Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Dana Point"A woman is stalked by a fan
14 total reviews
Comment from Korton
Another excellent chapter, Gayle. I read all the way through this one wondering when the two girls were going to get on with their respective red sports cars. Alas, no race, so no winner. Very well done.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Another excellent chapter, Gayle. I read all the way through this one wondering when the two girls were going to get on with their respective red sports cars. Alas, no race, so no winner. Very well done.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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LOL! Frank, if you want to see them get funny with the Jag, I'll send you a chapter from Lethal Intent! It's riot...you may have read it, when the girls and Amy are in Compton and they draw attention from some home boys. Remember that one? I had a ball with it. Besides, we can't have our girls competing against each other!
Thanks and hugs,
Gayle
Comment from shelley kaye
VERY laidback chapter.... loved the paragraph about amy! and the fun conversations between the twins and the guys hehe
one thing i'd like to mention....
where in dana point are they exactly? because i don't know of any houses in dana point that are "steps away from the beach" like that - the neighbors capistrano and san clemente, yes - but not dana point.... just thought i'd point that out :) also maybe describe the drive a little more? i can tell ya about some spots if ya like just tell me what ya wanna know....
also a few spaggies/typos/thingies i noticed....
last nights' take <-- shouldn't this be apostrophe 's?
he no longer worried about making the deposit, <-- sounds kinda weird- maybe 'he no longer worried about HER making A deposit'?
"You're sorry for him, aren't you? <-- how about 'YOU FEEL sorry for him'?
We're leaving on Friday? <-- not sure the question mark - she is stating they're leaving on friday and asking if that's too early - shouldn't that be a period instead of a questions mark?
Sea gulls <-- could be wrong but isn't 'seagulls' one word?
(sorry for the loooonng review lol)
ya still get a fiver though cause i know you'll either fix the stuff or explain it :)
thanx for sharing!!
will be waiting to see how the laidback week back's up (like a toilet LOL!)
shelley :)
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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VERY laidback chapter.... loved the paragraph about amy! and the fun conversations between the twins and the guys hehe
one thing i'd like to mention....
where in dana point are they exactly? because i don't know of any houses in dana point that are "steps away from the beach" like that - the neighbors capistrano and san clemente, yes - but not dana point.... just thought i'd point that out :) also maybe describe the drive a little more? i can tell ya about some spots if ya like just tell me what ya wanna know....
also a few spaggies/typos/thingies i noticed....
last nights' take <-- shouldn't this be apostrophe 's?
he no longer worried about making the deposit, <-- sounds kinda weird- maybe 'he no longer worried about HER making A deposit'?
"You're sorry for him, aren't you? <-- how about 'YOU FEEL sorry for him'?
We're leaving on Friday? <-- not sure the question mark - she is stating they're leaving on friday and asking if that's too early - shouldn't that be a period instead of a questions mark?
Sea gulls <-- could be wrong but isn't 'seagulls' one word?
(sorry for the loooonng review lol)
ya still get a fiver though cause i know you'll either fix the stuff or explain it :)
thanx for sharing!!
will be waiting to see how the laidback week back's up (like a toilet LOL!)
shelley :)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hey Shelley,
Hmmm, the nights', that right, I'm sure. Let me see if anyone else notices it. Her deposit, yes, can do. I think the 'feel' is implicit with the You're sorry for him...no, yes? Let me check it out. EE snuck in three ???s..I got the others, let me see about that one. Seagulls, one word, now I'm getting perplexed.
No apologies for the long review. You had lots to share! You got that backup thingy right, too.
Hugs and thanks,
Gayle
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
On the whole, it was a nice read. Some part was totally expressive and descriptive and the rest heavily depended on dialogues. there must be a nice balance between the two.
good one, anyhow!
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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On the whole, it was a nice read. Some part was totally expressive and descriptive and the rest heavily depended on dialogues. there must be a nice balance between the two.
good one, anyhow!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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It is a little difficult to come into a book toward the end, I understand that.
Thank you.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written chapter. Everyone is ready to relax and have some fun. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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This is a very well written chapter. Everyone is ready to relax and have some fun. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good job.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Hey Charlie, Thanks so much for the wonderful review and comments. Glad you liked this one,
Hugs,
Gayle
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You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
