Flash Fiction Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Into the Gathering Storm"a selection of my best flash fiction
44 total reviews
Comment from Yeti777
What a very cool story. Your descriptive texts and the smooth flow of the tale made this reading very enjoyable. I liked the way you, as did the girl, pulled the reader further and further along. You relayed the sense of "calm" extremely well. Not to mention, the name you've given your character is of the utmost class!!
Great job.
Sean
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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What a very cool story. Your descriptive texts and the smooth flow of the tale made this reading very enjoyable. I liked the way you, as did the girl, pulled the reader further and further along. You relayed the sense of "calm" extremely well. Not to mention, the name you've given your character is of the utmost class!!
Great job.
Sean
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed my story and it's so clever of you to catch what I was doing with the woman.
Comment from RebelRose
This is quite an interesting story you have penned. I was interested right from the beginning and remained so. The plot is good as well as the dialogue.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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This is quite an interesting story you have penned. I was interested right from the beginning and remained so. The plot is good as well as the dialogue.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you, RR, I'm so glad my story held your interest.
Comment from Veekz
Love it! Best entry I've read so far in this contest. You capture the reader from the start with this alluring pale woman cavorting around on the rocks singing and keep us guessing as to her purpose for being there. You use wonderfully descriptive language that helps put your audience into the story with parts like:
"He pulled on his coat and checked the pocket for his gun, then shoved his feet into his gum boots. He slipped out the door and paused in the shelter of the porch to brace himself against the cold."
I know he's not actually doing anything particularly important in regards to the rest of story but it sure reads a heck of a lot better then:
"He put on his coat and got his gun, then put his feet into his boots. He went out the door."
This is unfortunately some people's idea of detail! Haha :)
Good luck in the contest; this one should do extremely well :)
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Love it! Best entry I've read so far in this contest. You capture the reader from the start with this alluring pale woman cavorting around on the rocks singing and keep us guessing as to her purpose for being there. You use wonderfully descriptive language that helps put your audience into the story with parts like:
"He pulled on his coat and checked the pocket for his gun, then shoved his feet into his gum boots. He slipped out the door and paused in the shelter of the porch to brace himself against the cold."
I know he's not actually doing anything particularly important in regards to the rest of story but it sure reads a heck of a lot better then:
"He put on his coat and got his gun, then put his feet into his boots. He went out the door."
This is unfortunately some people's idea of detail! Haha :)
Good luck in the contest; this one should do extremely well :)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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LOL! Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed my story so much. I appreciate the warm review and good luck wishes.
Comment from Belinda
Hi Author, what a story. You've done a great job in describing the weather and the storm. It seems the lady does not need any help after all. On the contrary. Interesting story, very fitting for the artwork and contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Hi Author, what a story. You've done a great job in describing the weather and the storm. It seems the lady does not need any help after all. On the contrary. Interesting story, very fitting for the artwork and contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
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Thank you, Belinda, I'm very glad you enjoyed my story, and thank you for the good luck wishes.
