part 5"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
74 total reviews
Comment from Taffspride
I really enjoyed this chapter. The more I read of this story the more it makes me want to go to Savannah.
The way you tell the ghostly tales gives me goose bumps. You make each one read as though the guide is right here telling it.
I did notice one little error:
Blackbeard's corpse swan around Maynard's ship. Do you mean swam?
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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I really enjoyed this chapter. The more I read of this story the more it makes me want to go to Savannah.
The way you tell the ghostly tales gives me goose bumps. You make each one read as though the guide is right here telling it.
I did notice one little error:
Blackbeard's corpse swan around Maynard's ship. Do you mean swam?
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from lewische
This is an environment I know very little about (based in the UK) and found it really interesting. I haven't read any previous chapters, as I'm fairly new to the website, but it certainly made me want to read more! Your research is detailed and adds to the storyline. So often, romance novels are light and insubstantial in context, but this is rich and full of information, too. Thank you for an interesting read - looking forward to the next!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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This is an environment I know very little about (based in the UK) and found it really interesting. I haven't read any previous chapters, as I'm fairly new to the website, but it certainly made me want to read more! Your research is detailed and adds to the storyline. So often, romance novels are light and insubstantial in context, but this is rich and full of information, too. Thank you for an interesting read - looking forward to the next!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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My romances aren't your usual rip the clothes off and get in bed. Mine always have a plot behind them. I enjoyed your review.
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You are very welcome!
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Hmmm, sounds like something has got Savannah's ghosts a bit storred up all right. The kid fainting is a nice touch.
One correction for you -
"Anne Bonny was the illegitment daughter - I think "illegitemate" - unless this is a localism ...
Patrick
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Hi Barbara,
Hmmm, sounds like something has got Savannah's ghosts a bit storred up all right. The kid fainting is a nice touch.
One correction for you -
"Anne Bonny was the illegitment daughter - I think "illegitemate" - unless this is a localism ...
Patrick
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
I can't seem to get that word write, first my spell check failed me and then when I went to correct it I still messed it up. Holy Cow!!! Hopefully I have it correct now. Thank you for the catch and the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter. I'm glad that smart ended kid faited. That put a comical twist in the story for us that has been following the tour. can't wait to find out about what they see in the window. Wonderful job.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Great chapter. I'm glad that smart ended kid faited. That put a comical twist in the story for us that has been following the tour. can't wait to find out about what they see in the window. Wonderful job.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I really enjoyed hearing about all the ghosts, even if it creep me out. Seeing Blackbeard's head with beard on fire seems impossible. However, everyone saw it so who am I to doubt what they saw? Your stories are always interesting and a joy to read and this one is no exception. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Hi Barbara,
I really enjoyed hearing about all the ghosts, even if it creep me out. Seeing Blackbeard's head with beard on fire seems impossible. However, everyone saw it so who am I to doubt what they saw? Your stories are always interesting and a joy to read and this one is no exception. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. We will have to wait and see a while to see what's going on.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh Barbara, my ghost!!! Yay! I enjoyed this chapter very much, although I must say something, and I pray you won't be offended (but I would want you to tell me if you felt it in one of the chapters of my book). It's not a huge issue, just a slight impression, but I get the feeling some parts were a little rushed - there could have been a bit more build-up, for example, before the teenager fainted. One other slight thing I noticed, but caution - this one may just be me (LOL) - I found the description in the second paragraph a bit awkward. (again that feeling of 'rushing' it.) I might have said something like: "Evan began to pretend he was pulling something and his voice changed:"
I hope I haven't offended you! You know I love this story and I have been looking forward to more ghosts! LOL. If I seem picky, that's the only reason - I love it so much, it's hard to 'keep my hands off it'!(Ignore me if you don't agree - I won't be the least offended - I promise.) :)
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Oh Barbara, my ghost!!! Yay! I enjoyed this chapter very much, although I must say something, and I pray you won't be offended (but I would want you to tell me if you felt it in one of the chapters of my book). It's not a huge issue, just a slight impression, but I get the feeling some parts were a little rushed - there could have been a bit more build-up, for example, before the teenager fainted. One other slight thing I noticed, but caution - this one may just be me (LOL) - I found the description in the second paragraph a bit awkward. (again that feeling of 'rushing' it.) I might have said something like: "Evan began to pretend he was pulling something and his voice changed:"
I hope I haven't offended you! You know I love this story and I have been looking forward to more ghosts! LOL. If I seem picky, that's the only reason - I love it so much, it's hard to 'keep my hands off it'!(Ignore me if you don't agree - I won't be the least offended - I promise.) :)
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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You have NOT offended me and I will take a look a that area. I have rewritten it a few times, trying to get it and I will take another look. Thank you for the kind review.
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My pleasure entirely, my friend. I do SO love this story!
Comment from adewpearl
As the group gathered in front of the gray building, Evan - add comma
More fun ghost stories in good dialogue form
what about the pirates? - add question mark
Anne Bonny was the illigitment - illegitimate
Love the story of Blackbeard searching for his head
Great tension and suspense in your chapter closing :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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As the group gathered in front of the gray building, Evan - add comma
More fun ghost stories in good dialogue form
what about the pirates? - add question mark
Anne Bonny was the illigitment - illegitimate
Love the story of Blackbeard searching for his head
Great tension and suspense in your chapter closing :-) Brooke
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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I am wondering why my spell check didn't pick up on illgeitment. I guess it went for tea. Thank you for your eagle eyes.
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I have no use for spell checkers - I swear they are all on permanent vacation :-)
Comment from judiverse
This is some story, especially with seeing the head of "Blackbeard," so I'm going with a six. The tour has held my interest, and the tales of some of those ghostly women were spooky. How about that Make-up kiss story? The story about Blackbeard looking for his head is scary, and the sighting of the head at the time the tour guide's been telling his story is interesting. Is it a staged appearance, or is there something weird going on, as Cash believes. Good writing, to keep us guessing. judi
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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This is some story, especially with seeing the head of "Blackbeard," so I'm going with a six. The tour has held my interest, and the tales of some of those ghostly women were spooky. How about that Make-up kiss story? The story about Blackbeard looking for his head is scary, and the sighting of the head at the time the tour guide's been telling his story is interesting. Is it a staged appearance, or is there something weird going on, as Cash believes. Good writing, to keep us guessing. judi
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your encouraging words.
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You're so welcome. You had quite a suspenseful ending in this. judi
Comment from donaldww
This was an interesting chapter with many side-stories about some of Savannah's early inhabitants. Of course, the interest for the tour group, as well as the reader, are the origins of ghosts, and other subsequent happenings.
The prose is fluent and precise. My only suggestion is to consider dropping this sentence:
While the tour group looked toward the window, the parents attended the boy.
I think that it interrupts the excitement that builds at that end of the scene, and doesn't add any useful information. We see the boy is revived a couple lines later.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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This was an interesting chapter with many side-stories about some of Savannah's early inhabitants. Of course, the interest for the tour group, as well as the reader, are the origins of ghosts, and other subsequent happenings.
The prose is fluent and precise. My only suggestion is to consider dropping this sentence:
While the tour group looked toward the window, the parents attended the boy.
I think that it interrupts the excitement that builds at that end of the scene, and doesn't add any useful information. We see the boy is revived a couple lines later.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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I was wondering about that. At first, I didn't have it there, but I was worried about getting criticized by parents who wondered about the boy. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
I've heard of chickens running around after their heads were cut off but never of a human being doing that. I am wondering what good would come of a calling the police. What could they do about a ghost or someone pretending to be a ghost? I'm anxious to find out more about this. Well written, Barbara.
April
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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I've heard of chickens running around after their heads were cut off but never of a human being doing that. I am wondering what good would come of a calling the police. What could they do about a ghost or someone pretending to be a ghost? I'm anxious to find out more about this. Well written, Barbara.
April
Comment Written 30-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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It will do no good to call the police, but Cash felt he had to do something. Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome.
