Buried Secrets
5/7/5 poem10 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Hmm, family secrets. That's always an interesting subject. I wonder if they're really better off left buried or if they're better discussed and learned from the mistakes. Not sure. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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Hmm, family secrets. That's always an interesting subject. I wonder if they're really better off left buried or if they're better discussed and learned from the mistakes. Not sure. I enjoyed reading and wish you luck with the contest.
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 11-May-2024
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It depends on the secret, often they can set off old tensions and anger. Yet, I see your point. These days there are few secrets one cannot ferret out on the internet. Thank you so much for the thoughtful review.
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Very true.
Comment from Mymy Khan
The short poem emanates a deep sense of wisdom. It is very well-written and tackles a difficult theme in few words. I enjoyed your work. All the best,
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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The short poem emanates a deep sense of wisdom. It is very well-written and tackles a difficult theme in few words. I enjoyed your work. All the best,
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Thank you so much for this lovely review
Comment from Maryam Kob
This poem does exactly what a poem is meant to do: arouse emotions and communicate beyond words. I wish the last line could induce more of these emotions rather than provide a "call to action".
Can't wait to read more of your work. I know 5-7-5 poems can be a challenge. Great job on nailing the pattern. All the best. (:
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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This poem does exactly what a poem is meant to do: arouse emotions and communicate beyond words. I wish the last line could induce more of these emotions rather than provide a "call to action".
Can't wait to read more of your work. I know 5-7-5 poems can be a challenge. Great job on nailing the pattern. All the best. (:
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Thanks, I guess
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Sometimes the past is best forgotten and when those secrets rise up and haunt us we wish they remained buried, you said all this is so few words Val, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Sometimes the past is best forgotten and when those secrets rise up and haunt us we wish they remained buried, you said all this is so few words Val, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Dolly
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent 5/7/5 Val. It may sound morbid, but I enjoy walking through old cemeteries. Often you find a story hidden in the well chosen words giving you an idea of their life.
I really enjoyed your poem. Great play on words.
Hope you are doing well. My husband continues to get stronger. Now the weather is nice, we get out for our walks again which is very helpful.
I have a poem I'm working on but the right words seem to be alluding me. Maybe tomorrow. (smile)
Blessings my friend
Janet
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Excellent 5/7/5 Val. It may sound morbid, but I enjoy walking through old cemeteries. Often you find a story hidden in the well chosen words giving you an idea of their life.
I really enjoyed your poem. Great play on words.
Hope you are doing well. My husband continues to get stronger. Now the weather is nice, we get out for our walks again which is very helpful.
I have a poem I'm working on but the right words seem to be alluding me. Maybe tomorrow. (smile)
Blessings my friend
Janet
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Oh, Janet. You give me more credit than I deserve, but I love it. My brother and my angel tended old graves that many left behind. So many stories in cemeteries, I agree. So glad your husband is healing. Sending great wishes.
Comment from jessizero
This was a good 5-7-5 for the contest. You got the syllable count right, and your message was nice. I would only say that the font is a bit too small, but that doesn't affect how good your poem was. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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This was a good 5-7-5 for the contest. You got the syllable count right, and your message was nice. I would only say that the font is a bit too small, but that doesn't affect how good your poem was. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you for the great review, and agree the presentation is lacking. I am honestly not very at that.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Old Secrets Buried, has the proper formatting and suggests that it is better for the dead to bury their own. What was that life should be left to that generation.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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This 5-7-5, Old Secrets Buried, has the proper formatting and suggests that it is better for the dead to bury their own. What was that life should be left to that generation.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you. And yes your observation is spot on.
Comment from Mark Jackson
Very simple but very effective. I enjoyed reading it. Was the picture relevant to you or the story? A difficult media to review so I guess all that is left is to say the best of luck with it.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Very simple but very effective. I enjoyed reading it. Was the picture relevant to you or the story? A difficult media to review so I guess all that is left is to say the best of luck with it.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is such a cute post, saying so much in so little! I like the contrasting words of 'arise' and 'buried' giving us a sense that they're rising unwanted to the surface, like ghosts, and you need to push them back down again. The only suggestion I'd make is to give Better a lower case 'b' which would enhance fluency (always welcome in a 5-7-5). But an excellent entry, Val! Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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This is such a cute post, saying so much in so little! I like the contrasting words of 'arise' and 'buried' giving us a sense that they're rising unwanted to the surface, like ghosts, and you need to push them back down again. The only suggestion I'd make is to give Better a lower case 'b' which would enhance fluency (always welcome in a 5-7-5). But an excellent entry, Val! Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you I will consider your suggestion. Always appreciate other's thoughts
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good artwork and presentation, Val.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-I like the premise of the opening lines when
"family secrets" could be revealed from a grave stone.
-A very good closing line with good alliteration
with the 'b' sound and a good message.
-I think it is also a good idea.
-A good entry; good luck!!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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-Good artwork and presentation, Val.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-I like the premise of the opening lines when
"family secrets" could be revealed from a grave stone.
-A very good closing line with good alliteration
with the 'b' sound and a good message.
-I think it is also a good idea.
-A good entry; good luck!!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Once again, thank you for your support
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You are very welcome.
