The Vicious Circle
'Hell is personal, Dorothy'50 total reviews
Comment from tinams
I really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene very well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench. You gave a number of clues as to Sam's identity,and I liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorothy and him. Very ingenuitive :) Tina
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene very well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench. You gave a number of clues as to Sam's identity,and I liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorothy and him. Very ingenuitive :) Tina
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you, Tina. I'm delighted you enjoyed the story. Peace, Lee
Comment from ennahanid
This was such an interesting and entertaining read this morning. Very clever I thought and although it is fiction it rang very true.
Thank you for entertaining me this morning...Dinah
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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This was such an interesting and entertaining read this morning. Very clever I thought and although it is fiction it rang very true.
Thank you for entertaining me this morning...Dinah
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, Dinah. I'm delighted you were entertained. Peace, Lee
Comment from Narvik
Awesomw twist, Lee, ans the perfrect way to lead up to it. I should've guessed it when his name was Sam with bushy white hair and white suit, but it never clicked.
I'm just glad I didn't read your author's notes first.
No one does description like you do. I pictured this whole scene as vividly as if I'd been there.
And the witty back-and-forth jabs were awesome too. They sliced each other up pretty thoroughly, eh?
Stellar, as usual, Lee.
~ Erik
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Awesomw twist, Lee, ans the perfrect way to lead up to it. I should've guessed it when his name was Sam with bushy white hair and white suit, but it never clicked.
I'm just glad I didn't read your author's notes first.
No one does description like you do. I pictured this whole scene as vividly as if I'd been there.
And the witty back-and-forth jabs were awesome too. They sliced each other up pretty thoroughly, eh?
Stellar, as usual, Lee.
~ Erik
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thanks, Erik. I'm really glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from robina1978
I can see it is well written, but found it a bit of a pity you did not mention to look up these writes till your foot note. Maybe it would have been better to make this slightly more clear in your story. I love the round table. And this is certainly a very original story for the contest. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I can see it is well written, but found it a bit of a pity you did not mention to look up these writes till your foot note. Maybe it would have been better to make this slightly more clear in your story. I love the round table. And this is certainly a very original story for the contest. Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your review and suggestions, robina. I try not to rely on author's notes as a prelude. I believe a story should stand on its own. I had every confidence that an audience of writers would be well aquainted with Sam Clemens, Dorothy Parker and The Algonquin Round Table. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
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I am Dutch, so that probably makes it different. Ine
Comment from jshep
Bravo, hw. This was delightful to read and virtually flawless in its presentation. Smiled to your reference 'old Connecticut mothball - moldy King Aruthur's Court.' That was one of my favorite books when growing up.
'Involuntary spark who ignites my damnation.'- a fabulous line with so many others I could also acknowledge.
Had to look up cloche- a great word and shows the wonderful expanse of your vocabulary. You develop the characters with expertise through your subtle descriptions, which were such a pleasure to read. I am still thinking about the end. 'he patiently waited for what he knew would come.' 'the man simply appeared - as if formed from the mist.' I was not sure if I was supposed to know who was coming next, but I don't.
This is an exceptional and creative story in every way. Well done. Joyce
'do you think it (it's) the same for me?'
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Bravo, hw. This was delightful to read and virtually flawless in its presentation. Smiled to your reference 'old Connecticut mothball - moldy King Aruthur's Court.' That was one of my favorite books when growing up.
'Involuntary spark who ignites my damnation.'- a fabulous line with so many others I could also acknowledge.
Had to look up cloche- a great word and shows the wonderful expanse of your vocabulary. You develop the characters with expertise through your subtle descriptions, which were such a pleasure to read. I am still thinking about the end. 'he patiently waited for what he knew would come.' 'the man simply appeared - as if formed from the mist.' I was not sure if I was supposed to know who was coming next, but I don't.
This is an exceptional and creative story in every way. Well done. Joyce
'do you think it (it's) the same for me?'
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for this wonderful review, Joyce. I loved Twain as a kid, and I still do. He gets deeper as I get older. At the end, I'm suggesting that Sam will vanish from the bench, only to reappear to greet another writer he will never able to read. He has no consciousness between his visits to the bench, therefore, to him they are continual. Perhaps I need to go back and reinforce that point. I can't thank you enough for your encouraging words. Peace, Lee
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Now there's a hell I never considered - to continually meet great writers and never get to sample their writings. Exquisite torture. Beautifully written, Lee. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Now there's a hell I never considered - to continually meet great writers and never get to sample their writings. Exquisite torture. Beautifully written, Lee. :) Nancy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Nancy, thank you so much. As Sam said, 'Hell is personal, Nancy.' Peace, Lee
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I'll bet he never used my name once, Lee. *grin* :) Nancy
Comment from LancsLass
Oh, my, I've been struggling to finish my entry into this competition and now I'm wondering why! LOL
How marvelous, what an imagination you have. Crisp dialogue as ever, fascinating story, clever idea and it all takes place on the bench. Well done.
The detail you bring to your characters makes them real, and again, the language matches. Well, 'your wife's dairy' jarred, for me it didn't quite work but probably just me.
One tiny typo: 'and bit down like (a) bricklayer.'
Well done indeed and good luck in this competition, as they say on Strictly Come Dancing, 'you're the one to beat' :)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Oh, my, I've been struggling to finish my entry into this competition and now I'm wondering why! LOL
How marvelous, what an imagination you have. Crisp dialogue as ever, fascinating story, clever idea and it all takes place on the bench. Well done.
The detail you bring to your characters makes them real, and again, the language matches. Well, 'your wife's dairy' jarred, for me it didn't quite work but probably just me.
One tiny typo: 'and bit down like (a) bricklayer.'
Well done indeed and good luck in this competition, as they say on Strictly Come Dancing, 'you're the one to beat' :)
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, Anna. I've been trying to think of an angle on this picture for months. Finally I just sat down and started writing. I'm so glad you enjoyed. I look forward to reading your entry. Peace, Lee
Comment from janalma
I am very hesitant to review this as it is so well written and I am rather in awe of your talent. I do have a couple suggestions. I hope you don't mind?
"He nodded again. 'Some.(,) He said it was another name...
...bit down like (a) bricklayer."
I am impressed with your work here. I very much enjoyed hearing from old Sam again. Ha. I know he was witty, so this is probably right on. I thought Dorothy Parker was extremely witty also, tho she seemed a bit unstable to me.
This writing is, I suppose, a very good example of the 'repartee' the literary elites engaged in. I don't know how you did it.
Isn't Parker the one who said, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses?" Good job on this.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I am very hesitant to review this as it is so well written and I am rather in awe of your talent. I do have a couple suggestions. I hope you don't mind?
"He nodded again. 'Some.(,) He said it was another name...
...bit down like (a) bricklayer."
I am impressed with your work here. I very much enjoyed hearing from old Sam again. Ha. I know he was witty, so this is probably right on. I thought Dorothy Parker was extremely witty also, tho she seemed a bit unstable to me.
This writing is, I suppose, a very good example of the 'repartee' the literary elites engaged in. I don't know how you did it.
Isn't Parker the one who said, "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses?" Good job on this.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, janalma. Parker did indeed write the passes/glasses line for the screenplay Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
Yes, Parker made several suicide attempts, and relied heavily on alcohol late in life. But she was brilliant, and an avid advocate for personal and civil rights. She was fascinating. As a teen she was kicked of of a Catholic school for referring to the Immaculate Conception as 'spontaneous combustion.' Thank you so much for your kind words, and the galaxy of stars. Peace, Lee
Comment from pattipac
Really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench and it's occupant. You give ample clues to Sam's identity with the description of the elderly man with snow-white hair, who loves his cigar. Liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorthy and himself. So this is Samuel Clemen's Hell! Conversing with writers of great literature he will never be able to read. While Dorthy's is not being able to converse with anyone who knows what good literature is. Love your creative story.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Really enjoyed reading your 'Vicious Circle' story. You set the scene well by describing the misty night surrounding the lone park bench and it's occupant. You give ample clues to Sam's identity with the description of the elderly man with snow-white hair, who loves his cigar. Liked how your built your story by the give and take between Dorthy and himself. So this is Samuel Clemen's Hell! Conversing with writers of great literature he will never be able to read. While Dorthy's is not being able to converse with anyone who knows what good literature is. Love your creative story.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you, Patricia, for this fine and generous review. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Rama Rao
Reading this piece I had a strange experience. Although I didn't understand who the hell the characters were and what they were talking about, I enjoyed their dialogue, like the cut, thrust and parry of tow eminent lawyers. I could sense you were writing about some literary figures but didn't know till I read the notes.
You are a master of dialogue. This time it's not Peal the Dic but Sam and Dorothy. Their words suited the period. I thought Sam was a fun man. Would he speak like a pompous fat boor?
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Reading this piece I had a strange experience. Although I didn't understand who the hell the characters were and what they were talking about, I enjoyed their dialogue, like the cut, thrust and parry of tow eminent lawyers. I could sense you were writing about some literary figures but didn't know till I read the notes.
You are a master of dialogue. This time it's not Peal the Dic but Sam and Dorothy. Their words suited the period. I thought Sam was a fun man. Would he speak like a pompous fat boor?
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you, RR, and I apologize for the American-centricy of this piece. I tried to make Sam's language and speech patterns a bit more formal than Dorothy's---they were born 75 years apart.
Thank you again. Peace, Lee
