Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 4, Part 4"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
67 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
OMG! I love this chapter! The subtle reach for Cash's hand was a great touch. When he reassured her, was even better! I even got the heebie-geebees in the hospital.
I can't wait, I have to read the next chapter! My work will wait a tad longer! ('-')
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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OMG! I love this chapter! The subtle reach for Cash's hand was a great touch. When he reassured her, was even better! I even got the heebie-geebees in the hospital.
I can't wait, I have to read the next chapter! My work will wait a tad longer! ('-')
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you!!!! I really appreciate it.
Comment from Sankey
Been meaning to ask what does "antebellum" mean?
This is going really well. Kind of book "one can't put down" hehe. Gonna miss you when you go back to work. Still have a few chapters t0 get through though thank goodness. No Spags.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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Been meaning to ask what does "antebellum" mean?
This is going really well. Kind of book "one can't put down" hehe. Gonna miss you when you go back to work. Still have a few chapters t0 get through though thank goodness. No Spags.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. Antebellum means before the war.
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Ah there tis ANte - before the war thanks now I see it
Comment from mumsyone
Hi Barbara,
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner.
The older gentleman said, "Johnny Mercer was a famous song writer.(")
First, a previous owner tripped over the second floor banister, fracturing his hip(,) and suffered a concussion.
"Constructed in 1851, the Marshall House is the oldest hotel in Savannah and is reportedly one to (of) the most haunted places in this city," Evan said to the group.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Hi Barbara,
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner.
The older gentleman said, "Johnny Mercer was a famous song writer.(")
First, a previous owner tripped over the second floor banister, fracturing his hip(,) and suffered a concussion.
"Constructed in 1851, the Marshall House is the oldest hotel in Savannah and is reportedly one to (of) the most haunted places in this city," Evan said to the group.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Sorry for the lateness of my reply. I wanted to have time to make the corrections before I replied. Thank you for your eagle eye.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A GOOD WRITE WITH IMAGERY I ENJOYED reading THIS and the story kept my interest and it's storyline was excellent Thanks for sharing with me. Mary
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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A GOOD WRITE WITH IMAGERY I ENJOYED reading THIS and the story kept my interest and it's storyline was excellent Thanks for sharing with me. Mary
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello Barbara. I had the opportunity to spend some time in FanStory this week and was happy to see you had submitted another excellent addition to your book. It is flawlessly done as usual and was an entertaining read. I looked it over pretty carefully and could find nothing worthy of pointing out with respect to spag or errors of any kind. Keep up the great work. I always enjoy coming across your post...Tim
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Hello Barbara. I had the opportunity to spend some time in FanStory this week and was happy to see you had submitted another excellent addition to your book. It is flawlessly done as usual and was an entertaining read. I looked it over pretty carefully and could find nothing worthy of pointing out with respect to spag or errors of any kind. Keep up the great work. I always enjoy coming across your post...Tim
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from justatuna
You did a really good job with this. Kept my attention. Excellent job of building suspense. Created great imagery. Great flow. Very well done. I'll look for more.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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You did a really good job with this. Kept my attention. Excellent job of building suspense. Created great imagery. Great flow. Very well done. I'll look for more.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from THE FREAK
Ooh the pirates house; there will most definitely be a ghostly hook hanging from the ceiling dripping blood of it's defenceless victims.
Well done, I really cannot wait for the next instalment, just to see what page does next!
Keep going, for I assume we are not even half way through.
All the best
The freak
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Ooh the pirates house; there will most definitely be a ghostly hook hanging from the ceiling dripping blood of it's defenceless victims.
Well done, I really cannot wait for the next instalment, just to see what page does next!
Keep going, for I assume we are not even half way through.
All the best
The freak
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from clumsyninja
The structure has been empty for two decades, but was once used as a Union hospital as well as a hospital where hundreds of patients died of yellow fever. It has even been an insane asylum." the use of hospital here twice is a bit clumsy.
The tunnel ended at the wooded area of the park. The tunnel was used for a morgue while they awaited burial and for autopsies and medical experiments. same again here with tunnel.
Overall a nice piece. There seems to be tension. Your characters feel real and alive :-) good use of dialog.
Didn't seem to go anywhere but you mention that it will be relevant later. Still a few more revaltions of thought from your main character could show us that in the piece and increase the tension.
Was it me who told you to do thoughts in italics? I really love that style for thinking :-)
I also think that the guide should be animated more. Many of his speeches could be broken in half and an action given to him... To deepen the scene and draw us in more. All you have here is back story so it is up to you to make it as captivating as possible.
Just fell below a five for me because these reasons. Good work though
Good job....
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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The structure has been empty for two decades, but was once used as a Union hospital as well as a hospital where hundreds of patients died of yellow fever. It has even been an insane asylum." the use of hospital here twice is a bit clumsy.
The tunnel ended at the wooded area of the park. The tunnel was used for a morgue while they awaited burial and for autopsies and medical experiments. same again here with tunnel.
Overall a nice piece. There seems to be tension. Your characters feel real and alive :-) good use of dialog.
Didn't seem to go anywhere but you mention that it will be relevant later. Still a few more revaltions of thought from your main character could show us that in the piece and increase the tension.
Was it me who told you to do thoughts in italics? I really love that style for thinking :-)
I also think that the guide should be animated more. Many of his speeches could be broken in half and an action given to him... To deepen the scene and draw us in more. All you have here is back story so it is up to you to make it as captivating as possible.
Just fell below a five for me because these reasons. Good work though
Good job....
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Sorry for the lateness of my reply. I wanted to have time to make the corrections before I replied. Thank you for your eagle eye. I have had reviews that my guide is too animated and needs to calm down a bit.
Comment from Meena Jawahrani
Great research supports your spooky tale.
Ghosts and goosebumps both seem to be alive in this chapter.
The picture adds to the haunted words
Waiting for the tour to Pirates House :)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Great research supports your spooky tale.
Ghosts and goosebumps both seem to be alive in this chapter.
The picture adds to the haunted words
Waiting for the tour to Pirates House :)
Comment Written 27-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is very scary, but I like the great build up of suspense in this chapter. I also like the way you have fed us information about the tour. I will wait for more.
How are you feeling Barbara? Hope everything is o.k!
:)
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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This is very scary, but I like the great build up of suspense in this chapter. I also like the way you have fed us information about the tour. I will wait for more.
How are you feeling Barbara? Hope everything is o.k!
:)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
