Memoir
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "A Lawnchair on Mars"True story
40 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, bill, you did a great job writing this essay about the thoughts you had while in war in iraq, great imagery presented here. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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this is very well written, bill, you did a great job writing this essay about the thoughts you had while in war in iraq, great imagery presented here. i enjoyed reading it, good luck in the contest
Comment Written 25-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your kind and thoughtful review. Bill
Comment from TammyGail
Bill this was an amazing example of what happens when one replacing tone from ink and blending with soul.. I must admit I pondered even reviewing for at least two hours. For I haven't a six but in reality stars mean nothing when compared.. So many never came back to breathable soil and the ones that did left their normalcy and sanity in that damn sand.. Reminds me of a very close friend that never could find the other half of him.. Thanks for sharing I hope this is a contest I can vote for.. I'll be checking the booths...
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Bill this was an amazing example of what happens when one replacing tone from ink and blending with soul.. I must admit I pondered even reviewing for at least two hours. For I haven't a six but in reality stars mean nothing when compared.. So many never came back to breathable soil and the ones that did left their normalcy and sanity in that damn sand.. Reminds me of a very close friend that never could find the other half of him.. Thanks for sharing I hope this is a contest I can vote for.. I'll be checking the booths...
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Tammy, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
Comment from sibhus
Hmmm, fantastic, excellent, can these really express a piece of writing that makes you stop and lose track of the world around you. This is good writing, writing like writing should be. Something that takes you away and shows you a whole different world. A world that you hadn't realized existed before. We all know about Desert Storm, but you have shown us Desert Storm with you detailed gripping story.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Hmmm, fantastic, excellent, can these really express a piece of writing that makes you stop and lose track of the world around you. This is good writing, writing like writing should be. Something that takes you away and shows you a whole different world. A world that you hadn't realized existed before. We all know about Desert Storm, but you have shown us Desert Storm with you detailed gripping story.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Bill, this is outstanding. You capture the undercurrent of worry, the fatalism, the semi-detatchment from home, the concern for and appreciation of little things, and the earthy humor of the US military man in Saudi Arabia as his world becomes one blue dot in a cinnamon sea of sand. And you tell it all flawlessly. :) nancy
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Bill, this is outstanding. You capture the undercurrent of worry, the fatalism, the semi-detatchment from home, the concern for and appreciation of little things, and the earthy humor of the US military man in Saudi Arabia as his world becomes one blue dot in a cinnamon sea of sand. And you tell it all flawlessly. :) nancy
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Nancy, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Bill. This was an unexpected pleasure in the middle of my day. You, Sir, have a very unique voice and loads of talent. Your story placed me in the middle of your time in the desert in a way that I've never experienced with this type of writing before. Well done! Love the last two paragraphs. Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Hi, Bill. This was an unexpected pleasure in the middle of my day. You, Sir, have a very unique voice and loads of talent. Your story placed me in the middle of your time in the desert in a way that I've never experienced with this type of writing before. Well done! Love the last two paragraphs. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Bev, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
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You're very welcome, Bill.
Comment from Taffspride
You have painted the scene with words. Your descriptive words had me placed there in the desert with the rest of your platoon.
Powerful writing for an all to real time.
Iechyd da
Taffspride
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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You have painted the scene with words. Your descriptive words had me placed there in the desert with the rest of your platoon.
Powerful writing for an all to real time.
Iechyd da
Taffspride
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
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You are very welcome. I noticed a spelling error in my review, it should have read for an all too real time. oops.
Iechyd da
Taffspride
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Your word picture of the war in Iraq is vivid and well told. Your story flowed smoothly, and the protagonist's thoughts were colorful. I enjoyed the read. Curtis
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Your word picture of the war in Iraq is vivid and well told. Your story flowed smoothly, and the protagonist's thoughts were colorful. I enjoyed the read. Curtis
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Curtis, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
Comment from Cornelius2000
There is conflicting information at the top of this piece of excellent writing. It is listed as "Category: General Fiction," but is entered in a non-fiction contest. I'm assuming it's non-fiction, but whatever it is I found it most interesting and well written.
There was one sentence that threw me; "we had heard the HQ poags were bogarting back in the rear." I understand HQ but "poags" and "bogarting" are new ones to me.
I hope the new wife was ok with all the stories about Karen, Mary Anne and Yvonne,and that a long and happy marriage has ensued.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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There is conflicting information at the top of this piece of excellent writing. It is listed as "Category: General Fiction," but is entered in a non-fiction contest. I'm assuming it's non-fiction, but whatever it is I found it most interesting and well written.
There was one sentence that threw me; "we had heard the HQ poags were bogarting back in the rear." I understand HQ but "poags" and "bogarting" are new ones to me.
I hope the new wife was ok with all the stories about Karen, Mary Anne and Yvonne,and that a long and happy marriage has ensued.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Thank you for reviewing my work. I didn't realize there was a category choice. A 'poag' is an endearing name for an admin office worker. 'Bogart' is a term from the late sixties - early seventies that refers to keeping something to yourself, or being stingy. It relates roughly to Humphrey Bogart and being a loner.
Comment from GeorgieBoy
Wow! I was enthralled!! It captured me from the first sentence and pulled me through the story until the end. I was the writer`s shadow throughout the entire story. Real, informative and exciting.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Wow! I was enthralled!! It captured me from the first sentence and pulled me through the story until the end. I was the writer`s shadow throughout the entire story. Real, informative and exciting.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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GB, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
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You are welcome! Much deserved!
Comment from ScarletClearwater
Very good write and I absolutely loved the title. It was gripping. Good descriptions make this piece shine. Really great write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Very good write and I absolutely loved the title. It was gripping. Good descriptions make this piece shine. Really great write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2012
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Scarlet, Thank you for your flattering review and outstanding marks. Bill
