Meeting Belphegor
a free verse17 total reviews
Comment from Sallyo
...sitting on the loo, twirling his tail.
I hadn't heard of this particular demon. Maybe I missed his acquaintance. Your piece is a wonderfully free-versified litany of excuses for the narrator's lack of action.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
...sitting on the loo, twirling his tail.
I hadn't heard of this particular demon. Maybe I missed his acquaintance. Your piece is a wonderfully free-versified litany of excuses for the narrator's lack of action.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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It might work for late school papers at Hogwarts.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Bill,
This is a good poem about becoming a victim of the devil. You lose your heart and will and become basically worthless or maybe dangerous to the world. Though I think that maybe others heard him in a different way than the speaker in the poem did,
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a wonderful weekend.
Joan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
Hi Bill,
This is a good poem about becoming a victim of the devil. You lose your heart and will and become basically worthless or maybe dangerous to the world. Though I think that maybe others heard him in a different way than the speaker in the poem did,
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a wonderful weekend.
Joan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Joan
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You're most welcome, Bill.
Joan
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Not having a goal in life can make us feel melancholy and I have never felt like this before as I have always had a mission. It sounds like a state of limbo here Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
Not having a goal in life can make us feel melancholy and I have never felt like this before as I have always had a mission. It sounds like a state of limbo here Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thanks, Dolly, for giving this a look.
Comment from GoWiSt
"Meeting Belphegor" Uh, do I have to?
Wow! What a picture in that artwork! Even the devil might flee from this one.
"Time spent arguing with invisible beings;
no one was seeing what I saw." Schizophrenia?
"I discovered a hole, that became my heart." Interesting metaphoric imagery.
Geez, possessed by the personification of sloth. Couch potato for life.
Interesting free verse. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
"Meeting Belphegor" Uh, do I have to?
Wow! What a picture in that artwork! Even the devil might flee from this one.
"Time spent arguing with invisible beings;
no one was seeing what I saw." Schizophrenia?
"I discovered a hole, that became my heart." Interesting metaphoric imagery.
Geez, possessed by the personification of sloth. Couch potato for life.
Interesting free verse. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Go
Comment from robyn corum
Bill,
Why must thy keep thine talents so far hidden?
I worry it means when you reveal the secret, some won't see the facts in front of them. Very frustrating.
A couple of notes:
1.) Time spent arguing with invisible beings
--> possible need for punctuation at the end
2.) so I [delete x space] absorbed all the evil
I had to read this piece multiple times. The first time through, probably like most folks, I kinda rushed through, looking for the gag or humor. Then I had to slow down and go back and each following perusal was more earnest and careful.
There's so much here. A reader could really make a meal picking this one apart. I love the way the piece has already folded back in on itself within the first few lines - almost like the writer caught himself about to do some sort of work and thought better of it.
I think it's quite brilliant. Thank you and good luck!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
Bill,
Why must thy keep thine talents so far hidden?
I worry it means when you reveal the secret, some won't see the facts in front of them. Very frustrating.
A couple of notes:
1.) Time spent arguing with invisible beings
--> possible need for punctuation at the end
2.) so I [delete x space] absorbed all the evil
I had to read this piece multiple times. The first time through, probably like most folks, I kinda rushed through, looking for the gag or humor. Then I had to slow down and go back and each following perusal was more earnest and careful.
There's so much here. A reader could really make a meal picking this one apart. I love the way the piece has already folded back in on itself within the first few lines - almost like the writer caught himself about to do some sort of work and thought better of it.
I think it's quite brilliant. Thank you and good luck!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Robyn. I made the space correction and employed a semicolon and a following lowercase letter to complete the sentence.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Nice Free Verse entry, Bill. The Sloth comment reminded me of the movie Goonies.
We all get the Belphegors every now and again. Those who can not get off the couch are cursed with it.
Fun read.
D
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
Nice Free Verse entry, Bill. The Sloth comment reminded me of the movie Goonies.
We all get the Belphegors every now and again. Those who can not get off the couch are cursed with it.
Fun read.
D
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Douglas
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I've not heard of Belphegor the Lord of Laziness before, but you've certainly bought him to life in your free verse, Bill. Good luck in the contest
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
I've not heard of Belphegor the Lord of Laziness before, but you've certainly bought him to life in your free verse, Bill. Good luck in the contest
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Valda
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, I think this Belphegor must visit us all from time to time, I like the lines where you tried to run but had no energy as this really defines laziness, very well written best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
Excellent, I think this Belphegor must visit us all from time to time, I like the lines where you tried to run but had no energy as this really defines laziness, very well written best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Thank you, kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting. But I had read that in Jewish tradition that Belphegor was the demon who inspired inventions. (It looks like he's being inspired on the throne their and holding up his tail to not get dirty.) To be obsessed with invention or obsessed with doing nothing, both could end up with a do-nothing nowhere man. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
Interesting. But I had read that in Jewish tradition that Belphegor was the demon who inspired inventions. (It looks like he's being inspired on the throne their and holding up his tail to not get dirty.) To be obsessed with invention or obsessed with doing nothing, both could end up with a do-nothing nowhere man. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Research says sloth, so ... : )
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Bill Well ine thing that is not lazy is your brain. Always engaged in some verse or another .I enjoyed your free verse and learning about Belphegor as I am sure he visits me at times too lol
Good luck in the contest
Cheers Chris
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
Hi Bill Well ine thing that is not lazy is your brain. Always engaged in some verse or another .I enjoyed your free verse and learning about Belphegor as I am sure he visits me at times too lol
Good luck in the contest
Cheers Chris
Comment Written 24-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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Thank you, Chris