Christmas was on a Monday that Year
Desperate times during the Ardennes Offensive.28 total reviews
Comment from franmar
Good story, probably because of the truth to it. I liked the dialogue and the way the story was told. It was as if the author was telling the story to me and it flowed from his lips with ease. I could see him remembering the events as he related them.
I really enjoyed the setting of a man talking to a group of seniors, they were his peers but he was elevated apart from them like a man on horseback.
I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Good story, probably because of the truth to it. I liked the dialogue and the way the story was told. It was as if the author was telling the story to me and it flowed from his lips with ease. I could see him remembering the events as he related them.
I really enjoyed the setting of a man talking to a group of seniors, they were his peers but he was elevated apart from them like a man on horseback.
I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Master franmar, the inscrutable,
First, welcome to the URL. There are any number of exciting works to peruse.
I hope you will take the opportunity to read an review them as well as sharing your insights with your own bits of fantasy.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from azbukivedi
What an amazing story. I don't know how much of it is fiction, I hope not all of it. The only thing I would suggest is tone down the medical details, especially the treatments. What happened in that hut might be relevant, but everything beforehand could be shortened. And the entire interrogation could be used in another story. You see, a short story is not a novel, it has to be focused. Here, you have two stories, and the interrogation doesn't have much to do with the Christmas story. Just my two cents.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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What an amazing story. I don't know how much of it is fiction, I hope not all of it. The only thing I would suggest is tone down the medical details, especially the treatments. What happened in that hut might be relevant, but everything beforehand could be shortened. And the entire interrogation could be used in another story. You see, a short story is not a novel, it has to be focused. Here, you have two stories, and the interrogation doesn't have much to do with the Christmas story. Just my two cents.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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LadyABC36D,
Thank you for the perceptive discussion and analysis.
In retrospect, yes, your points are valid. Especially the interrogation. I had several thoughts about it as the scene developed. It is based on fact. There were Skorzeny's English speaking commandos loose behind the American and British lines during the inital phase of the battle.
As you suggest, it is not absolutely necessary to the story, more as a vignette to make the reader aware of the circumstances facing the Americans in the early hours of the battle.
Verisimilitude is important to me. Even so, the clinical details could be simplified, and procedures need not be so explicit.
I am pleased that you were willing to take the time to offer an opinion and provide these suggestions for review.
I thank you for that privilege.
Fantasist
Comment from IndianaIrish
Dearest Fanatist...
This is the kind of story that will stay with me for a long, long time. I was so captivated...completely lost in your words. I wanted to be there to help Frederick as he helped the soldiers as he could. The ending is so moving and it made me cry. Christmas can be magic even in the terrors of war. Thank you for sharing your story.
Merry Christmas with warm smiles to you,
Lady Irish
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Dearest Fanatist...
This is the kind of story that will stay with me for a long, long time. I was so captivated...completely lost in your words. I wanted to be there to help Frederick as he helped the soldiers as he could. The ending is so moving and it made me cry. Christmas can be magic even in the terrors of war. Thank you for sharing your story.
Merry Christmas with warm smiles to you,
Lady Irish
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Lady IndianaIrish,
Thank you for the kind words.
I really try for verisimilitude in my pieces.
I try to imagine how someone we never knew might have acted and under what circumstances did that individual succeed or was affected by these events.
Surprisingly, most of the emergency techniques were still WWI-based as Penicillin was not available until late in WWII. There were only the Sulfa packets available. These were apparently still in use during the early months of the Korean War.
One might hope that even as the Holiday fades into the new year, a little bit of the spirit will remain.
I hope your holiday, now approaching an end in your time zone, was joyous. The best to you and yours in the new year, too.
Fantasist
FYI
My series, "Honor, Duty, Commitment" briefly introduces a Navy Nurse Corps Lieutenant in Viet Nam who is badly injured during a MedeVac from the Marine outpost at Khe Sanh during the siege. The C-130 is hit by NVA artillery, crashes on the field and the resulting fire leaves her with terrible burns over a near-fatal percentage of her body..
She is, in turn, MedEvaced to Saigon General and then to the USAH Tripler in Hawai'i. where the protagonist and others are "volunteered" by a strong-willed character who as a major of the Army Nurse Corps "persuades" them to give her their companionship while she is undergoing the agony of skin transplants and immobilized in the burn ward.
Just for kicks, have you ever thought of writing of your experiences as a nurse? You briefly mentioned Bradley and that certainly piqued my interest.
Either fiction, based on fact, or a memoir, I would think you would be outstanding in that role.
Comment from brunettdream
Ooo! A war story! Great! I love these
Its very sad though. I found myself almost crying.
I did enjoy it
You wrote it well
Great job!
No spags or mistakes to name
~Brunettdream
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Ooo! A war story! Great! I love these
Its very sad though. I found myself almost crying.
I did enjoy it
You wrote it well
Great job!
No spags or mistakes to name
~Brunettdream
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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brunettdream,
Well, thank you.
You and MagicaDragon, breathless.
I appreciate your stopping by to track this whimsy of mine.
A kool yule and a frantic first.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist.
Comment from Oatmeal
Allezw2,
This story has tears flowing down my cheeks. It is just a little more than I can handle. They used to know my face at Ft Hood because I was an entertainer there for five years before Desert Storm. I was also in a commercial by Fatigues and Things.
I used to sneak into the barracks with a couple of the LRRPS. I would leave small notes on the soldiers helmets when they used to fall asleep on duty. One time there was a room check. I had no way out so I ducked into the Sgts shower. They came in and left. The Sgt was called to the main office and the General told him that his shower had the best set of legs that he had ever seen!
I was dating Sgt Kary at the time. This was right before I met my second husband.
Your story is truly a touching piece. I enjoyed reading it very much. I am not cut out for stuff like that. I have always been an indoor girl.
Your story line flowed well. The characters were realistic. The dialogs flowed well. The descriptions were wonderful.
Thank you for the enjoyable read. There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Allezw2,
This story has tears flowing down my cheeks. It is just a little more than I can handle. They used to know my face at Ft Hood because I was an entertainer there for five years before Desert Storm. I was also in a commercial by Fatigues and Things.
I used to sneak into the barracks with a couple of the LRRPS. I would leave small notes on the soldiers helmets when they used to fall asleep on duty. One time there was a room check. I had no way out so I ducked into the Sgts shower. They came in and left. The Sgt was called to the main office and the General told him that his shower had the best set of legs that he had ever seen!
I was dating Sgt Kary at the time. This was right before I met my second husband.
Your story is truly a touching piece. I enjoyed reading it very much. I am not cut out for stuff like that. I have always been an indoor girl.
Your story line flowed well. The characters were realistic. The dialogs flowed well. The descriptions were wonderful.
Thank you for the enjoyable read. There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Lady Oatmeal,
Waiting up for Santa?
Regardless, thanks for stopping by. You kind affirmation and detailed high jinks were worth a posting by themselves.
The Navy is a little more hard-nosed about the fire watches asleep on duty. The tinder boxes we had for barracks at Hunters Point in San Francisco were a case in point. The emergency egress was four boxes, two on each side of the barracks' main room. The idea was that you tossed the knotted rope out thorugh the window and lowered yourself hand-over-hand. Imagine thirty guys on each station trying to get down from the second deck!
The new Navy is sometimes a real zoo with the mixed gender crewed ships now almost all of the vessels in the fleet.
You might like to check out the December issue of Unites States Naval Institute Proceedings. It is their first issue devoted to women in the US military. You'll love the account of the "Benzene Queen"!
Check out:
www.usni.org
Fantasist
Comment from hyway94
Very good, the story does have a good flow to it and I could not find any spag. This was in ww two? You must really getting up in years I was born in 1942, and I'm 65. I'm not saying any thing I was just wondering how old you were when you went in. That would put you in your 70 or 80. And if you are this old I say to you well done. I hope I make it. Also I'm glad you made it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Very good, the story does have a good flow to it and I could not find any spag. This was in ww two? You must really getting up in years I was born in 1942, and I'm 65. I'm not saying any thing I was just wondering how old you were when you went in. That would put you in your 70 or 80. And if you are this old I say to you well done. I hope I make it. Also I'm glad you made it.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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hyway94,
Thanks for tripping through my universe. If it made for a pleasant few minutes, I am pleased.
I appreciate the expression of regard also, thank you.
Live long and write well.
Fantasist
Comment from FrankieT
A terific story, Allezw2. Well written with a good setting of scenes, good dialogue which was realistic and some clear imagery, as well. :0)
frankieT
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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A terific story, Allezw2. Well written with a good setting of scenes, good dialogue which was realistic and some clear imagery, as well. :0)
frankieT
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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FrankieT,
Thanks for checking out this bit of whimsy. I appreciate the regard expressed and I thank you for that, too.
Fantasist
Comment from lerkun
hello my dearest fantasist...a very merry season to you... this brought tears to my eyes..wonderful write of color and pride forgotten in the respect for each to have the chance to live....couple of little things below but not enough to stop the waterin'
b well always
k
couldn?t save, put aside to save our attention for the less seriously wounded. < thought mayb u could chop a 'save'
Late, Sarge. I need < later?
was similar the to the line shacks on < the
Reet, Doc. Take < reet?
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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hello my dearest fantasist...a very merry season to you... this brought tears to my eyes..wonderful write of color and pride forgotten in the respect for each to have the chance to live....couple of little things below but not enough to stop the waterin'
b well always
k
couldn?t save, put aside to save our attention for the less seriously wounded. < thought mayb u could chop a 'save'
Late, Sarge. I need < later?
was similar the to the line shacks on < the
Reet, Doc. Take < reet?
Comment Written 24-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Lady Lerkun,
"Reet, neat" is early forties American slang for "Right, I understand and will comply." Neat" means that it is a good idea and the speaker approves.
Reet, neat, toots!
Thanks for the time to check out my bit of fantasy and the gracious check..
Wayne
