Blind Justice
An abused wife pushed to her limit.46 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Well that quite the kick in the balls ending. This is very good.
Just when I was feeling all sleazy and dirty being a man, down rains the head chopper!
Two suggestions:
rectangular Pier glass/overmantel
(Not sure about the capital here unless Pier is a glass company)
Also
mustn't feel sorry for pastor Gurley--his own closet
(I think the word 'pastor' should be capitalized as it is used as a title. )
Regardless those are minor things, this was awesome, and I had to six it.
D
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Well that quite the kick in the balls ending. This is very good.
Just when I was feeling all sleazy and dirty being a man, down rains the head chopper!
Two suggestions:
rectangular Pier glass/overmantel
(Not sure about the capital here unless Pier is a glass company)
Also
mustn't feel sorry for pastor Gurley--his own closet
(I think the word 'pastor' should be capitalized as it is used as a title. )
Regardless those are minor things, this was awesome, and I had to six it.
D
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Douglas, for your extra special six-star review, kind words, and suggestions. I honestly don't know, but thought pier glass was a brand name, but it's also the type. I guess I should have said trumeau mirror which just describes the type and there wouldn't have been any question. LOL. But just to be safe, I'll remove the capitol. In the situation of Pastor Gurley, I thought about it for a while, but decided pastor was a position and Gurley was the name. Now that you have me thinking about it, maybe you're right. So, I'll change that too. LOL. Either way, I certainly appreciate you taking the time to point these issues out, and I'm glad there weren't three dozen more. Seriously, thanks again for your wonderful review. It's greatly appreciated!
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Just minor suggestions, my friend. You are talented, Sir and I enjoy reading your works.
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I enjoy reading your posts too. I've been traveling too much lately and had to cut back on my reading, but I hope to be reading more soon. Thanks bunches!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
There is no way that you could have finished this with less words, it would have ruined it!! It was soooo nice to see the husband get what he'd planned for his wife! I loved this story. And she get to keep all the money! Nice one! Well done, my friend, he got his just deserts! Love and hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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There is no way that you could have finished this with less words, it would have ruined it!! It was soooo nice to see the husband get what he'd planned for his wife! I loved this story. And she get to keep all the money! Nice one! Well done, my friend, he got his just deserts! Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Sandra, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. You've made my week with your comments. I'm glad you liked it. Hugs and a peck on the forehead back at you! I appreciate YOU!
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Ohh, that was a lovely peck!! 😊xx
Comment from Michelle D. Carr
Fantastic ending. It was suspenseful. I expected a twist but I could easily visualize the room and even the eyes of the woman. You also made the judge despicable enough to feel it was a happy ending, if murder is ever happy. Your writing is very descriptive.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Fantastic ending. It was suspenseful. I expected a twist but I could easily visualize the room and even the eyes of the woman. You also made the judge despicable enough to feel it was a happy ending, if murder is ever happy. Your writing is very descriptive.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Michelle, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I'm so glad you liked my story, dark as it is, and was able to enjoy the murder. LOL. Like you said, "if murder is ever happy." I appreciate your time and encouraging review!
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You are very welcome. I look forward to more.
Comment from Sanku
The killer waited as was told and instead of the wife he killed the husband. I was so glad that he got his just desserts. But then she was kissing the assassin's lips! So arranged this with him? You have cleverly left it open ended.But hope the assassin does not land her in trouble....
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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The killer waited as was told and instead of the wife he killed the husband. I was so glad that he got his just desserts. But then she was kissing the assassin's lips! So arranged this with him? You have cleverly left it open ended.But hope the assassin does not land her in trouble....
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Sanku, for your generous review, kind words, and understanding comments. It's extra special when the reader gets what I've intended to do. I like to make readers think a little on their own. And you are so right, Sienna may have "jumped from the frying pan into the fire' by taking up with the killer. LOL. Thanks again for your perceptiveness. You've made my day. Much appreciated!
Comment from karenina
This was long? Not a chance you could ever write too much for me, my friend! Dark? Heck yes. But with all your trademark tension and plot quirks that endear your writing to a huge pool of fans here at FanStory--of which I'm proud to be a part! You don't post often...which makes seeing a notice that you have a "go-to" moment!
Karenina
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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This was long? Not a chance you could ever write too much for me, my friend! Dark? Heck yes. But with all your trademark tension and plot quirks that endear your writing to a huge pool of fans here at FanStory--of which I'm proud to be a part! You don't post often...which makes seeing a notice that you have a "go-to" moment!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Karenina, for the extra special six-star review and kind words. You always say the nicest things and offer such encouragement, not only to me, but to everyone. Just like sugar on your cereal, you're sweet every day. I appreciate YOU!
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Hmmm. This could be the cause of my diabetes...
Seriously though. Nice thought, but you should observe my behavior "PC"
(Pre-Coffee!"
You're the sweet one!
Comment from lyenochka
Ooh! You sure know how to write scary stuff! I guess you make it feel like the violence is justified because all the husband and the judge/assassin are just horrible people.
So the husband hired the judge to kill Sienna. But Sienna's lover killed off the husband? I like how you sprang the hoped for surprise on the reader but I worry if she's hooked up with a killer if she's any safer.
Great job in this suspenseful piece!
Suggestions:
"Okay, judge. (Okay, Judge.) since it's used in lieu of a name
head to her sisters (sister's) seems like a singular possessive as there was just one sister mention
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Ooh! You sure know how to write scary stuff! I guess you make it feel like the violence is justified because all the husband and the judge/assassin are just horrible people.
So the husband hired the judge to kill Sienna. But Sienna's lover killed off the husband? I like how you sprang the hoped for surprise on the reader but I worry if she's hooked up with a killer if she's any safer.
Great job in this suspenseful piece!
Suggestions:
"Okay, judge. (Okay, Judge.) since it's used in lieu of a name
head to her sisters (sister's) seems like a singular possessive as there was just one sister mention
Comment Written 04-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Helen, for your generous review, suggestion, and kind words. The judge is the husband. Judge Roberts is the husband who hired the assassin to kill Sienna. But Sienna left, leaving her car in the driveway. The judge/husband thinking she should already be dead, went up the stairs where the killer was waiting in the bedroom and was killed by mistake. Or was it by mistake, since at the end, Sienna was kissing the assassin. LOL. Yes, I'm nuts. And you are right, the new element of the story is: has she "jumped from the frying pan into the fire" with her new lover. All these things are added to keep the reader thinking and wondering what now. I appreciate YOU!
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Oh! I missed that the judge was the husband. Thanks for explaining that.
Great writing that fits the suspense market of today.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I really enjoyed this story. It was worth the wait for one of your posts. Because of continuous action and description, the length wasn't noticed. When Sienna decided to forgo her niece's party, I laughed out loud, knowing what was going to happen. But you still got me with a surprise and satisfying ending.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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I really enjoyed this story. It was worth the wait for one of your posts. Because of continuous action and description, the length wasn't noticed. When Sienna decided to forgo her niece's party, I laughed out loud, knowing what was going to happen. But you still got me with a surprise and satisfying ending.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Lorraine, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. There is nothing more rewarding than for one of my favorite short story writers who I enjoy reading regularly to like my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Irene Bratton
Hi, Ric. This story is a very compelling read. I don't usually enjoy dark pieces; but this has -- what I consider, at least -- a happy ending; and I love happy endings. As bad as it sounds, he totally deserved it; and you told it very well.
I won't pick at sentence structure here because the way you have it works well at building the tension and suspense. I have to point out a couple of punctuation things because that's just what I do, literally. (I'm a proofreader.) I won't pick at the colons because, again, that's part of the tension and suspense bit; but a couple of apostrophes are out of place. At the beginning of section two, "Judge Robert's secretary..." should be "Judge Roberts' secretary..." because his last name is Roberts and not Robert. During his phone call with the future intruder, "...but kid's crap..." should be either "...but the kid's crap..." referring to the niece, or "...but kids' crap..." referring to all kids.
I apologize for the pickiness, but I like to do this the right way. They're very minor issues which really don't matter when you're simply writing for fun. The phone call really set the stage for what was coming; and when Sienna decided against the party, I thought I knew how this would end. The judge's demise was predictable, but the ending shocked an evil laugh out of me. I couldn't help it.
Very well done, Ric. Thank you for sharing, and have a blessed week. -- Irene :)
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Hi, Ric. This story is a very compelling read. I don't usually enjoy dark pieces; but this has -- what I consider, at least -- a happy ending; and I love happy endings. As bad as it sounds, he totally deserved it; and you told it very well.
I won't pick at sentence structure here because the way you have it works well at building the tension and suspense. I have to point out a couple of punctuation things because that's just what I do, literally. (I'm a proofreader.) I won't pick at the colons because, again, that's part of the tension and suspense bit; but a couple of apostrophes are out of place. At the beginning of section two, "Judge Robert's secretary..." should be "Judge Roberts' secretary..." because his last name is Roberts and not Robert. During his phone call with the future intruder, "...but kid's crap..." should be either "...but the kid's crap..." referring to the niece, or "...but kids' crap..." referring to all kids.
I apologize for the pickiness, but I like to do this the right way. They're very minor issues which really don't matter when you're simply writing for fun. The phone call really set the stage for what was coming; and when Sienna decided against the party, I thought I knew how this would end. The judge's demise was predictable, but the ending shocked an evil laugh out of me. I couldn't help it.
Very well done, Ric. Thank you for sharing, and have a blessed week. -- Irene :)
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Irene, for your generous review, suggestions, and kind words. As a proofreader, I seriously would have figured you might blast me for the colons; but like you sort of seemed to understand, they were done for effect. The judge Robert's secretary apostrophe was a stupid blunder, of which, I make plenty. Of course, I still wouldn't have done it right, since I would have written it judge Roberts's. I mean, she is his secretary. And again, even someone like me who barely knows a noun from a verb, and nothing about punctuation and grammar, should have never made the kids' mistake. If you don't mind, I'll wait to make the corrections until you let me know if I should stay with Roberts' or Roberts's. As for me, I always strictly write for fun. I'm just a silly old boy who writes fast, hates to reread, edit, or polish to any degree. When I first started putting my goofy foolishness on paper there used to be mistakes in every line, and sometimes I still revert back to old times. I can't thank you enough for your encouragement and corrections; and especially, the time you spent in being helpful. Much appreciated!
Well, there you have it. I'm officially firing myself. You are correct that it should be "Judge Roberts's secretary." I can't believe I messed that up, and I'm so sorry. At least I got the kids thing right. Haha.
Oh, wait. I meant to say that I mistyped, and I really meant Roberts's but forgot the 's' at the end. There it is. I'm kidding, of course; but I try to laugh at things too when I can. :)
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So, you're a late night reader? I didn't expect a reply last night, so this is a great way to start my day this morning with a laugh. I'm the worst at making silly mistakes. Sometimes because I write too fast and do little editing, don't know what's right, and/or, I'm not willing to spend the time to research. But it's nice to see that even those who do know what's right can have a tiny slip up too. I knew you'd make me smile from the first time I read one of your poems. Have a wonderful week!
;)
Comment from GWHARGIS
Like it, I smacked the arm of my chair when I realized what the Judge was walking into. This was great. Dark, yet not too morbid. Violent but only enough for this reader to cheer for Judge's demise. You really don't post often. But you should. Gretchen
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Like it, I smacked the arm of my chair when I realized what the Judge was walking into. This was great. Dark, yet not too morbid. Violent but only enough for this reader to cheer for Judge's demise. You really don't post often. But you should. Gretchen
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Gretchen, for your extra special six-star review and kind words. I don't write a lot because I'd rather read those of you who I enjoy regularly. But it's always nice when my favorite writers say such nice things. I appreciate YOU!
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You are welcome
Comment from Thesis
Ric, your story was well thought out and designed to provide a nice twist at the end. The judge and many others like him, should all have the same fate. I liked how you stated that Sienna had a friend picking her up and how that friend happened to be the Judge's killer.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Ric, your story was well thought out and designed to provide a nice twist at the end. The judge and many others like him, should all have the same fate. I liked how you stated that Sienna had a friend picking her up and how that friend happened to be the Judge's killer.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2023
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Thank you so much, Thesis, for your generous review and kind words. It's always a pleasure for those of you whom I enjoy reading regularly to like some of my foolishness. I'm with you in that it's always nice to see the bad guys get what they have coming to them. Much appreciated!
