Walking On the Pier with Him
16 line free verse poem on love16 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Christie
This is a wonderfully romantic love song about a strong enduring love.
The seas movements and the pier are strong extended metaphors that work well.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a terrific Tuesday.
Joan
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Hi Christie
This is a wonderfully romantic love song about a strong enduring love.
The seas movements and the pier are strong extended metaphors that work well.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a terrific Tuesday.
Joan
Comment Written 31-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2023
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Hope your Tuesday was nice, too.
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You are most kindly welcome, Crystie.
It was good, thanks.
Joan
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
Ah the Sea. How it speaks to lovers! Sometimes a gentle whisper, yet at others a wild roar. It can elicit gentle hand holding or incredible passion. Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Ah the Sea. How it speaks to lovers! Sometimes a gentle whisper, yet at others a wild roar. It can elicit gentle hand holding or incredible passion. Excellent poem.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment enthusiastically on this poem.
Comment from JSD
A great entry for the competition. So many lovely phrases in this free verse. Carefully chosen language and imagery. The last two lines are particularly effective. Well done and good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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A great entry for the competition. So many lovely phrases in this free verse. Carefully chosen language and imagery. The last two lines are particularly effective. Well done and good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you for such a nice review.
Comment from Eleri
This is a beautiful idea for a love poem and it generally reads well. However there are a few bits that I think don't quite fit. For example, I don't quite understand the bit about sailboats and the last but one line that links oceans to thunder. It is not obvious to me what the connection is between oceans and thunder. If you are implying that the ocean waves thunder, I think that you need to make that a bit more obvious. Having said that the first two stanzas are truly lovely and poignant so good luck in the contest
Eleri
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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This is a beautiful idea for a love poem and it generally reads well. However there are a few bits that I think don't quite fit. For example, I don't quite understand the bit about sailboats and the last but one line that links oceans to thunder. It is not obvious to me what the connection is between oceans and thunder. If you are implying that the ocean waves thunder, I think that you need to make that a bit more obvious. Having said that the first two stanzas are truly lovely and poignant so good luck in the contest
Eleri
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review! Ocean imagery, thunder, etc. can get interpreted on more than one level :)
Comment from Paul Manton
Wow, Crystie - very near to a six. A lovely metaphor with the old pier representing your relationship, with the individual verses giving different aspects.
And a second introductory metaphor with you as the island 'to be discovered' - reminds me of Andrew Marvel and John Donne. I particularly enjoyed the second verse with its fine alliteration - and the use of 'softens' and 'strong'.
The more I read, the more there is to find - thunder and lightning beautifully used at the end. The second reading was 5.8 and the third a definite six.
A beautiful poem. I'm sure it will do well in the competition.
Paul
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Wow, Crystie - very near to a six. A lovely metaphor with the old pier representing your relationship, with the individual verses giving different aspects.
And a second introductory metaphor with you as the island 'to be discovered' - reminds me of Andrew Marvel and John Donne. I particularly enjoyed the second verse with its fine alliteration - and the use of 'softens' and 'strong'.
The more I read, the more there is to find - thunder and lightning beautifully used at the end. The second reading was 5.8 and the third a definite six.
A beautiful poem. I'm sure it will do well in the competition.
Paul
Comment Written 23-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for your super review. That just made my week.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Wow Crystie, this is so beautifully penned and the last stanza is my favourite. Your words come from the heart and I reckon this is a winner for the contest, I wish you luck, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Wow Crystie, this is so beautifully penned and the last stanza is my favourite. Your words come from the heart and I reckon this is a winner for the contest, I wish you luck, love Dolly x
Comment Written 22-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
There's a lovely warmth and light that spreads from your image into your fine, romantic free verse. There is a sense of true togetherness here that can never be broken. In short, it's a very pleasing and inspiring little verse. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest Debbie
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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There's a lovely warmth and light that spreads from your image into your fine, romantic free verse. There is a sense of true togetherness here that can never be broken. In short, it's a very pleasing and inspiring little verse. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest Debbie
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you for such a nice review.
Comment from lauralumummu
The last line is my favorite. This is a very romantic love poem. It's easy to read and holds my attention. I hope you do well in the contest. All the best, Laura.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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The last line is my favorite. This is a very romantic love poem. It's easy to read and holds my attention. I hope you do well in the contest. All the best, Laura.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you so much for your super review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, Walking on the Pier with Him, is terrific and makes me think of all the folks I've ever witnessed anywhere, milking the most out of life as they hold on to each other.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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This free verse, Walking on the Pier with Him, is terrific and makes me think of all the folks I've ever witnessed anywhere, milking the most out of life as they hold on to each other.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your excellent review.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent love poem for the challenge. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in a readers.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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This is excellent love poem for the challenge. Your presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in a readers.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
Comment Written 21-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2023
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Thank you for your awesome five-star review with such nice details.
