An Orange Siamese
Note: THIS IS THE OLD 'HERSHY' - THE NEW ONE IS MUCH BETTER.20 total reviews
Comment from Maguy Daoud
I really like this story, it's so natural writing as we live everyday, my husband has a dog gift, it's so nice and cool. My daughter has the same age of this sixth years old Elisabeth, for a short time she knew a lot of taking care of animals, isn't that great.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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I really like this story, it's so natural writing as we live everyday, my husband has a dog gift, it's so nice and cool. My daughter has the same age of this sixth years old Elisabeth, for a short time she knew a lot of taking care of animals, isn't that great.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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What a lovely review - thank you so much, and for sharing a little of your personal life. Blessings to you and yours. Dawn
Comment from pattipac
Anyone who has cats can relate to your story. Cats are curious, and independent. Having a mind of their own, they often manage to get into trouble. My sympathies go to Mrs.. Barnes. Whatever will she come up with for dinner?
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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Anyone who has cats can relate to your story. Cats are curious, and independent. Having a mind of their own, they often manage to get into trouble. My sympathies go to Mrs.. Barnes. Whatever will she come up with for dinner?
Comment Written 12-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2013
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Hahahaha! Oh that Hershy! Thank you so much. I'm very pleased you enjoyed this prologue. :)
Comment from Magic Wand
I like the way you tell the Hershy's story in a conversational way. It gives the children a feeling of inclusion in the tale, and that is always a great way to engage them from the start.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2013
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I like the way you tell the Hershy's story in a conversational way. It gives the children a feeling of inclusion in the tale, and that is always a great way to engage them from the start.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2013
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I can't tell you how pleased and honored I am with your review. It's my first children's book, and I loved every minute of writing it. Thank you very much.
Comment from Pandora913
This was pretty humorous. I liked the part when Hershey dived into the spaghetti sauce and ran off. Creative name for the cat too. Good writing. Definietly going to read the next chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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This was pretty humorous. I liked the part when Hershey dived into the spaghetti sauce and ran off. Creative name for the cat too. Good writing. Definietly going to read the next chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Thanks you, but you have rated as a four-star rating, which means that you believe something needs to be adjusted, yet you do not say what you feel that might be.
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oops sorry. Should've put that int here. I liked it but it was wasn't something that got me crazed about it. Just enough interest to read the next chapter.
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Oh dear, this is still a problem - when you rate work, you are rating on the merit of the work, not your personal taste. would you like me to give you a review, and I will try to illustrate how it should be done? Because your rating of others' work is very important to them, and we are here to help one another hone our craft - if something isn't to your personal taste and you can't be unbiased (rate on the work itself, not whether you liked it or not, but whether it is good writing) then you should skip that one - there are always plenty to review! Your rating affects the overall rating of the wwork. Also, were you aware that this is a children's book?
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No thanks, I now know how to write the review. Yes, I was aware that it was a children's book. I guess for some reason my mind didn't think of it being for younger ones.
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No thanks, I now know how to write the review. Yes, I was aware that it was a children's book. I guess for some reason my mind didn't think of it being for younger ones.
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No thanks, I now know how to write the review. Yes, I was aware that it was a children's book. I guess for some reason my mind didn't think of it being for younger ones.
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No thanks, I now know how to write the review. Yes, I was aware that it was a children's book. I guess for some reason my mind didn't think of it being for younger ones.
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No thanks, I now know how to write the review. Yes, I was aware that it was a children's book. I guess for some reason my mind didn't think of it being for younger ones.
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Oh, well if you knew how, then why would you have given your reason for rating a four, (when I asked) as personally just not "crazed" about it? I was willing to try to help, in spite of your unfair review, (which contradicted the others) - I thought since you were new to FanStory you would have liked the example. That chapter you rated at four (and gave no valid reason for saying it needed adjustment) is already a recognized chapter.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Well worth six stars. I appreciate your becoming a fan and was more than happy to read another of your works. You have captured the essence of your cat perfectly and you have put it in terms a child would understand and enjoy. Excellent write. Hope you'll take a look at my Sherlock Holmes novel. Best wishes. Ray.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Well worth six stars. I appreciate your becoming a fan and was more than happy to read another of your works. You have captured the essence of your cat perfectly and you have put it in terms a child would understand and enjoy. Excellent write. Hope you'll take a look at my Sherlock Holmes novel. Best wishes. Ray.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2012
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Oh I will, with great pleasure! Thank you for this wonderful review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes you have done very well with this chapter a very nice opening chapter to this book for children well done I enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Yes you have done very well with this chapter a very nice opening chapter to this book for children well done I enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 04-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2012
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Jill, you have no idea how much this means to me - thank you!!!
Comment from Verusha
Haha, what a cute story! I can already predict the mischief that's going to follow! I have a cat too, so I can definitely relate to the exasperation/love I always feel!:)
Your voice is very good for a children's book. You create great visuals in a simple but effective way.
I'm interested to see how it develops because the opening paragraphs suggest that something bad happens to Hershy and he stands up to the injustice!
Well done :)
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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Haha, what a cute story! I can already predict the mischief that's going to follow! I have a cat too, so I can definitely relate to the exasperation/love I always feel!:)
Your voice is very good for a children's book. You create great visuals in a simple but effective way.
I'm interested to see how it develops because the opening paragraphs suggest that something bad happens to Hershy and he stands up to the injustice!
Well done :)
Comment Written 02-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2012
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Oh I'm so happy you are reviewing this and you like it - I've wanted to write a children's book for a long time! Yes, Hershy will have some silly adventures before he gets to a rather serious one (and that's all I'm saying right now!) (giggle)
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
For years, I had Siamese cats. Right now, I don't have any, but the two cats I do have think they own the house.I can't wait to read more about the adventures of Hershy. This should be interesting. I love animals and animal stories!!!
Debbie
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2012
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For years, I had Siamese cats. Right now, I don't have any, but the two cats I do have think they own the house.I can't wait to read more about the adventures of Hershy. This should be interesting. I love animals and animal stories!!!
Debbie
Comment Written 31-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2012
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Hi Debbie - thank you so, so much for this wonderful, encouraging review! I am so happy! I just this minute posted the next chapter...I've wanted to write a children's book for such a long time, and FanStory seemed like the perfect place to see how well it might be received. (So you see how over-joyed I am at your review!) And yes, I had Siamese many years ago too, and this story is actually based on my big fellow back in the day. These days I share my home with a sweet little grey tabby named Prissy. She's the one I write about in my poem, "My Cats Tail". I just love animals, and find a house isn't a home without a pet!
Comment from amada
So good story. It happens that I have a siamese cat as well, and well, she is clever and she loves my roast chicken as well. I liked your story so much I wanted to continue reading it.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2012
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So good story. It happens that I have a siamese cat as well, and well, she is clever and she loves my roast chicken as well. I liked your story so much I wanted to continue reading it.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2012
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Oh I am thrilled that you liked it! Thank you for a very kind review! I'll try to give you another chapter you'll enjoy soon! It's so nice to hear a Siamese-owner likes it. They are beautiful and very clever cats.
Comment from Gungalo
Heheh the best laid plans of mice and men and cats, eh? Needless to say the boss got potluck. Cool write girlie and bet you the cat is outside for a while.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Heheh the best laid plans of mice and men and cats, eh? Needless to say the boss got potluck. Cool write girlie and bet you the cat is outside for a while.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Hi there G! No, she's an indoor cat - I just let her run the long hallway outside our apartment is all. So, you liked it, you liked it! Thank you so much! I'm very excited about this project - I've wanted to try my hand at a kid's book for a long time! FanStory is a good place to test it and see how well it might do. I'm about ready to burst with happiness right now!
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Good for you.
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:) Oh, you meant Hershy is outside? Nah, he's about to get into a whole lot more mischief!
