Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "More About Rudy"A woman is stalked by a fan
16 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
I decided to check in here from time to time inbetween some other stuff going on. Good chapter. Now, you own your own Dobies, right? I was a sheppard owner. I gre up with the breed. catch ya later.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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I decided to check in here from time to time inbetween some other stuff going on. Good chapter. Now, you own your own Dobies, right? I was a sheppard owner. I gre up with the breed. catch ya later.
hugs
book
Comment Written 17-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2010
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Hi there ... from one book to another, lol, it's good to see ya in the hood, Heidi. Yes, I'm a Dobie girl but I like the sheppard as well. So nice to see you around!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Allezw2
Lady Gayle,
What a nice read.
Two people at the peak of their physical ability and a an interest in each other, hot dog.
The interaction is really quite affecting.
Be interesting to see how she would like the "Kilo", a former Russian Navy diesel submarine at the San Diego Maritime museum.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
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Lady Gayle,
What a nice read.
Two people at the peak of their physical ability and a an interest in each other, hot dog.
The interaction is really quite affecting.
Be interesting to see how she would like the "Kilo", a former Russian Navy diesel submarine at the San Diego Maritime museum.
Nicely done,
Fantasist
Comment Written 13-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2010
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Hey Wayne,
Thanks so much for the fine review. I think Rudy and Cathy make a great couple and I'm glad you agree.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from RenieReader
Marvelous, just marvelous interaction between Rudy and Cathy. They must have known each other in a previous life. :D We always want a happy ending, but this doesn't look too good for Suzi.
"What [do] you do when you're not training dogs?"
Hugs and kudos,
Renie
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Marvelous, just marvelous interaction between Rudy and Cathy. They must have known each other in a previous life. :D We always want a happy ending, but this doesn't look too good for Suzi.
"What [do] you do when you're not training dogs?"
Hugs and kudos,
Renie
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Hey Renie,
I'll get that extra do in there. Yes, I really like them together. It took a while to get Rudy his own story, but I like what the wait produced!
Hugs and thanks,
Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
You are doing a good job of building the romance factor between Cathy and Rudy. This is well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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You are doing a good job of building the romance factor between Cathy and Rudy. This is well written with good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Hey Charlie,
Thanks for stopping by and for the R&R. Is Rebecca getting to read along? I know she can't review but I hope she can get to go along.
Thanks again!
Gayle
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You're welcome, Gayle. Charlie
Comment from ZigzagMLT
Keep em coming. I am still hooked. More and more intrigued. I love how you weave.
It is nice to hear more about Rudy... and to watch, read, the expressions on Cathy's face. They are so clear, that I am right there in the room.
Thanks so much for your work.
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Keep em coming. I am still hooked. More and more intrigued. I love how you weave.
It is nice to hear more about Rudy... and to watch, read, the expressions on Cathy's face. They are so clear, that I am right there in the room.
Thanks so much for your work.
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Hi Zig,
I really love Rudy. He's my kinda guy and I'm glad you agree. Once I can finally get all the players in place, the book kicks into high gear. When you're reading it, in ms form, you're only on page 40! Seems like it should be 140. Ah, that's Fanstory, tho, only two submissions a day!
Thanks again<~>
Gayle
Comment from jayesnb
This a very well crafted chapter. You included a lot of information into the dialogue which I found to be great..
No errors that I could see. A great read.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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This a very well crafted chapter. You included a lot of information into the dialogue which I found to be great..
No errors that I could see. A great read.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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thanks so much, Jaye. I appreciate the input and great rating! See you again soon,
Gayle
Comment from joelh605
She pointed out different restaurants as her nose told her they approached,
Grammar radar warning: "...restaurants...they approached" - the "they" has to refer back to restaurants, as though Cathy and Rudy are standing still. But, for only one payment of $19.95 (and, there's more!) you could change "as" to "which" and "approached" to "were approaching" - - - whole new ballgame.
...[shepherds] have a hell of a bite, second only to the Rotti in power.
Surprising - I thought a mastiff or pit bull would be at the top of that list.
Sorry there isn't more to fix [ sound of grown man sighing ]
Joel
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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She pointed out different restaurants as her nose told her they approached,
Grammar radar warning: "...restaurants...they approached" - the "they" has to refer back to restaurants, as though Cathy and Rudy are standing still. But, for only one payment of $19.95 (and, there's more!) you could change "as" to "which" and "approached" to "were approaching" - - - whole new ballgame.
...[shepherds] have a hell of a bite, second only to the Rotti in power.
Surprising - I thought a mastiff or pit bull would be at the top of that list.
Sorry there isn't more to fix [ sound of grown man sighing ]
Joel
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Hey Joel,
Y'know, when I wrote that sentence I knew it was wrong. Got to pining for Doris ... remember her? Anyway, your fix is great and I will implement. Funny how just a word here or there can change the whole meaning of the sentence!
Yes, I was surprised at that, too. I figured the Pit Bull, but what they do is they bite and lock, which is why, if you can keep your cool, they are easier to fight than say, a Dobie, who'll bite you 67 times to Sunday before you even realize it. Whereas, with a Pit Bull, if you have a knife or a board, even, you can just clobber them in the head. Ah, the informative and bloody things you learn when you research dogs. LOL!
Thanks for the great review!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Readywriter52
Cathy enjoyed her day out with Rudy. She seems to like him. They have something in common. They both like dogs and horses. She misses Suzi, but she seems to realize that Suzi might not ever be found. I believe that if she does go with Rudy for the weekend, she will enjoy herself.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Cathy enjoyed her day out with Rudy. She seems to like him. They have something in common. They both like dogs and horses. She misses Suzi, but she seems to realize that Suzi might not ever be found. I believe that if she does go with Rudy for the weekend, she will enjoy herself.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Hi Ready,
So nice to see you again. Thanks for the great review!
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
You are wasting no time in having Cathy and Rudy get interested in each other, which I like. And it's obvious that this is going to upset the slimebucket. Again, lots of description in a way that's easy to read. As you know, I like description, myself, even if it's sorta outta style nowadays.
I have one suggestion:
"There was now a third bag under Rudy's arm as they continued down the street." I have a thing about sentences that begin with "There was." I'd write, "A third bag rested under Rudy's arm..."
Dave
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Gayle,
You are wasting no time in having Cathy and Rudy get interested in each other, which I like. And it's obvious that this is going to upset the slimebucket. Again, lots of description in a way that's easy to read. As you know, I like description, myself, even if it's sorta outta style nowadays.
I have one suggestion:
"There was now a third bag under Rudy's arm as they continued down the street." I have a thing about sentences that begin with "There was." I'd write, "A third bag rested under Rudy's arm..."
Dave
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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'Mornin', Dave,
You are absolutely right. I'll get that 'there was' outa there.
We're coming into a part of the book I really like and it's making me get anxious! It gets frustrating when you can only post two chapters a day!
Ah, patience! ;)
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very good. I enjoyed reading this chapter. It did a good job adding to the previous chapter. Your dialogue use was good and moved the story along at a good pace. Your setting was well decribed.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Very good. I enjoyed reading this chapter. It did a good job adding to the previous chapter. Your dialogue use was good and moved the story along at a good pace. Your setting was well decribed.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2010
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Hi Barbara,
Thanks for the great review and your comments. I appreciate your input and look forward to your reviews.
Gayle
