Flash Fiction Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Family That Eats Together..."a selection of my best flash fiction
33 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
An excellent plot and great writing. I'm amazed at your skill at character depiction in so few words. You also wrote a fine ending. Loved the layers of meaning in "We've got another mouth to feed." It connects so cleanly with the importance that Marion attaches to family meals.
I am no expert on ff, but I think it should be either "sermonette" or "mini sermon".
Congratulations on your win.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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An excellent plot and great writing. I'm amazed at your skill at character depiction in so few words. You also wrote a fine ending. Loved the layers of meaning in "We've got another mouth to feed." It connects so cleanly with the importance that Marion attaches to family meals.
I am no expert on ff, but I think it should be either "sermonette" or "mini sermon".
Congratulations on your win.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2011
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Thank you for the great review, Julia. I'll take a look at that spot.
Comment from Kingsland
That would be quite a letter to received by anyone. A bit of a shock wave would transpire in the reading of it. This was a well written short story that kept my interest from first word through last. It was just a pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2011
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That would be quite a letter to received by anyone. A bit of a shock wave would transpire in the reading of it. This was a well written short story that kept my interest from first word through last. It was just a pleasure to have read and written this response for... John
Comment Written 05-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2011
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Thank you for the kind, encouraging review.
Comment from ladywiltse
Wow, another heartfelt story Red. I can see you do have a knack for this kind of writing ~ flash fiction. Where do you get your inspirations from? I am not one who likes to read pages that have lots of writing on them, but I do enjoy your writing:)))
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Wow, another heartfelt story Red. I can see you do have a knack for this kind of writing ~ flash fiction. Where do you get your inspirations from? I am not one who likes to read pages that have lots of writing on them, but I do enjoy your writing:)))
Comment Written 04-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much, Delores. I'm not sure where the story ideas come from--they just flow out of me. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I'm going to enter it in the WOW! Spring FF contest.
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Good luck, I am sure it will do great :)))
Comment from sheilanewton
WOW! Now I know what you mean about every word counting. Congrats on your win - and thank you for all the help with my story. You give me the heart to carry on - and this - THIS -was one of the best pieces of flash fiction I ever read. Unbelievably good. I'm going to get your profile up and be a fan. This is so seriously good.
Congrats again - and again, thanks for the help.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2011
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WOW! Now I know what you mean about every word counting. Congrats on your win - and thank you for all the help with my story. You give me the heart to carry on - and this - THIS -was one of the best pieces of flash fiction I ever read. Unbelievably good. I'm going to get your profile up and be a fan. This is so seriously good.
Congrats again - and again, thanks for the help.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2011
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Thank you so much, Sheila. I'm so glad you enjoyed my story, and I'm pleased that I could help. You should learn a lot with your great attitude.
Comment from Readywriter52
Mr. Jenson discovers that he had a grandson. It won't make up for the loss of his son, but it gives him an opportunity to help his grandson. Since his mother is dying of cancer, he has no one else.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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Mr. Jenson discovers that he had a grandson. It won't make up for the loss of his son, but it gives him an opportunity to help his grandson. Since his mother is dying of cancer, he has no one else.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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Thank you for reading and reviewing
Comment from warbler
This is a wonderful story and I loved it. It was heartwarming and the characters were believable. It held my interest from beginning till end. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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This is a wonderful story and I loved it. It was heartwarming and the characters were believable. It held my interest from beginning till end. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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Thanks so much, I really appreciate the great review.
Comment from sasil
Sorry I ran out of sixers for this tear-jerker, Red. It's really great. Only one quib, and that's probably just me. I'm trying to set a date/period and coming up with mid-late 1990's (Iraq), but the reference to door-to-door saltwater taffy selling throws me, as I always think of that confection as something from the 50's. Probably just me--no worries. I love the play on words at story's end, "We have another mouth to feed"--an acceptance of responsibility and a gift as well. I enjoyed this simple, poignant shortie. The dialog is effective and moves the action/plot without exposition. (Learning a lot from your examples). Best always--S.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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Sorry I ran out of sixers for this tear-jerker, Red. It's really great. Only one quib, and that's probably just me. I'm trying to set a date/period and coming up with mid-late 1990's (Iraq), but the reference to door-to-door saltwater taffy selling throws me, as I always think of that confection as something from the 50's. Probably just me--no worries. I love the play on words at story's end, "We have another mouth to feed"--an acceptance of responsibility and a gift as well. I enjoyed this simple, poignant shortie. The dialog is effective and moves the action/plot without exposition. (Learning a lot from your examples). Best always--S.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2011
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Here in Phx, AZ, we have "underpriviledged" kids come by selling stuff door-to-door to "keep them out of trouble". They carry the stuff in big Rubbermaid containers with snap tops, everthing from salt water taffy to peanut brittle and gummy worms.
Anyway, thanks so much for the great review. I'm glad you are getting something from reading my stories.
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Didn't mean to offend, and I didn't rate against--I sincerely ran out of 6 stars!
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No offense taken, my friend. I'm sorry if I gave that impression. I really am thankful for the great review and generous rating.
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:)
Comment from Haggard
For 800 words that was pretty damn good. I liked it. 5 stars. It was an honour to read this thoughtful, creative piece of work.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2011
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For 800 words that was pretty damn good. I liked it. 5 stars. It was an honour to read this thoughtful, creative piece of work.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2011
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Thank you, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dusty Traveler
An excellent story. Heart grabbing. The story was complete as written. The story gave you a little past history to make the present believable. It also pointed to a future. The description of the mother and son made me wonder what their lives were like.
I did not notice any problems that marred the reading.
Thanks for a good read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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An excellent story. Heart grabbing. The story was complete as written. The story gave you a little past history to make the present believable. It also pointed to a future. The description of the mother and son made me wonder what their lives were like.
I did not notice any problems that marred the reading.
Thanks for a good read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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thank you for the kind review and generous rating
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Very well written. Your plot is tight, the dialog is believable, and your ending is perfect. Good luck in the contest. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Very well written. Your plot is tight, the dialog is believable, and your ending is perfect. Good luck in the contest. :) Nancy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Nancy, I appreciate the great feedback.
