Christmas was on a Monday that Year
Desperate times during the Ardennes Offensive.28 total reviews
Comment from Kym Jade
An outstanding story of bravery and deep compassion for others. I was locked into very word from the beginning to the end. Thank you for sharing you talent with us once again
Love and blessings for the New Year
Kym and Jade
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2007
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An outstanding story of bravery and deep compassion for others. I was locked into very word from the beginning to the end. Thank you for sharing you talent with us once again
Love and blessings for the New Year
Kym and Jade
Comment Written 30-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2007
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Ladies Kym and Jade,
Nearing the moment for your new year in the beginning days of your austral summer, aren't you?
At least it is shorter this time, neh?
Thanks for stopping by.
May I return your kind wishes with a further hope for a happier and more peaceful time in the coming year.
Wayne
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Thank you Wayne,
It is 11.16 in the morning here on the last day of 2007. So from here in the future we wish only the best the future can bring.
Love and hugs
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Thank you, and you are most welcome. Our best wishes to you and yours in the coming year and far beyond.
Comment from daisyfly
What a great story you have told here. There is something so amazing about hearing this kind of story - we always feel so removed from the effects of war, until someone puts it right in front of you. Thanks so much for sharing!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2007
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What a great story you have told here. There is something so amazing about hearing this kind of story - we always feel so removed from the effects of war, until someone puts it right in front of you. Thanks so much for sharing!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2007
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Lady daisyfly,
How nice to see your kind words of encouragement.
I am always curious about how individuals caught up in history's great events lived and thought.
There are so many of these potential tales to tell that can be interesting as well as educational.
I appreciate your attention and generous regard.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from davidray
How could I not give excellence fo rthis, Wayne?I'm glad I took the time to find this. You must have posted this before I asked you onto my fanlist.If ther eis anythingm ore humbling and amazing than the unity of two opposing soldiers seeing eye to eye during war,I have yet to hear about it. Spectacular, the stories you must be able to share with your love dones.Thank sfor sharing this with me. I use dto know this o ne chap who serve din WW2 and never would speak of it. He said the screams he will take to his grave. I did find some rather small sprinkles of imperfections throughout, but your story rocked.Everyone alive should be able to appreciate stories like this, especially with the veterans slowly leaving us.Not as many left anymore.
Here are some of the little things for your attention:
-and my fellows experienced (period required.)
-Christ man, are you just playing a game trying to find a question I can?t answer or do you want to let me get to work. (question mark)
-Third brigade.. (Brigade.And why the 2 periods?)
-The other man spoke, ?Ease off. It?s seven. He knows it.? (period after 'spoke')
-I shrugged out of the straps and set it down in front of me and stepped back as ordered. Remove one of your 'and's. 'I shrugged out of the strap and set it down in front of me, before stepping back as ordered.' Or, you could just write '... shrugged out of the strap, set it down in front of me, and stepped back as ordered.')
-the old timer relaxed with his weapon at port arms, ?You have your own ('you' shouldn't be capitalized in the quotes the way you set it up)
-?What?s a sailor like you doin? here,? he asked. (question mark)
-I was using my flashlight to reach them among the trees. (I used my flashlight ...)
-Unbelievably, I found an intact building. It was similar to the line shacks on my uncle?s ranch. ('Unbelievably, I found an intact building, similar to the line shacks on my uncle's ranch.'
I've always been told about dropping the slow 'telling' words for the quicker 'showing' ones. 'Was' is o ne of the worst.My tutor told me to get rid of the slow words whenerver possible.)
-The wounded man was quiet, but the tears were running down his face.
(The wounded man stayed quiet, but the tears ran down his face.' Just trying to rid of the slow stuff, Wayne, to see what you think of it.)
-I had them ready right quick and the guys took them out for the long trip to safety and advanced care. (I've bene told rarely ever to have 'and' in a sentence twice.)
-Blood was dripping onto the floor fast enough (Blood dripped onto the floor fast enough ...)
-and wiped away the blood on his skin.,(added a comma by mistake)
-?Danke? (period missing in the quotes)
Can't think of anything major to argue against.You must have been proud on the stage that day. I can't help but think there wouldn't have been too many dry eyes in the building.
Thank you for the German touches. It is my first language. Danke chien.
Always, David
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2007
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How could I not give excellence fo rthis, Wayne?I'm glad I took the time to find this. You must have posted this before I asked you onto my fanlist.If ther eis anythingm ore humbling and amazing than the unity of two opposing soldiers seeing eye to eye during war,I have yet to hear about it. Spectacular, the stories you must be able to share with your love dones.Thank sfor sharing this with me. I use dto know this o ne chap who serve din WW2 and never would speak of it. He said the screams he will take to his grave. I did find some rather small sprinkles of imperfections throughout, but your story rocked.Everyone alive should be able to appreciate stories like this, especially with the veterans slowly leaving us.Not as many left anymore.
Here are some of the little things for your attention:
-and my fellows experienced (period required.)
-Christ man, are you just playing a game trying to find a question I can?t answer or do you want to let me get to work. (question mark)
-Third brigade.. (Brigade.And why the 2 periods?)
-The other man spoke, ?Ease off. It?s seven. He knows it.? (period after 'spoke')
-I shrugged out of the straps and set it down in front of me and stepped back as ordered. Remove one of your 'and's. 'I shrugged out of the strap and set it down in front of me, before stepping back as ordered.' Or, you could just write '... shrugged out of the strap, set it down in front of me, and stepped back as ordered.')
-the old timer relaxed with his weapon at port arms, ?You have your own ('you' shouldn't be capitalized in the quotes the way you set it up)
-?What?s a sailor like you doin? here,? he asked. (question mark)
-I was using my flashlight to reach them among the trees. (I used my flashlight ...)
-Unbelievably, I found an intact building. It was similar to the line shacks on my uncle?s ranch. ('Unbelievably, I found an intact building, similar to the line shacks on my uncle's ranch.'
I've always been told about dropping the slow 'telling' words for the quicker 'showing' ones. 'Was' is o ne of the worst.My tutor told me to get rid of the slow words whenerver possible.)
-The wounded man was quiet, but the tears were running down his face.
(The wounded man stayed quiet, but the tears ran down his face.' Just trying to rid of the slow stuff, Wayne, to see what you think of it.)
-I had them ready right quick and the guys took them out for the long trip to safety and advanced care. (I've bene told rarely ever to have 'and' in a sentence twice.)
-Blood was dripping onto the floor fast enough (Blood dripped onto the floor fast enough ...)
-and wiped away the blood on his skin.,(added a comma by mistake)
-?Danke? (period missing in the quotes)
Can't think of anything major to argue against.You must have been proud on the stage that day. I can't help but think there wouldn't have been too many dry eyes in the building.
Thank you for the German touches. It is my first language. Danke chien.
Always, David
Comment Written 28-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2007
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Master davidray,
Thank you for the comprehensive and so correct critique.
Who would not appreciate a review that offers an opportunity to improve the accuracy and readability of a piece.
I did not realize that you are apparently one of the rare individuals here with English as a second language.
I also understand that different languages have differing noun, verb, adjective relationships. Often, the syntax of one bleeds into the other when writing or speaking.
I now better understand some of the less often used forms of sentence structure prevalent in your writing.
Live long and write well,
Wayne/Fantasist
I am flattered that you might think I am the character I wrote about. It is strictly fiction, written after a bit or research, to be as close to what an individual might have actually experienced at that time.
I am a fantasist, fantasizing, imagining how it might have been. I am an amateur history buff. The smaller events that are overshadowed by the greater span of history intrigue me.
The German language sequences seemed the only way to place these two different cultures into a situation where intentions could be only communicated by facial expression, tone of voice, and actions. These men cooperated based solely on their perceived duty to provide care for their injured fellow man.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Very well-written and believable tale. It wouldn't take much to convince me that his was non-fiction. I like the inquisition, but would like to have some idea of where they are when they're interrogating him. A longer piece, but engaging with a fast pace. Extremely professional write. Happy New Year. Ray.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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Very well-written and believable tale. It wouldn't take much to convince me that his was non-fiction. I like the inquisition, but would like to have some idea of where they are when they're interrogating him. A longer piece, but engaging with a fast pace. Extremely professional write. Happy New Year. Ray.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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Master RaymondJohn,
Thank you for your interest and kind words of encouragement. I do try for a solid air of verisimilitude. My intent is to present what an individual in that place and time would observe and how that individual might react.
You are also the first reviewer to have used the Blinders On facility to read and analyze one of my postings.
That would certainly seem to put a premium on the appeal of the title, and author notes. I appreciate your interest based on those elements.
As to location, I used the detail of a brief posting as a header before a couple of the segments to identify the location, date, and time.
Initially the story began somewhere southwest of St. Vith, and was shifted to somewhere south of German-held St. Vith and east of Bastogne in the Belgian/German Alsace/Ardennes forest.
The front was so fluid in the first few days that personnel of both sides were intermixed among the forest's trees and few knew where they were when separated from their main formations in the confusion.
This situation did not change until American reinforcements arrived and they were able to stabilize their front and begin the counter-attack.
This confusion led to the unusual incidents of cooperation and laissez faire attitudes shown by the medical corps of both sides.
Again, I appreciate your thoughtful interest in this piece.
Wayne
Comment from Chester McEnroe
That was something else. This was a very gripping holiday piece. You write with a solid narration that keeps the reader going. Awesome stuff!
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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That was something else. This was a very gripping holiday piece. You write with a solid narration that keeps the reader going. Awesome stuff!
Comment Written 26-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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Master Chester McEnroe,
You kind words are deeply appreciated.
It is not wholly fiction, and is based on historical fact.
I like to imagine the people who created these events, who they were and what they did, and whether or not they lived through them.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from mmichelle97219
These are the thoughts and memories that should be recorded for history as they speak louder than any book. I thought this to be an excellent post.
Michelle
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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These are the thoughts and memories that should be recorded for history as they speak louder than any book. I thought this to be an excellent post.
Michelle
Comment Written 26-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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Lady M&M,
Thank your for this stirring affirmation. It is a pleasure to present a piece that be can read and impresses an audience positively.
The best of the new year to you and yours.
Fantasist
Comment from conniet
I thought the story was a very interesting one, that made me want to keep on reading to the very end. Reading war stories is not my favorite, but yours is one of the best! Connie
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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I thought the story was a very interesting one, that made me want to keep on reading to the very end. Reading war stories is not my favorite, but yours is one of the best! Connie
Comment Written 26-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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ConnieT,
Thanks for stopping by.
I appreciate your time spent to read and comment on this bit of whimsy.
Live long and write well,
Fantasist
Comment from CALLAHANMR
This is an excellent story, full of great detail and emotion. You sound like you have a great knowledge of medical procedure, as well. One of my reviewing friends recommended this story, so I looked it up, and she was right in her recommendation. It packs a strong emotional punch. MC
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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This is an excellent story, full of great detail and emotion. You sound like you have a great knowledge of medical procedure, as well. One of my reviewing friends recommended this story, so I looked it up, and she was right in her recommendation. It packs a strong emotional punch. MC
Comment Written 26-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2007
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Lady CALLAHANMR,
Thank you for the encouraging words and expression of approval.
It is not entirely of whole cloth. There were numerous incidents documented where the wounded of both sides were succored in the field by their opponents.
I appreciate your interest, for which I thank you too.
Fantasist
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I believe you have reviewed some of my chapters also. I seem to remember that we exchanged material on WWII regarading my book on Holland. Am I correct? MC
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:Lady CALLAHANMR,
Yes, I have and it was an interesting read.
I have bookmarked and sent to my bookcase your work thus far.
As they say, too good to lay down, so I want to have an uninterrupted chance to begin and finish what you have offered.
Fantasist
Comment from Ragnar
Very well written...I like the part on how the Gettysburg address began...seven years or ten?...priceless
The dialogue was excellent. I could vividly imagine that particular scene being played out...The interrogating soldiers asking questions without knowing the answers themselves.
what's on the state flag?
who the hell knows? probably only one guy and it wasn't the sentries
Thank you for an enjoyable read
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Very well written...I like the part on how the Gettysburg address began...seven years or ten?...priceless
The dialogue was excellent. I could vividly imagine that particular scene being played out...The interrogating soldiers asking questions without knowing the answers themselves.
what's on the state flag?
who the hell knows? probably only one guy and it wasn't the sentries
Thank you for an enjoyable read
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Ragnar the Inscrutable,
Thank you for the interesting post.
One of the real occurrences was when General Omar Bradley was detained by troops who did not believe that Chicago was not the capital city of Illinois.
In the movie "Battleground", a senior officer baffled by the word, "lager", wonders if it is a baseball term. It was overplayed, but did exhibit the brief hysteria of the troops trying to root out Skorzeny's infiltrators.
I appreciate your stopping by.
Fantasist
Comment from nor84
casualties coming in/came in. I suggest using "arrived' for the second phrase or a couple were brought in to get away from repeating "casualties"
WONDERFUL contest entry! If I could vote, it would win.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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casualties coming in/came in. I suggest using "arrived' for the second phrase or a couple were brought in to get away from repeating "casualties"
WONDERFUL contest entry! If I could vote, it would win.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2007
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2007
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Lady nor84,
Brilliant and most perceptive.
I am somewhat chagrined that I did not see it.
It validates the premise that the observer on the side sees all the moves that should have been made.
Thank you for calling my attention to a way to improve the piece and the kind words of encouragement..
Fantasist
