Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Chapter 3, Part 1"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
63 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter that shows a difference of opinion about General Sherman. I enjoyed this read and have several suggestions:
"She watched Cash walk over to the cast-iron fence and the pickup leave, before going inside." I don't understand this sentence. Was something left out?
"Yes, ma'ma (Should this be ma'am?). Billy Joe was picked up a few minutes ago."
"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman." This is an interrupted sentence, causing a big difference in opinion. I think it should end with something other than a period. If Cash's spoken interruption is immediate, cutting off Paige's words, it should end with a dash (an "em"). If Paige allows the sentence to drift away because of Cash's expression, it might end with an ellipsis plus a period (....)
Dave
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Barbara,
This is an excellent chapter that shows a difference of opinion about General Sherman. I enjoyed this read and have several suggestions:
"She watched Cash walk over to the cast-iron fence and the pickup leave, before going inside." I don't understand this sentence. Was something left out?
"Yes, ma'ma (Should this be ma'am?). Billy Joe was picked up a few minutes ago."
"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman." This is an interrupted sentence, causing a big difference in opinion. I think it should end with something other than a period. If Cash's spoken interruption is immediate, cutting off Paige's words, it should end with a dash (an "em"). If Paige allows the sentence to drift away because of Cash's expression, it might end with an ellipsis plus a period (....)
Dave
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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I was wondering about that last suggestion myself. I got a big gig earlier for using ..., but I will put it in. Thank you for the catches.
Comment from marlafae
"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman."--Don't you need an elipse instead of a period? It reads as if Cash interrupts her.
*children. That's how I got the house."
"The house has been in the family a long time."
"I'm the first non-Bookman to own the house. I want to do right by it." --Is there a reason this is separated into three paragraphs? Isn't Paige saying all these things?
Good chapter.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman."--Don't you need an elipse instead of a period? It reads as if Cash interrupts her.
*children. That's how I got the house."
"The house has been in the family a long time."
"I'm the first non-Bookman to own the house. I want to do right by it." --Is there a reason this is separated into three paragraphs? Isn't Paige saying all these things?
Good chapter.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Thank you for th ekind review. No Paige isn't saying everything, that's the reason for separate paragraphs.
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Barbara, I liked the good friendliness of both parties and I liked the brief toour of the portrait gallery. The stuff with the truck and the mud and the pigs didn't do a lot for me, it seemed like the needle got stuck in a little diversion. Good stuff in the main--Ted
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Dear Barbara, I liked the good friendliness of both parties and I liked the brief toour of the portrait gallery. The stuff with the truck and the mud and the pigs didn't do a lot for me, it seemed like the needle got stuck in a little diversion. Good stuff in the main--Ted
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. I have been asked to add some southern details and that was added. I liked it better myself without it.
Comment from Selestia
Story continues to be intrigueing. I'm anxious to find out about the ghosts. Characters continue to be well-developed. Very interesting plot.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Story continues to be intrigueing. I'm anxious to find out about the ghosts. Characters continue to be well-developed. Very interesting plot.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Barbara, The plot advances nicely, and the characters are really beginning to develop and show their character. It is a good read, and I look forward to the next installment. Curtis
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Barbara, The plot advances nicely, and the characters are really beginning to develop and show their character. It is a good read, and I look forward to the next installment. Curtis
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Paige has met Mary Patricia who is Billy Joe's wife. Nala, Patricia, and Paige seem to get along well together. Paige is learning more about the family history.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Paige has met Mary Patricia who is Billy Joe's wife. Nala, Patricia, and Paige seem to get along well together. Paige is learning more about the family history.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AprilShower
Hi, Barbara. They sure have fun kidding each other. I enjoyed this chapter.
I had a little trouble with the two sentences below.
Billy Joe chuckled, took Cash's keys, and held the chair as she stood. (Why would he hold the chair as she stood?)
Shouldn't there be more to this last statement to make it a sentence? I don't know what it means, Barbara.
"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman."
Otherwise, I enjoyed the story. Maybe you could make these a little clearer.
April
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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Hi, Barbara. They sure have fun kidding each other. I enjoyed this chapter.
I had a little trouble with the two sentences below.
Billy Joe chuckled, took Cash's keys, and held the chair as she stood. (Why would he hold the chair as she stood?)
Shouldn't there be more to this last statement to make it a sentence? I don't know what it means, Barbara.
"It seems when Major General William Tecumseh Sherman."
Otherwise, I enjoyed the story. Maybe you could make these a little clearer.
April
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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He held the chair to be gentleman. HUMM, maybe it doesn't work. The second one, Chase interrupted her before she finished.
Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Barbara, now I can see the connection with the Civil War...:) I look forward to how the library (and the ghosts) will take me there. Interesting as always.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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Hi, Barbara, now I can see the connection with the Civil War...:) I look forward to how the library (and the ghosts) will take me there. Interesting as always.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bhogg
Well, I loved your post, but then I'm a southerner. To me, it all flowed naturally. You're an artist on dialog and mixing with narrative. Well written, moved me through quickly and left me wishing for more. Bill
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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Well, I loved your post, but then I'm a southerner. To me, it all flowed naturally. You're an artist on dialog and mixing with narrative. Well written, moved me through quickly and left me wishing for more. Bill
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. Your family is in my prayers.
Comment from Khione Lock
I thought this was an interesting and intriguing story. Slow to start, but with a good finish. I like the dialogue and banter, along with the good humor. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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I thought this was an interesting and intriguing story. Slow to start, but with a good finish. I like the dialogue and banter, along with the good humor. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2012
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thank you for the review.
