Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Fun and Games"A woman is stalked by a fan
15 total reviews
Comment from shelley kaye
looks like things are going to get a little warm at the regis lol
for your notes at the bottom - would be a cool lead-in to the next chapter (though not a whole chapter) - maybe have her climb a fence and jump a wall or something like that.... then go to cathy and the others at the ball -- just a thought ;)
got a question about this part....
Nathan accepted the job, promising to arrive well before noon the next day.
I'm wondering, is there any chance I can change my next appointment from nine to ten?"
if nathan's going to be there before noon, shouldn't he make his pdoc appt earlier and not later? [from ten to nine]?
a few other thingies i noticed....
look-alikes. <-- shouldn't this be a double-hyphenated word? [look-a-likes]?
under water <-- one word?
amazing Grace <-- since this is what jim calls her should 'amazing' be capped to?
How did you manage that <-- do you say every word in a question like this? LOL how about.... "how'd you manage that?"
other than those little notices - a great chapter.... can't wait to see what happens at the ball!
thanx for sharing!
shelley :)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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looks like things are going to get a little warm at the regis lol
for your notes at the bottom - would be a cool lead-in to the next chapter (though not a whole chapter) - maybe have her climb a fence and jump a wall or something like that.... then go to cathy and the others at the ball -- just a thought ;)
got a question about this part....
Nathan accepted the job, promising to arrive well before noon the next day.
I'm wondering, is there any chance I can change my next appointment from nine to ten?"
if nathan's going to be there before noon, shouldn't he make his pdoc appt earlier and not later? [from ten to nine]?
a few other thingies i noticed....
look-alikes. <-- shouldn't this be a double-hyphenated word? [look-a-likes]?
under water <-- one word?
amazing Grace <-- since this is what jim calls her should 'amazing' be capped to?
How did you manage that <-- do you say every word in a question like this? LOL how about.... "how'd you manage that?"
other than those little notices - a great chapter.... can't wait to see what happens at the ball!
thanx for sharing!
shelley :)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Hey Shelley!
Okay, looks like the consensus is a cap for Amazing, and you point this out, my little caps-impaired poetess! LOL! And yes, I would do a light entre, maybe what would be a full page, page and a half, of a real book. Just enough to let people see Amazin' Grace in action. "Alike" is a word on its own, so no hyphen there, but it should read 'doggie-owner look-alikes.' Did EE get me. Will check and make fix! Always so good to hear from you my little friend!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Korton
Another excellent chapter, Gayle. I suspect that seeing Jim, Lenny and the grils at the tourney will make Nathan go paranoid and bring Norman or some other unsavory character out. The chapter you reference is important to the story, at least from my perspective. The scenario has already been mentioned and it needs to be followed up. Very well done.
chairs facing toward(s) the ocean
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Another excellent chapter, Gayle. I suspect that seeing Jim, Lenny and the grils at the tourney will make Nathan go paranoid and bring Norman or some other unsavory character out. The chapter you reference is important to the story, at least from my perspective. The scenario has already been mentioned and it needs to be followed up. Very well done.
chairs facing toward(s) the ocean
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
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Hey Frank,
I think Nathan will probably flip a bit. Question is, who will win in the end!
Thanks for the great comments!
Gayle
Comment from ZigzagMLT
Another fine chapter. I like that you have set up the golf tournament... I am waiting for something terrible to happen!
I would love to read that other chapter, and popularity here is not the end all and be all, sorry.
The outside world is a lot tougher.
Thanks!
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Another fine chapter. I like that you have set up the golf tournament... I am waiting for something terrible to happen!
I would love to read that other chapter, and popularity here is not the end all and be all, sorry.
The outside world is a lot tougher.
Thanks!
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Hi Zig,
Great comments and thanks for the support.
I think I put that 'popular' a little loosely. What I meant is that in a book like this, leaving the site of the action and making a complete breakoff to go somewhere else is often thought of as 'backstory', kind of a filler. You know, reading on the monitor is a pain.
Okay, one vote for Rudy and Gracie! It's a really exciting chapter, I have to admit. If you don't mind waiting for a day, you got it!
Thanks!
Hugs,
Gayle
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It will be worth the wait, I am sure!
Z
Comment from TimothyGriffin
Nice work. The dialogue is well-written and realistic. The first part of the chapter is also well done - it explains the character's motivations without dragging down the chapter with over explanation. Nice little insight about the dog show - I enjoyed Nathan being a little snarky and looking for dog who looked like their owners. Overall, good job.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Nice work. The dialogue is well-written and realistic. The first part of the chapter is also well done - it explains the character's motivations without dragging down the chapter with over explanation. Nice little insight about the dog show - I enjoyed Nathan being a little snarky and looking for dog who looked like their owners. Overall, good job.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Hi Timothy,
Nathan is a paparazzi who really loves his job! Dogs! Aren't they the best? And it's true, so many people look like their dogs, or is that vice versa?
Thanks for stopping by and for the fine comments.
Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
I would imagine this is a wrap-up chapter to bring your boook to a close. This is very well written and it seems like everyone is getting their lives back.
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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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I would imagine this is a wrap-up chapter to bring your boook to a close. This is very well written and it seems like everyone is getting their lives back.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Weeeel, we have about six more chapters to go. I'm so glad you liked this one, Charlie! Thanks a bunch for the kind words of praise.
Hugs,
Gayle
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You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
