Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

I'm trying to get my head round this verse form so well done for even attempting it! I enjoyed reading your verse, the sounds, the rhymes. And, ultimately, I think I get the message of wishing the reader sunshine and happiness. Good luck! Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 05-Apr-2024

Thank you dear Debbie <3

Comment from Aiona

Excellent

What a fun poem structure! The first four lines are two syllables each, with rhyme or near-rhyme. The last two lines rhyme, and incorporate the first four lines as directed in the prompt. How cool!

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 04-Apr-2024

Thank you dear aiona <3

Comment from kiwisteveh

Excellent

I believe you've ticked all the boxes with this pleasing, sunshiney piece.

'malign' stands out in the first four words as the only one with strong, negative connotations. I'm pleased to see you 'declining' it in the final line, thus managing to squeeze it into this fairly intricate framework.

Well done and good luck.

Steve

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024

Thank you dear Steve <3

Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

This must be one of the most difficult forms of verse I've seen on FS. Congratulations of writing one and making it make sense as well as follow the rules.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024

Thank you dear sally <3