Reviews from

Savannah Love

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 4, Part 4"
Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?

67 total reviews 
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Excellent
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OMG! I love this chapter! The subtle reach for Cash's hand was a great touch. When he reassured her, was even better! I even got the heebie-geebees in the hospital.

I can't wait, I have to read the next chapter! My work will wait a tad longer! ('-')

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax

 Comment Written 09-Jul-2014


reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
    Thank you!!!! I really appreciate it.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Been meaning to ask what does "antebellum" mean?
This is going really well. Kind of book "one can't put down" hehe. Gonna miss you when you go back to work. Still have a few chapters t0 get through though thank goodness. No Spags.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2013


reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
    Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. Antebellum means before the war.
reply by Sankey on 15-Dec-2013
    Ah there tis ANte - before the war thanks now I see it
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Sorry I didn't get to this sooner.


The older gentleman said, "Johnny Mercer was a famous song writer.(")


First, a previous owner tripped over the second floor banister, fracturing his hip(,) and suffered a concussion.

"Constructed in 1851, the Marshall House is the oldest hotel in Savannah and is reportedly one to (of) the most haunted places in this city," Evan said to the group.

 Comment Written 28-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
    Sorry for the lateness of my reply. I wanted to have time to make the corrections before I replied. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Excellent
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A GOOD WRITE WITH IMAGERY I ENJOYED reading THIS and the story kept my interest and it's storyline was excellent Thanks for sharing with me. Mary

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Excellent
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Hello Barbara. I had the opportunity to spend some time in FanStory this week and was happy to see you had submitted another excellent addition to your book. It is flawlessly done as usual and was an entertaining read. I looked it over pretty carefully and could find nothing worthy of pointing out with respect to spag or errors of any kind. Keep up the great work. I always enjoy coming across your post...Tim

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from justatuna
Excellent
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You did a really good job with this. Kept my attention. Excellent job of building suspense. Created great imagery. Great flow. Very well done. I'll look for more.

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from THE FREAK
Excellent
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Ooh the pirates house; there will most definitely be a ghostly hook hanging from the ceiling dripping blood of it's defenceless victims.
Well done, I really cannot wait for the next instalment, just to see what page does next!
Keep going, for I assume we are not even half way through.
All the best
The freak

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from clumsyninja
Good
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The structure has been empty for two decades, but was once used as a Union hospital as well as a hospital where hundreds of patients died of yellow fever. It has even been an insane asylum." the use of hospital here twice is a bit clumsy.

The tunnel ended at the wooded area of the park. The tunnel was used for a morgue while they awaited burial and for autopsies and medical experiments. same again here with tunnel.

Overall a nice piece. There seems to be tension. Your characters feel real and alive :-) good use of dialog.

Didn't seem to go anywhere but you mention that it will be relevant later. Still a few more revaltions of thought from your main character could show us that in the piece and increase the tension.

Was it me who told you to do thoughts in italics? I really love that style for thinking :-)

I also think that the guide should be animated more. Many of his speeches could be broken in half and an action given to him... To deepen the scene and draw us in more. All you have here is back story so it is up to you to make it as captivating as possible.

Just fell below a five for me because these reasons. Good work though

Good job....

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
    Sorry for the lateness of my reply. I wanted to have time to make the corrections before I replied. Thank you for your eagle eye. I have had reviews that my guide is too animated and needs to calm down a bit.
Comment from Meena Jawahrani
Excellent
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Great research supports your spooky tale.
Ghosts and goosebumps both seem to be alive in this chapter.

The picture adds to the haunted words

Waiting for the tour to Pirates House :)

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Excellent
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This is very scary, but I like the great build up of suspense in this chapter. I also like the way you have fed us information about the tour. I will wait for more.
How are you feeling Barbara? Hope everything is o.k!
:)

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.