Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter 3, Part 3"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
84 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
I think Paige may be smitten with Cash..and who could blame her? I am wondering if Paige has a ghost could it be the Pirate Ghost? What an intriguing thought! Also I wonder if Paige will find a tunnel under her house? Good chapter! Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Hi Barbara,
I think Paige may be smitten with Cash..and who could blame her? I am wondering if Paige has a ghost could it be the Pirate Ghost? What an intriguing thought! Also I wonder if Paige will find a tunnel under her house? Good chapter! Blessings, chey
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Barbara,
I'd reread this one a bit, as there were about 3 or four spag, twice I think you missed a "you" in key sentences. On a bigger picture note, the meeting with her boss, it seemed a little forced. I got that the situation was a bit awkward and forced, but the showing of the Pirate House was repeated by Cash, just after Paige just said it. I think the tension of the situation is there naturally, so it doesn't need to be overt. Just him mentioning/asking if that was her boss would speak a lot. Nice job introducing a little feeling on both the main characters' parts. Nice job--Ted
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Dear Barbara,
I'd reread this one a bit, as there were about 3 or four spag, twice I think you missed a "you" in key sentences. On a bigger picture note, the meeting with her boss, it seemed a little forced. I got that the situation was a bit awkward and forced, but the showing of the Pirate House was repeated by Cash, just after Paige just said it. I think the tension of the situation is there naturally, so it doesn't need to be overt. Just him mentioning/asking if that was her boss would speak a lot. Nice job introducing a little feeling on both the main characters' parts. Nice job--Ted
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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I will recheck it. Thank you for the eagle eye.
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A lovely chapter and has imagery I enjoyed your story Barbara. IT WAs WELL WRITTEN IT kept MY INTEREST. A well and truly enjoyable read. Mary
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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A lovely chapter and has imagery I enjoyed your story Barbara. IT WAs WELL WRITTEN IT kept MY INTEREST. A well and truly enjoyable read. Mary
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
I'd say the way he's broken the news that the area she was planning to shop in was pretty expensive was a good one. I think there is a correction needed -
read the flier. "Would like to go Friday evening?" - "You would like to ...
Patrick
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Hi Barbara,
I'd say the way he's broken the news that the area she was planning to shop in was pretty expensive was a good one. I think there is a correction needed -
read the flier. "Would like to go Friday evening?" - "You would like to ...
Patrick
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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I changed that sentence just before posting and still didn't get it right. Thank you for the eagle eye.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
The story continues to develop at a good pace, and the relationship between Paige and Cash appears to be moving right along. Their backgrounds make them such unlikely lovers. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next chapter. Curtis
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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The story continues to develop at a good pace, and the relationship between Paige and Cash appears to be moving right along. Their backgrounds make them such unlikely lovers. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next chapter. Curtis
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Although Paige may think she doesn't need another man in her life, she certainly is warming up to Cash and is planning to spend a lot of time with him. The mention of the Pirates' House having ghost tours is great, because it makes the reader think of Paige's supposedly haunted house. Cash shows some sensitivity when he suggests that Mary Pat and Nala may not be able to afford the lunch and shopping spree that's been planned. Paige doesn't mention an alternative, as she and Cash quickly jump to making their own plans, but she's sure to show the sensitivity that Cash suggests. That's a likeable quality in him. Great chapter. Good luck with your upcoming school year! judi
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Although Paige may think she doesn't need another man in her life, she certainly is warming up to Cash and is planning to spend a lot of time with him. The mention of the Pirates' House having ghost tours is great, because it makes the reader think of Paige's supposedly haunted house. Cash shows some sensitivity when he suggests that Mary Pat and Nala may not be able to afford the lunch and shopping spree that's been planned. Paige doesn't mention an alternative, as she and Cash quickly jump to making their own plans, but she's sure to show the sensitivity that Cash suggests. That's a likeable quality in him. Great chapter. Good luck with your upcoming school year! judi
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. Paige does make changes in Saturday's plans.
Comment from rosmarton
Having read this passage I feel hungry to read further. I am intrigued about a 'ghost.'
Your style is great with a good pace keeping the flow interesting to the reader.
I liked the characters too, they came across as nice people.
Your dialogue does all it should, building the story without unnecessary telling. I am very impressed with this chapter.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Having read this passage I feel hungry to read further. I am intrigued about a 'ghost.'
Your style is great with a good pace keeping the flow interesting to the reader.
I liked the characters too, they came across as nice people.
Your dialogue does all it should, building the story without unnecessary telling. I am very impressed with this chapter.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where cash and paige continue their walk and makes plans to go on a ghost tour and fishing
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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this is very well written, barbara, you did a great job writing this chapter where cash and paige continue their walk and makes plans to go on a ghost tour and fishing
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from elgone
The last thing she needs in her life is another man. We're about to find out why, I suspect.
A couple of comments:
"Let me guess(,) you want to go on a ghost tour?" - I think there is a natural pause in speech here.
"Let's see, you [have] now have plans for Friday evening
E
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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The last thing she needs in her life is another man. We're about to find out why, I suspect.
A couple of comments:
"Let me guess(,) you want to go on a ghost tour?" - I think there is a natural pause in speech here.
"Let's see, you [have] now have plans for Friday evening
E
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the catches. Commas and I have issue. The other was a ditzy mistake. I appreciate the help.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hi Barb Oh, I see that Cash and Paige are getting very friendly
Oh you are good slowly leading us into the suspense of the tunnels along with the history of a ghost pirate.
Gert
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Hi Barb Oh, I see that Cash and Paige are getting very friendly
Oh you are good slowly leading us into the suspense of the tunnels along with the history of a ghost pirate.
Gert
Comment Written 19-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review and your continued support.
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Take care
Gert
