I Promise No Tomorrow
fatal beauty...22 total reviews
Comment from Claire Tennant
A most deserving win Jim. Congratulations Also I had a valuable lesson on getting to the point. Looking forward to reading and learning more! Claire
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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A most deserving win Jim. Congratulations Also I had a valuable lesson on getting to the point. Looking forward to reading and learning more! Claire
Comment Written 23-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2024
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I appreciate your very kind words.
Comment from Robin Strom
Noir detective thought and talk. "You never get use to death";on a plush carpet, a prize jewel, gorgeous with a brain, classy, with a string of lovers, and a flare for poetry. Description of the city; hot breath of the city overpowered me, summer sun, beating down on us like a madman on a deadly drum". Finally, the fatal flaw, alas the second fatal flaw excels!
The story is riveting, the descriptions are Noir classics. Kudos
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Noir detective thought and talk. "You never get use to death";on a plush carpet, a prize jewel, gorgeous with a brain, classy, with a string of lovers, and a flare for poetry. Description of the city; hot breath of the city overpowered me, summer sun, beating down on us like a madman on a deadly drum". Finally, the fatal flaw, alas the second fatal flaw excels!
The story is riveting, the descriptions are Noir classics. Kudos
Comment Written 20-Apr-2024
Comment from RJ Fuller
I love a good hard boiled detective noir! This is such a cool entry for the fatal flaw contest!!! I especially loved the line: Gypsy's was the sort of place that had priceless art surrounding the tables and they charged you a pretty cover fee to admire them. And when he heard the seagulls saying "get him". The ending was totally unexpected!
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I love a good hard boiled detective noir! This is such a cool entry for the fatal flaw contest!!! I especially loved the line: Gypsy's was the sort of place that had priceless art surrounding the tables and they charged you a pretty cover fee to admire them. And when he heard the seagulls saying "get him". The ending was totally unexpected!
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very well written. Error-free as near as I can tell.
The ending left me a little disappointed, though. What are mid day (midday?) shadows?
So, are we to understand that the Book Nook dude would kill all dumb customers who like simple poetry?
Good luck in the contest.
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Very well written. Error-free as near as I can tell.
The ending left me a little disappointed, though. What are mid day (midday?) shadows?
So, are we to understand that the Book Nook dude would kill all dumb customers who like simple poetry?
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have a good handle on the hard-boiled detective voice from the fifties. You tell a good story. And you solved the crime. I am not sure how you did it, but it is a fun story to read and that makes it good.
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You have a good handle on the hard-boiled detective voice from the fifties. You tell a good story. And you solved the crime. I am not sure how you did it, but it is a fun story to read and that makes it good.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2024
Comment from Esther Brown
Ahhh...very good writing. Absolutely deserved a six! Alas I hope you are the winner. You are a very versatile writer.
Only thing I would fix is you used finally twice in subsequent sentences. Easy fix.
Great writing. Esther
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Ahhh...very good writing. Absolutely deserved a six! Alas I hope you are the winner. You are a very versatile writer.
Only thing I would fix is you used finally twice in subsequent sentences. Easy fix.
Great writing. Esther
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
Comment from Cosmic2011
This was a very interesting story and the ending was boss. I couldn't stop reading until the very end. The twist at the end was rewarding. Thank you for sharing.
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This was a very interesting story and the ending was boss. I couldn't stop reading until the very end. The twist at the end was rewarding. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I think I will stay away from people with fatal flaws, they can be deadly! Well, you certainly came up with a fabulous story for the contest. The detective obviously missed the book shop man's fatal flaw, to his cost. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
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I think I will stay away from people with fatal flaws, they can be deadly! Well, you certainly came up with a fabulous story for the contest. The detective obviously missed the book shop man's fatal flaw, to his cost. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
Comment from Daylily
A most-excellent story presented in the brilliant-detective format. Enjoyed reading it so much. Did not expect the ending, but that is strong evidence of an accomplished story. Deserves a six. Alas, this far into the week, they have run out. Best wishes in the Fatal Flaw contest, my friend.
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A most-excellent story presented in the brilliant-detective format. Enjoyed reading it so much. Did not expect the ending, but that is strong evidence of an accomplished story. Deserves a six. Alas, this far into the week, they have run out. Best wishes in the Fatal Flaw contest, my friend.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Great imagery as to surroundings and characters, such as Wilmer's.
Geez, I didn't see that coming. That's some fatal love Wilmer has! I got the connection to the poem; he thought the killer was short because of the way he could hide in the short shadows of the noon-day sun. Who was the other short suspect?
Well, he got his man, but the man got him in return.
Very well written and thought out. Didn't see any errors. Wishing you luck in the contest.
xo
Pam
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Great imagery as to surroundings and characters, such as Wilmer's.
Geez, I didn't see that coming. That's some fatal love Wilmer has! I got the connection to the poem; he thought the killer was short because of the way he could hide in the short shadows of the noon-day sun. Who was the other short suspect?
Well, he got his man, but the man got him in return.
Very well written and thought out. Didn't see any errors. Wishing you luck in the contest.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 22-Mar-2024
